"These people believe that they have a right to another person that isn’t interested in them. They not only expect them to be, but when the other person says no, they pursue them against the other person’s will." Both of my ex's were like this. I had 0 interest in either. I wanted nothing to do with them. The former was a drug addict, sex addict, who raped me and would blow up female's phones saying "I just want to grow together, you complete me, we are soul mates". The latter actually repulsed me and nothing about his personality was attractive to me. He did none of that stuff so I thought maybe he was safe and I just wasn't comfortable around a "normal" man. The *only* reason I dated either was because they were so freaking insistent. Showing up at my school, my friend's house, texting me, calling me, putting themselves in situations where only "I" magically could help, the works. It'd take 'em 3 months to convince me to be with them, the last guy even convinced me to move in with him in another 3, quit my job, and have his baby. He put on a front that he just wanted to support and love me and make all my dreams come true and we had so much in common, but after making me completely dependent on him, he switched gears and began abusing me physically, mentally, financially, and sexually. And suddenly I was freeloading, baby trapping him (he claimed I cheated and the baby wasnt even his) and an evil vindictive spiteful life-ruining bitch, despite my literally ever-present kindness and compassion and helpfulness even through his abuse. He TOLD me to quit my job and not work and then told everyone I was just using him and lazy. When he began doing the abuse to my son, despite my love and care for him, I filed for full custody and child support. I don't know why I put so much trust and faith in men like this. I didn't even know at the time I was being stalked by them and this was creepy or wrong. I just knew I felt uncomfortable and unsafe, but a part of me liked the attention and validation and felt a thrill by it. The other day the latter asked me to get back on Instagram to talk to our son, but I found out it was just his way of getting me hooked back on the app and hoping I see his posts as when I told him I wanted to get back off, "you just were on there posting for attention from me." Jesus. No. I NEVER seek attention from any human being, it isn't even in my wheelhouse. How weird. Anyways, now I know anyone who disrupts your life like that (interfering with your school, job, hobbies, friends - both did this, although I will say the former was okay with everything but me having friends and going out) and who repeatedly tries to cross the boundaries you set does not have good intentions for you. Period.
Indigo children...never heard of them. Sounds like a concept better kept to the sci fi & fantasy genre. As to twin flames, I agree with you, what you describe sounds more like a stalker scenario, which is not an ideal situation for the other person involved. I would say it may have to do with entitled attitudes, but for some it does seem to be an actual dysfunction, as in they do not seem to be able to get it into their heads that the other person really does not like them.
Perhaps that is what is going on, but you would think that the people that are supposed to be about mental health and being the best version of yourself you can be, such as a psychotherapist, would never involve themselves in something like this.
Although I am a live and let live kind of person (to do otherwise is a waste of energy for most), practicing in a field and then working against oneself by supporting philosophies that go against common sense sort of defeats the purpose of one's work. When working with mental illness, while one must acknowledge that the patient believes they see/think what they do, one must also clarify what one's own reality and that of the world at large is in order to provide an anchor of sorts. At least that is my opinion as a healthcare person myself.
We have many who subscribe to alternative belief systems that do a great job, but sometimes, these beliefs can cause a bit of a strain when dealing with mental health.
When I was a teenager this sort of thing was one of the relationship myths taught by the fundie church I attended. It was all about "God has someone for you"
I of course believed it at the time for a while. I had to figure out on my own that not only does God not have some special someone but if that were the case that mine lives in Tahiti like the song says :P
Yeah, there's such a flood of popular culture which casually re-enforces the notion that being attached to someone who is not attached to you is somehow good or magical. It makes for entertaining drama, but horrid life advice.
I do get the feeling that people are starting to push back against this kind of thing and critique it. I don't mean critiquing 'twin flames' specifically, but with glorifying stalker-level pursuit of romantic interests in pop culture in general.
For example; The lyrics for Take On Me are a little creepy if you stop and listen to them. (Pity. I love the song.)
I know the, "Every Breath", song is about a stalker, and definitely see what you mean about, "Take Me On". Why people find this sort of notion of chasing someone that isn't interesting romantic is beyond me. How other people encourage it, is also beyond me. Terrible advice, I agree.
Omg! Well, at least they are college graduates, licensed and approved by Government. BTW, your new furniture looks great. At least from out here, you know.
Yeah, I grew up with a lot of unrequited infatuation in my distant past, but now after 20 years of marriage, it is abundantly clear how "troubled" such a person is. Now I am a devout Christian myself and I did get married in my church really against the odds at the time.
Such a person who is looking for others to make them whole in a desperate way like this needs to rewind the tape and understand what false assumptions they are making when meeting other people or thinking about them. I smell cluster B here ;)
Oh how I love the esoteric bullshit windmill, stirring around and dispensing the same cow dung each and every moment.(Heftily sorry for the swearing)
Thanks for this article Athena I wondered when someone else catches this smoldering.
Indigo children is some stuff related to chakra and auras. I find thic concept amusing as it equalises a children with high skill (Mozart would be such an example) with a special soul reincarating. Basically it gives esoteric minded parents a reason to squabble about how special their child or themselve are.
Accodring to a personal model a lot of decision making of a human is related to having the fitting narrative ready. And a lot of human day to day analytics and interpretation run with a constructed world.
In so far if the constructed world does provide or support a narrative then it is well usefull for decision making. A match made in heaven.;)
Now that doesn't mean it has to be that way, it is overal just a very simple model.
And I won't claim it to be right, it is just bothersome that sometimes reality and as explanation the model above I constructed seem to work.
Deciding you’re THE ONE (like Neo: a Love Savior) for someone, with caring about the other’s wants & desires taking second place - if at all) is pure ego. Accepting this is a necessary rite of passage for any NT striving for adulthood and actual caring for the other person. The alternative is inconsiderate and just bad for.the other person. And yourself, too, since you’re shackling your life and your self-esteem to another.
I didn’t mean Neo literally, just the concept of him as an icon of salvation that people seem to self-appoint themselves as being for another or, in some cases, others in general.
When it becomes about being a hero rather than simply offering to help or being available then it’s ego, and it’s another version of SJWism. If someone finds him or herself hurt or bristling when their help is politely declined or outright rejected it’s a warning sign that the ‘cause’ is about you being on the white horse rather than actually trying to help.
Craziness. That's a lot of super imposed justification in order to stalk a person LOL The whole twin flame things sounds rather silly to me. Of course talk of souls and other worldly connection also feels shaky to my personal beliefs. Most things that I can neither define analytically or have actual proof over the conjecture of 'belief' is an anomaly that I have a hard time swallowing.
"These people believe that they have a right to another person that isn’t interested in them. They not only expect them to be, but when the other person says no, they pursue them against the other person’s will." Both of my ex's were like this. I had 0 interest in either. I wanted nothing to do with them. The former was a drug addict, sex addict, who raped me and would blow up female's phones saying "I just want to grow together, you complete me, we are soul mates". The latter actually repulsed me and nothing about his personality was attractive to me. He did none of that stuff so I thought maybe he was safe and I just wasn't comfortable around a "normal" man. The *only* reason I dated either was because they were so freaking insistent. Showing up at my school, my friend's house, texting me, calling me, putting themselves in situations where only "I" magically could help, the works. It'd take 'em 3 months to convince me to be with them, the last guy even convinced me to move in with him in another 3, quit my job, and have his baby. He put on a front that he just wanted to support and love me and make all my dreams come true and we had so much in common, but after making me completely dependent on him, he switched gears and began abusing me physically, mentally, financially, and sexually. And suddenly I was freeloading, baby trapping him (he claimed I cheated and the baby wasnt even his) and an evil vindictive spiteful life-ruining bitch, despite my literally ever-present kindness and compassion and helpfulness even through his abuse. He TOLD me to quit my job and not work and then told everyone I was just using him and lazy. When he began doing the abuse to my son, despite my love and care for him, I filed for full custody and child support. I don't know why I put so much trust and faith in men like this. I didn't even know at the time I was being stalked by them and this was creepy or wrong. I just knew I felt uncomfortable and unsafe, but a part of me liked the attention and validation and felt a thrill by it. The other day the latter asked me to get back on Instagram to talk to our son, but I found out it was just his way of getting me hooked back on the app and hoping I see his posts as when I told him I wanted to get back off, "you just were on there posting for attention from me." Jesus. No. I NEVER seek attention from any human being, it isn't even in my wheelhouse. How weird. Anyways, now I know anyone who disrupts your life like that (interfering with your school, job, hobbies, friends - both did this, although I will say the former was okay with everything but me having friends and going out) and who repeatedly tries to cross the boundaries you set does not have good intentions for you. Period.
Indeed true
Indigo children...never heard of them. Sounds like a concept better kept to the sci fi & fantasy genre. As to twin flames, I agree with you, what you describe sounds more like a stalker scenario, which is not an ideal situation for the other person involved. I would say it may have to do with entitled attitudes, but for some it does seem to be an actual dysfunction, as in they do not seem to be able to get it into their heads that the other person really does not like them.
Perhaps that is what is going on, but you would think that the people that are supposed to be about mental health and being the best version of yourself you can be, such as a psychotherapist, would never involve themselves in something like this.
Although I am a live and let live kind of person (to do otherwise is a waste of energy for most), practicing in a field and then working against oneself by supporting philosophies that go against common sense sort of defeats the purpose of one's work. When working with mental illness, while one must acknowledge that the patient believes they see/think what they do, one must also clarify what one's own reality and that of the world at large is in order to provide an anchor of sorts. At least that is my opinion as a healthcare person myself.
We have many who subscribe to alternative belief systems that do a great job, but sometimes, these beliefs can cause a bit of a strain when dealing with mental health.
When I was a teenager this sort of thing was one of the relationship myths taught by the fundie church I attended. It was all about "God has someone for you"
I of course believed it at the time for a while. I had to figure out on my own that not only does God not have some special someone but if that were the case that mine lives in Tahiti like the song says :P
Yeah, there's such a flood of popular culture which casually re-enforces the notion that being attached to someone who is not attached to you is somehow good or magical. It makes for entertaining drama, but horrid life advice.
I do get the feeling that people are starting to push back against this kind of thing and critique it. I don't mean critiquing 'twin flames' specifically, but with glorifying stalker-level pursuit of romantic interests in pop culture in general.
For example; The lyrics for Take On Me are a little creepy if you stop and listen to them. (Pity. I love the song.)
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=take+on+me+lyrics
I'll Be Watching You might also count, but I've always assumed that was supposed to be creepy. Some days, I'm not certain.
https://genius.com/The-police-every-breath-you-take-lyrics
I know the, "Every Breath", song is about a stalker, and definitely see what you mean about, "Take Me On". Why people find this sort of notion of chasing someone that isn't interesting romantic is beyond me. How other people encourage it, is also beyond me. Terrible advice, I agree.
"So, we asked experts how to know when you've found your twin flame...and 4 out of 5 recommended Trident."
Ha!
Omg! Well, at least they are college graduates, licensed and approved by Government. BTW, your new furniture looks great. At least from out here, you know.
Lol
I feel the key word here is runner. Sounds like I good idea to work on thyself to correct anyone else from running away!
Yes, I agree.
Yeah, I grew up with a lot of unrequited infatuation in my distant past, but now after 20 years of marriage, it is abundantly clear how "troubled" such a person is. Now I am a devout Christian myself and I did get married in my church really against the odds at the time.
Such a person who is looking for others to make them whole in a desperate way like this needs to rewind the tape and understand what false assumptions they are making when meeting other people or thinking about them. I smell cluster B here ;)
Just wow!
Right?
I know people take this twin flame thing very seriously, but I didn't know it was going this far. Thanks for the article!
Oh how I love the esoteric bullshit windmill, stirring around and dispensing the same cow dung each and every moment.(Heftily sorry for the swearing)
Thanks for this article Athena I wondered when someone else catches this smoldering.
Indigo children is some stuff related to chakra and auras. I find thic concept amusing as it equalises a children with high skill (Mozart would be such an example) with a special soul reincarating. Basically it gives esoteric minded parents a reason to squabble about how special their child or themselve are.
Accodring to a personal model a lot of decision making of a human is related to having the fitting narrative ready. And a lot of human day to day analytics and interpretation run with a constructed world.
In so far if the constructed world does provide or support a narrative then it is well usefull for decision making. A match made in heaven.;)
Now that doesn't mean it has to be that way, it is overal just a very simple model.
And I won't claim it to be right, it is just bothersome that sometimes reality and as explanation the model above I constructed seem to work.
Deciding you’re THE ONE (like Neo: a Love Savior) for someone, with caring about the other’s wants & desires taking second place - if at all) is pure ego. Accepting this is a necessary rite of passage for any NT striving for adulthood and actual caring for the other person. The alternative is inconsiderate and just bad for.the other person. And yourself, too, since you’re shackling your life and your self-esteem to another.
That can never end well.
I agree, it's weird and nothing but ego.
I didn’t mean Neo literally, just the concept of him as an icon of salvation that people seem to self-appoint themselves as being for another or, in some cases, others in general.
When it becomes about being a hero rather than simply offering to help or being available then it’s ego, and it’s another version of SJWism. If someone finds him or herself hurt or bristling when their help is politely declined or outright rejected it’s a warning sign that the ‘cause’ is about you being on the white horse rather than actually trying to help.
Craziness. That's a lot of super imposed justification in order to stalk a person LOL The whole twin flame things sounds rather silly to me. Of course talk of souls and other worldly connection also feels shaky to my personal beliefs. Most things that I can neither define analytically or have actual proof over the conjecture of 'belief' is an anomaly that I have a hard time swallowing.
Agreed