The Danger Of Purposelessness

A destructive decay looking for a place to roost...

Humans are running out of purpose in their lives. I have discussed this in the past, but there is a reason that I am bringing it back up. Humans, most humans anyway, require purpose to live fruitful and fulfilling lives. It is something that as much as many try to ignore it, and instead focus on things that are immediate in their gratification, they will suffer for that lack.

This suffering leads them to search, even if they aren’t aware that is what they are doing, and that lack can be filled in dangerous ways that they are unable to discern as being dangerous. There is something to be said for those that don’t have this drive, and at the same time have nefarious intentions. They can certainly lead people far from a good path for their own purposes. That isn’t something that should be forgotten, because it is a lesson that once learned might be too late to backtrack out of.

If someone like me, someone that does not require purpose to feel adjusted and happy in their life, and cannot experience the existential angst that may arise from not being grounded in something larger than themselves, sees those around them seeking something that they will give pretty much their whole being to experience, that is a dangerous prospect. It is also easy for someone like me, so you need to keep your eyes open. If I were so inclined, I could infiltrate people’s lives and get them to do pretty much anything. It just requires pulling the right emotional and purpose-seeking strings.

However, I think that much is obvious. When someone sees a need and an easy exploit, if they have ill intent, they are dangerous individuals to know. It isn’t them that I think needs a warning sounded about, rather it is those that are also purposeless and need you to come along with them on their journey into madness to validate the choices that they make. They cannot find purpose unless you are there to provide it. These people are more dangerous because they do not see the harm that they are doing to themselves, others, and the world.

Someone that lacks purpose will seek it and often what they find is a poor destructive substitute that might feel good in the moment, but in reality, is draining away everything that makes them a functional human and giving it to this newfound sense of satisfaction that will lead them to ruin. However, often that isn’t enough. It’s one thing to find something that for a time fills that void, but if there is no one there agreeing with them that this is the right path, it will lead them back to being empty.

When they have the validation of others, however, they continue down this path. An excellent example would be cult leaders, of course. Without the cult, their sense of purpose disappears. They can write all the religiously inclined texts and believe that they are the savior, but without a group believing in their personal narrative, it isn’t distinguishable from mental illness. Agreement makes it real in their minds.

This is true of many things. You can see it in the group dynamics of bullying. You can say mean things about another person, but if everyone around you ignores you or calls you out on it, the social pressure leads you to fall in line. This is not the case one hundred percent of the time, of course, there are always outliers, but generally bullies run in packs, because the agreement justifies their actions in their minds.

You can definitely find this in the mob mentality. Once a target is selected, and they are on the move, there is little reason to be found there. They are acting in agreement with one another, and when one person decides to take the next step, the group is almost always behind them. It is rare to find a mob policing their own. Rather, once someone steps out of line of their agreed-upon direction, that person is made into simply another target to destroy.

People seek to feel that they have direction in the world, and something to fight for. However, they are also seeking comrades in that fight, because humans are social animals. Purpose used to be the core values that the group shared. Traditionally these would be family, function (meaning the value and purpose of work), and religion. Over time groups have become more loosely related. It no longer is the case that people often know their neighbors for instance, and many people only have friends online.

When covid rolled around, working in seclusion became the norm, and if you were unlucky enough to be a single person in the city, human interaction became more and more sparing. However, the social separation has been happening long before covid found its way into everyone’s lives. Religious people are on the downturn in numbers, and people’s jobs went from being something that they felt fulfilled at through hard work and effort, to something that was defined by nondescript cubical walls and barely any interaction with people that had any meaning.

The nuclear family has been steadily on the decline and the extended family has become a fractured mess for many. The more people descend into their screens and rely on them for their interactions, the less socially adept they are at engagement with others one on one. There is a large hole in many people’s lives, and that hole needs something to fill it for people to function. The more isolated people are, the more they seek out a tribe.

Tribalism is often considered a very negative thing, but I think that is a very limited way of seeing things. The tribe is what is responsible for humans’ existence in the first place. Without tribes and tribalism, you wouldn’t be here, and neither would I. It was the first line of offense against those that might do you harm, and it was the first and best defense against the world at large. That tribe is what cared for the old and the sick, it is what brought in the food for the group, and it was what protected the group from outside forces. It is because of the tribe that there is human civilization.

With the advent of large cities, and the ability to travel longer distances without the support of the group, the tribe shifted and changed rapidly. Too rapidly for the human brain to evolve and adapt to the speed. Which leaves us with unfettered humans looking for shelter in the storm. Many people still create their own purpose. They have a strong drive to create, to work hard and leave a mark on the world, to have a family, to attend religious services, and have a relationship with however they define the divine. Others, not so much. Others dismiss these avenues often with a profound level of judgment on those that do find their purpose in them.

That leaves them eschewing what might lend to them a fulfilling path, and not having a direction to go that makes sense. Finding somewhere that gives them a shadow of that sense of purpose tends to be the choice, and often that shadow isn’t good for them at all. They become the devouring mother. They seek codependents that will continue to feed them until the codependents are used up. Or, much like a pyramid scheme, they program their codependents to bring in more people to be consumed in their search for meaning. They need you to be a part of their world because your being there defines their world as a valid place. You can never step out of line because that shatters the illusion that they are forming around themselves.

They are very seductive, however. They know what you are seeking because it is what they are seeking, and they assure you in very emotionally convincing ways that they are indeed fulfilled. You can be too. It’s a very tempting bargain that they may truly believe that they are helping you, but the reality is they can’t help you any more than they are helping themselves. They cannot provide to you what they do not have, but they are very good at selling you the picture that they do.

It will feel very good at first. It will feel like you finally found your home, people that know you and understand you, people that can help you be your authentic self. All of it is a lie, of course. Once you are there for a time the tarnish will start to show, and you will be faced with a choice. Admit that it isn’t everything that you thought, or decide to ignore it because you feel a sense of loyalty or obligation to your new tribe. If you show signs of wavering, you will be cajoled to come back into the fold. It might even look like love bombing. You’re so amazing, you’re so brave, you’re so beautiful, you’re so strong, they understand you and no one else does.

If you have the nerve to truly waver, to consider walking away, and the toxic stew of a group sees this, they will turn on you. They will shame you for even thinking about it. Shame is a powerful motivator and they will bring all they have to bear to keep you in line. If you still choose to walk, you will be sacrificed. There will not be one friend left for you out of people you may have even thought of as family. You are the enemy and you are to be ignored or very likely, destroyed at all costs.

This isn’t a group of psychopaths doing this as people often accuse. These are people that understand that these tactics work because they work on them as well. It is easy to emotionally terrorize someone that is already feeling empty and alone. It is easy for the participants in this sort of thing to understand what it is to feel empty and alone because that is what led them there, to begin with. The more rank they have in the group, likely the longer they have been there. The longer they have been there, the more dedicated they are to not experiencing what brought them there in the beginning. They cannot have their veil shattered because it is what they are holding onto for dear life.

All the way to the top, and there is always some sort of leader or leaders, they all feel a desperation to have meaning, purpose, a tribe, a sense of belonging. They need all the other people there to justify their belief in what they have constructed as their little world, and if someone leaves it creates doubt. That is never going to be allowed.

You might think that because I used cults as an example that this is something that happens mostly around spiritual movements of some sort, but that isn’t the case at all. It happens in groups of people that are seeking something larger than themselves and need other people to create that for them. They are seeking others to tell them who they are and then they need those others to remain in their sickness with them, no exceptions.

You have to find your own purpose in the world. If you aren’t interested in family, rewarding work, creating things, a strong friend group, a religious path, something, you have a void that you will find a way to fill. Your choice has to be whether that something is going to add to your life and provide for you what is necessary, or drain it, leaving you a husk that can only agree because you are terrified of the inevitable outcome of being excised if you dare not to.