This was another great article. The meaning of life is such an interesting topic to me, and seeing all the different ways people approach it is super eye-opening. I especially liked the part about the den-man crafting and building even if he lived alone in the middle of the woods; I’d never thought of fulfillment and the meaning of life in those words, but it makes perfect sense. I write, and even though I love the social aspect of it and the idea of my stories one day being to people what my favorite stories have been to me, I’d still write even if no one ever saw a single word of them. Crafting these worlds and characters brings me so much joy and fulfillment to my days that I can’t imagine myself not writing. It’s a way to relax on a good day and a way to vent on a bad day as well as a way to escape when life is stressful.
But while writing (and art in general) is a part of my being, the core of my identity, I still wouldn’t call it the meaning of my life. Which is odd, and I can’t find a reason for that disconnect other than that I think there is no meaning to life. There are things that fulfill us, things that seem like we’re born to do (like the den-man with his decks or me with my writings), but a meaning? I don’t know.
There might be two different ways people talk of meaning. First is the ”religious” type that, in one way or another, believes in some sort of a plan made by some higher power. Second is the type that are actually talking of what makes their life feel worth living, and use the ”meaning of life” as a synonym for that whole thing. It’s more of a personal approach.
Personally, I can’t believe in the former, that there’s actually a reason for my existence. My parents were cold one night so here I am, and that’s how it’s been ever since the first ever living thing up my family tree. But maybe, if I look at the meaning of my life rather as something that fulfills me…
Eh. It still feels dumb to me to call art and being helpful the meaning of my life. No matter how I spin it, I just can’t remove the ”the meaning of my life = a reason I’m here” association. Which is probably just me and my stupid brain unwilling to understand the phrase, but I can’t seem to help it.
And really, a meaningless (aka reason-less) life does sound good to me. I know we’re slaves to our genes and gut-biome and the culture we were raised in and whatever, and by that logic we never truly have free will, but I like the idea of being a blank slate. That I just happen to exist for no real reason other than impossibly good but ultimately random luck (since in a meaningless world, the chances of me existing were infinitely close to zero), that I can find the things that make me the happiest, whatever they may be. Because meaningless doesn’t mean unfulfilled or unenjoyable, only that no one chose my life for me and that I get to be whoever I want to be.
A thought provoking article. I think my take on it is based on the difference between motivation and intention.
The psychopath surgeon is selfishly motivated but has good intentions when operating. His aim is to cure not to harm. Result positive more often than not, we hope.
The disabled person is neutral in both motivation and intention. Result positive in this case but could be negative in another.
The charity worker honourable in motivation, well intentioned but result negative. To me though the difference here is that external factors ie the dishonesty of the charity he worked for resulted in result negative. Different charity ( agree many are corrupt) and he could have been result positive.
My point here is that you can’t control all the variables that impact an outcome. You are well intentioned or you have malign intention when interacting with others for the most part.
Sometimes you are neutral. Example, I said “Happy New Year” to a lady who goes to my gym. The lady is quite old, I like her, we chat a lot but I don’t know her outside of that environment. So I hugged her and said “Happy New Year!” Neutral motivation, neutral intention. She emailed me later in the day to tell me that she cried on the way home in the car because my gesture was so sweet. No one knows what the lives of others are like. If I had known I would make a difference to her day I would have had positive intention when I did it.
You can’t control external factors that feed into a result. You can control yourself. Motivation is important but it’s not my place to judge and allocate worth to the motivation of another. I do think though that we can be well intentioned with the tools we have at our disposal.
Well intentioned people do make mistakes, an outcome might be different than the one intended but, on balance, good intention should bring more positive results over a lifetime.
So, looking at this blog, I don’t pretend to know Athena well but the motivation for running it might include a pleasure of writing, a learning opportunity, to alleviate boredom, just as examples. The intention is positive, the aim being the creation of a space for intelligent, open, non judgemental discussion. Positive result.
People are the point I think. For me at least. Walking this world alone would not fulfil me. Even the beauty of it would be less impactful without the people I encountered along the way. I am well intentioned, I don’t always get it right, but I do try and again, for me, that’s part of the point.
Feb 2, 2023·edited Feb 2, 2023Liked by Athena Walker
Great article and great question "Does a person’s motivation to live a life that fulfills their need for purpose somehow outweigh a person’s motivation to challenge themselves because that is what they are entertained by if the outcome is a net positive for the world regardless?" I think not. Judging the motivation is irrelevant when there is a good outcome! And, who is self annointed to be the judge on high?
I have a friend who likes to post on FaceBook about her "dopamine hit of the day" whenever she does something that has an apparent positive effect on someone else which I always find entertaining.
It's also very profound to say that presuming that your life has some higher purpose is very judgmental. That never occurred to me before even though I've always been skeptical when someone made that claim about themselves
I loved this Athena. I couldn't agree more. I am a cluster b person who has been through and survived a lot in life. All the points you made about meaning and emotional attachment to that meaning was something that was used as manipulative tools by toxic family members as ways of control (people like to wind others up with guilt) but the more I journey on, I find I am of 2 minds: nothing matters/everything matters. I typically use my own mantra that I will try and be more mindful today than yesterday, no emotional attachment whatsoever, no judgement. Just acceptance for the moment. 💖
After two decades pursuing liberal arts, I finally realized that I wasn't talented, or suitable for any pursuit in those fields, so I switched to law for two years, then medicine (nursing). I found all of it fulfilling for myself, but found the most meaning in helping people medically. But, I wasn't just being "nice". I was being paid, too. It also helped me to acquire knowledge that's been repeatedly useful to me. So, it's selfish, profitable, meaningful, and needed all at the same time. I've enjoyed all of my life so far, despite many setbacks, and lots of tribulation. I'm content, but always actively searching for existential meaning.
As for you, Athena, does it give you any satisfaction that you're adding to humanity's knowledge of psychopathy? Despite the frustration you expressed in your previous article, you would acknowledge making that contribution? Don't you have a reason or purpose for doing that? Or, could it be found in the writing itself, the creative process? Is it solely because it "needs to be done"? Could it also be to exemplify successful psychopathy, with cognitive empathy, and a prosocial life worth living? To inspire?
The timing of this article, for me and for the people in my life who are neuroatypical, is amazing. I deeply appreciate what you do. Thank you for throwing me a little light.
Excellent answer. You're helping me understand a lot of things. For instance, how I can be an absurdist/nihilist without any feelings of existential dread. Mental stimulation, learning, and bettering myself are my goals in life. I have to accept that my goals don't make any sense to most people and people may think my life is a failure. As much as I find it a bit irritating, it's a waste of my time and energy to worry about it.
"It is better to live in a community than a warzone." --> This is actually my favorite argument for the value of compassionate empathy (emotional + cognitive).
Opposites temper each other. An exclusively reasonable work would be callous and inhospitable to live in; a fully emotional world would be childish and trite. We need both sides more than we know.
Mental health is the ability to reconcile extremes. Why choose meaning OR purpose, when one can just as well have both - and focusing on only either side is bound to create blindspots that inevitably will source subjectively unpleasant experiences?
You know Athena, sometimes I get the sense that your writings are actually no longer about psychopathy - but rather about self-actualization as experienced through a human lens that happens to be psychopathic in nature. Well done!
Athena, have you ever read a thing seemingly plucked whole from your own mind? I just did, to the last line. You and I are different; references to the psychopath obviously don’t apply to me, the autist. Still, it was such a satisfying moment to finish this article and think: “yasss!!…THIS!!….exactly!!”
I've read and moreover perceived that psychopaths especially of the secondary variety lead very pessimistic lives due to a dark boringness of nothingness. I know this is not true of all, but it's certainly true of my mother, a primary psychopath, and of other cluster b trait types I've met. Another friend told me “I'm just waiting to die”. On the other hand, I've met very very successful psychopaths who are present in life and seem to have goals, and the ambition to compete at an above-elite level. Somehow, though I've always gotten a vibe from them that they are constantly fighting gloom and boredom. Is there any accuracy to this in your opinions? When I wasn't able, there was always ‘caine.
This was another great article. The meaning of life is such an interesting topic to me, and seeing all the different ways people approach it is super eye-opening. I especially liked the part about the den-man crafting and building even if he lived alone in the middle of the woods; I’d never thought of fulfillment and the meaning of life in those words, but it makes perfect sense. I write, and even though I love the social aspect of it and the idea of my stories one day being to people what my favorite stories have been to me, I’d still write even if no one ever saw a single word of them. Crafting these worlds and characters brings me so much joy and fulfillment to my days that I can’t imagine myself not writing. It’s a way to relax on a good day and a way to vent on a bad day as well as a way to escape when life is stressful.
But while writing (and art in general) is a part of my being, the core of my identity, I still wouldn’t call it the meaning of my life. Which is odd, and I can’t find a reason for that disconnect other than that I think there is no meaning to life. There are things that fulfill us, things that seem like we’re born to do (like the den-man with his decks or me with my writings), but a meaning? I don’t know.
There might be two different ways people talk of meaning. First is the ”religious” type that, in one way or another, believes in some sort of a plan made by some higher power. Second is the type that are actually talking of what makes their life feel worth living, and use the ”meaning of life” as a synonym for that whole thing. It’s more of a personal approach.
Personally, I can’t believe in the former, that there’s actually a reason for my existence. My parents were cold one night so here I am, and that’s how it’s been ever since the first ever living thing up my family tree. But maybe, if I look at the meaning of my life rather as something that fulfills me…
Eh. It still feels dumb to me to call art and being helpful the meaning of my life. No matter how I spin it, I just can’t remove the ”the meaning of my life = a reason I’m here” association. Which is probably just me and my stupid brain unwilling to understand the phrase, but I can’t seem to help it.
And really, a meaningless (aka reason-less) life does sound good to me. I know we’re slaves to our genes and gut-biome and the culture we were raised in and whatever, and by that logic we never truly have free will, but I like the idea of being a blank slate. That I just happen to exist for no real reason other than impossibly good but ultimately random luck (since in a meaningless world, the chances of me existing were infinitely close to zero), that I can find the things that make me the happiest, whatever they may be. Because meaningless doesn’t mean unfulfilled or unenjoyable, only that no one chose my life for me and that I get to be whoever I want to be.
A thought provoking article. I think my take on it is based on the difference between motivation and intention.
The psychopath surgeon is selfishly motivated but has good intentions when operating. His aim is to cure not to harm. Result positive more often than not, we hope.
The disabled person is neutral in both motivation and intention. Result positive in this case but could be negative in another.
The charity worker honourable in motivation, well intentioned but result negative. To me though the difference here is that external factors ie the dishonesty of the charity he worked for resulted in result negative. Different charity ( agree many are corrupt) and he could have been result positive.
My point here is that you can’t control all the variables that impact an outcome. You are well intentioned or you have malign intention when interacting with others for the most part.
Sometimes you are neutral. Example, I said “Happy New Year” to a lady who goes to my gym. The lady is quite old, I like her, we chat a lot but I don’t know her outside of that environment. So I hugged her and said “Happy New Year!” Neutral motivation, neutral intention. She emailed me later in the day to tell me that she cried on the way home in the car because my gesture was so sweet. No one knows what the lives of others are like. If I had known I would make a difference to her day I would have had positive intention when I did it.
You can’t control external factors that feed into a result. You can control yourself. Motivation is important but it’s not my place to judge and allocate worth to the motivation of another. I do think though that we can be well intentioned with the tools we have at our disposal.
Well intentioned people do make mistakes, an outcome might be different than the one intended but, on balance, good intention should bring more positive results over a lifetime.
So, looking at this blog, I don’t pretend to know Athena well but the motivation for running it might include a pleasure of writing, a learning opportunity, to alleviate boredom, just as examples. The intention is positive, the aim being the creation of a space for intelligent, open, non judgemental discussion. Positive result.
People are the point I think. For me at least. Walking this world alone would not fulfil me. Even the beauty of it would be less impactful without the people I encountered along the way. I am well intentioned, I don’t always get it right, but I do try and again, for me, that’s part of the point.
Great article and great question "Does a person’s motivation to live a life that fulfills their need for purpose somehow outweigh a person’s motivation to challenge themselves because that is what they are entertained by if the outcome is a net positive for the world regardless?" I think not. Judging the motivation is irrelevant when there is a good outcome! And, who is self annointed to be the judge on high?
I have a friend who likes to post on FaceBook about her "dopamine hit of the day" whenever she does something that has an apparent positive effect on someone else which I always find entertaining.
It's also very profound to say that presuming that your life has some higher purpose is very judgmental. That never occurred to me before even though I've always been skeptical when someone made that claim about themselves
I loved this Athena. I couldn't agree more. I am a cluster b person who has been through and survived a lot in life. All the points you made about meaning and emotional attachment to that meaning was something that was used as manipulative tools by toxic family members as ways of control (people like to wind others up with guilt) but the more I journey on, I find I am of 2 minds: nothing matters/everything matters. I typically use my own mantra that I will try and be more mindful today than yesterday, no emotional attachment whatsoever, no judgement. Just acceptance for the moment. 💖
After two decades pursuing liberal arts, I finally realized that I wasn't talented, or suitable for any pursuit in those fields, so I switched to law for two years, then medicine (nursing). I found all of it fulfilling for myself, but found the most meaning in helping people medically. But, I wasn't just being "nice". I was being paid, too. It also helped me to acquire knowledge that's been repeatedly useful to me. So, it's selfish, profitable, meaningful, and needed all at the same time. I've enjoyed all of my life so far, despite many setbacks, and lots of tribulation. I'm content, but always actively searching for existential meaning.
As for you, Athena, does it give you any satisfaction that you're adding to humanity's knowledge of psychopathy? Despite the frustration you expressed in your previous article, you would acknowledge making that contribution? Don't you have a reason or purpose for doing that? Or, could it be found in the writing itself, the creative process? Is it solely because it "needs to be done"? Could it also be to exemplify successful psychopathy, with cognitive empathy, and a prosocial life worth living? To inspire?
Written with so much clarity, Athena. Bravo.
The timing of this article, for me and for the people in my life who are neuroatypical, is amazing. I deeply appreciate what you do. Thank you for throwing me a little light.
Excellent answer. You're helping me understand a lot of things. For instance, how I can be an absurdist/nihilist without any feelings of existential dread. Mental stimulation, learning, and bettering myself are my goals in life. I have to accept that my goals don't make any sense to most people and people may think my life is a failure. As much as I find it a bit irritating, it's a waste of my time and energy to worry about it.
"It is better to live in a community than a warzone." --> This is actually my favorite argument for the value of compassionate empathy (emotional + cognitive).
Opposites temper each other. An exclusively reasonable work would be callous and inhospitable to live in; a fully emotional world would be childish and trite. We need both sides more than we know.
Mental health is the ability to reconcile extremes. Why choose meaning OR purpose, when one can just as well have both - and focusing on only either side is bound to create blindspots that inevitably will source subjectively unpleasant experiences?
You know Athena, sometimes I get the sense that your writings are actually no longer about psychopathy - but rather about self-actualization as experienced through a human lens that happens to be psychopathic in nature. Well done!
Athena, have you ever read a thing seemingly plucked whole from your own mind? I just did, to the last line. You and I are different; references to the psychopath obviously don’t apply to me, the autist. Still, it was such a satisfying moment to finish this article and think: “yasss!!…THIS!!….exactly!!”
Most appreciated!
I've read and moreover perceived that psychopaths especially of the secondary variety lead very pessimistic lives due to a dark boringness of nothingness. I know this is not true of all, but it's certainly true of my mother, a primary psychopath, and of other cluster b trait types I've met. Another friend told me “I'm just waiting to die”. On the other hand, I've met very very successful psychopaths who are present in life and seem to have goals, and the ambition to compete at an above-elite level. Somehow, though I've always gotten a vibe from them that they are constantly fighting gloom and boredom. Is there any accuracy to this in your opinions? When I wasn't able, there was always ‘caine.
This is one of your best I think. I love it.
Great answer, Athena.
Good read👍🏻
This may be the most profound article you have ever written. Very thought-provoking. Thanks!