An Excuse For Stalking

The toxic belief of Twin flames...

Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

This weekend I had the lovely occasion to come across a question that I was surprised how many people took seriously from that asker’s perspective, but didn’t evaluate what was actually being asked. This is the reason that critical thinking skills are so important, because when you lack them, this question apparently feels romantic, despite the words that are actually on paper.

What really happens when true twin flames are separated by a psychopath?

For the uninitiated, twin flames are in the same realm as indigo children. What? Haven’t heard of those either?

All right, primer time:

Every relationship has something to teach us—and twin flames are often considered the ones that will teach us the most.

Meeting your twin flame is considered by some to be the most powerful soul encounter a person can experience.

So, we asked experts how to know when you've found your twin flame, plus what to know about navigating this oftentimes tumultuous relationship and how to know if you and your twin flame are meant to be together.

A twin flame is an intense soul connection with someone thought to be a person's other half, sometimes called a "mirror soul." It's based on the idea that sometimes one soul gets split into two bodies.

One of the main characteristics of a twin flame relationship is that it will be both challenging and healing.

This is due to the mirroring nature of a twin flame; they show you your deepest insecurities, fears, and shadows.

But they also help you overcome them, and vice versa—your twin flame will be equally affected by you.

Importantly, each person is still "whole" on their own, says licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli. "There is a misnomer that a twin flame completes you," she explains. "In reality, relationships are meant to encourage you to be more complete in your own right."

“Licensed psychotherapist”, think about that while you read the rest of this post.

Also, for those wondering what the heck “Indigo Children” are,

Indigo Children are children who are believed to possess special, unusual, and sometimes supernatural traits or abilities.

I thought I should answer it since I mentioned it, but it has nothing to do with this post. What this post is about is the absolute delusional thinking that occurs around this notion of “twin flames”.

The same person asked this:

What’s the true problem with twin flames and the chasing/running dynamics?

Are you starting to notice a theme to these questions? The idea that someone is your “twin flame” according to how you are the same, you make each other “more complete” that you are meant to be with one another flies directly contrary to what the person is really asking, which is the thinking that the supposed “twin flame” is inaccessible to them either because there is someone standing in the way, such as, they are already in a relationship.

Let’s break this down in the actual language, not the fantasy, and thought process of the asker. They are asking, what do I do when the person that I am obsessed with is not interested and running away from my advances, and they are also already in a relationship with someone else. I have also determined that this “someone else” is a psychopath because they do not recognize the specialness and necessity of my relationship with the twin flame that can’t get away from me fast enough.

This person is a stalker and they are shrouding that fact in delusional language. Other questions asked:

The chasing and running issue between the twin flame couples…what are they missing…or is it that everything should be left to Divine Timing…if everything is left to Divine Timing, so what’s the job of the twin flames…?

What really tells you that that specific person is your twin flame…how do you come to know, what specifically tells you, you are in a twin flame relationship?

Twin soul connection rare?

You might think, this is a one-off. This person clearly has issues, but that’s just them. Really?

Would a twin flame cut off all contact with her twin flame counterpart?

Why would your twin flame runner deny their feelings for you?

Can your twin flame fall in love with someone else romantically?

Does the twin flame runner ever return?

Do the unawakened twin flames know that they love their twin? Do they feel the special connection with their twin flame?

Does my twin flame runner think of me as much as I think of them?

How do I communicate with my twin flame telepathically?

How do twin flame runners feel when they reject their twin flame?

What does the twin flame runner feel when the chaser finally moves on?

It goes on and on. These people believe that they have a right to another person that isn’t interested in them. They not only expect them to be, but when the other person says no, they pursue them against the other person’s will. I don’t think I have ever seen so many questions and answers justifying stalking in my life. Not only do they do so, they think that this other person that they are fixated on owes them their feelings, time, and life.

There isn’t a notion of, “wow, I have strong feelings for another person and that person isn’t interested. Going after them would be very unhealthy, so I should try to figure out how to handle this either on my own, or through therapy so I can understand why I am obsessed with someone else that does not want me around.”

Instead, there is a mindset of, “They’ll come around… eventually. I just have to chase until they give up”. It would be one thing if this was a singular person that has made up this concept and everyone else knew that it was them giving themselves an excuse to be wildly inappropriate towards another person, and needed help, but this is a whole industry that has people that should know better, “licensed psychotherapist”, are lending this sort od disordered thinking merit and credibility.

I get it, there are people that have strong connections to one another. Good for them, if it’s mutual and not toxic, I have no opinion on it. This is not that. Twin Flame Runner is a term in this community because they have spent the time constructing a completely made-up world in which they more or less own that other person regardless of their thoughts and feelings on the matter. They even go so far as to project their own behavior onto that other person:

Why do Twin Flame runners stalk the chaser?

To which the response was:

They stalk cause they want to be close to you! My Twin has been doing this on and off for over 2.5 years now. Funny thing is, he thinks I don’t know when he is doing it. Just cause they run from you, does not mean that they don’t miss you or long to be close to you. Fear is what makes them run 🏃‍♀️

That is incredible to me. How this person is able to create a narrative in their head that not only does this other person share the stalker’s feelings, but if they check up on you it is because of those feelings. Did you notice how disconnected from reality that last sentence is?

“Fear is what makes them run”.

Yes, it is, but not fear of their feelings for the stalker, but of the stalker themselves. They then try to make that out into the victim checking up on their stalker because of their clandestine emotional connection.

When someone is being stalked, finding out where their stalker is for safety reasons is normal, and can be comforting to someone that is being terrorized by an erotomaniac. For those of you who do not know what that is:

a psychiatric syndrome characterized by the delusional belief that one is loved by another person of, generally of a higher social status

This is often the issue when celebrities have stalkers that imagine entire lives with that celebrity despite never having met them and interacted with them in any way. it is literally a delusion that is in their heads. The only way that it differs from “twin flame chasers” is that one has a higher social status in the description, but as that isn’t in concrete, it’s pretty much the same thing.

What is even more telling is when one of the people who also wrote an answer to this question responded to a comment asking why the chaser stalks:

'“It's literally impossible for the runner (I'm compelled to be close to my TF) not to have/care about the soUl connection (TF).No matter how far the seperation is. I can always feel my SWEETHEARTS essence & energy close by. I really truly & utterly miss my SWEETHEART,big-time… If only she knew…deep down she probably does, may God guide us closer to the truth, ameen…

God bless…”

…What?

It is not impossible. There is a very large difference between an irresistible impulse, and an impulse not resisted. There is no “compulsion” that strips the person of responsibility. Harsh as it may sound, your emotions do not grant you special privileges. That is not how the world works. You do not have the right to another person in any way, and that includes following them around because you can’t help yourself. If you find yourself justifying this sort of behavior, you are the problem.

Let me repeat, no one owes you anything, and your emotions are not a special pass to trespass against someone else. You are not “compelled” to be with a “twin flame”, you are stalking a person and should either be remanded to a mental health facility until you stop being a danger to them, or prison because that is a crime. Either way, this is a “you” problem. The other person has nothing to do with you or your feelings, and whatever connection you believe you have is imaginary. The hubris it takes to decide for another person who they are and what they are supposed to feel for you is amazing to read.

If someone doesn’t want to be around you, deal with it. Seriously. Deal with it. That is no one else’s problem but yours. the number of times I saw people trying to give reasoning for their unreasonable behavior such as, the other person just couldn’t handle how intense everything was so they left, but they’ll come back. Or, they know that the other person feels the same way but it scares them so they keep running, was mind-numbing. It’s a community of egotists that have convinced themselves that this is normal behavior because their emotions tell them so.

It’s not, and the fact that this post had more than enough available content for me to write another five thousand words about this issue tells me that this is a widespread unhealthy way of existing. There is no justification for stalking and pretending that someone loves you because your feelings are so strong you just believe that to be the case makes you mentally unwell. Leave other people alone when they tell you to. This does not seem like something that should need to be repeated, but apparently, I was incorrect in that assumption.