Ask A Psychopath's Friend

Continued...

Clinking wine glasses

Hey guys, you are getting a post from Jess today.

Enjoy!

Mel

Jul 3

Fun topic!

What do you value most about your friendship with Athena?

Did it take you long to adjust to being around Athena when she started showing you her truer self (less masked)?

It must be interesting to be around Athena and see the different masks she displays depending on the situation/people involved.

I think I will try to answer all 3 of these as though I was having a candid conversation with you. So it will flow from one topic to another and back again. It's all intertwined. 

So much time has passed that I truly don't remember when the first time was that she actually told me she was a psychopath. Prior to that, I do remember taking mental notes, having questions about certain interactions and waited until the time felt right to ask her about them. I do remember being intrigued, and wanting to know more. I want to understand. Feeling the need to educate myself, and knowing that would be a lifetime commitment. However, I quickly learned that I would need to adjust myself, my responses, and most certainly my expectations, just as she has chosen to with me. It's funny how most people talk about the psychopath making adjustments in how they interact with the world when it really should go both ways. That's how successful relationships work. There has to be a give and take of equal proportions, or it will most likely end up in failure. Ask rather than make assumptions.

Life itself is a series of adjustments. I am ever so thankful that I got to see the other end of the stick so to speak when she felt the need to unleash the truth on someone who was being a complete ass. They are usually unprepared and have a tendency to argue with feelings/emotions, and Athena will always shut that shit down with facts. Stick to the facts. Stick to the truth. In doing so, you'll earn her respect. Trust earning is another animal entirely. She also determines whether or not someone is open to learning more, or just being a dick just to be a dick! In that case, she won't bother to waste time. I am sure you've all witnessed dick responses from those that think they know what they are talking about and that really don't. There will always be someone who thinks they know her, when they have never met or spent any length of time with her. They are usually the ones pointing a finger, not realizing there are three more pointing right back at them.

Athena has always encouraged me to ask questions. I have spent a great deal of time watching her interactions and responses to others. As an example, going shopping with her. I have noticed that people seem to be naturally drawn to her. There's the blatant, drawn out stare following her across the room when she enters. I am not exaggerating when I say I have seen people just stop in their tracks to watch her. In some cases, almost like they're in a trance or hypnotic state. She carries herself with confidence, and has a style that is uniquely her own. I used to get very protective, but am reminded that she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Honestly, I am still pretty protective of her when we are out together in public. Fuck with her and you are fucking with me. I have noticed that kids are really fascinated with her. They all want to be her friend, and she's actually really good with them, but I see what others don't. I see her ability to adjust to just about any given social situation, and it may require her to cycle through several different masks at once. It's not in her wheelhouse to simply respond as any NT would. It's not how she's wired. She's learned acceptable responses and tries to act accordingly in various situations. She doesn't necessarily respond because she wants to, but rather because she has learned that that is what is expected in the "normal NT realm". Because it is the right thing to do. 

What do I value most about my friendship with Athena? That is a long list. I value her intellect. She's smart and articulate. She is constantly educating herself and evolving. 

Integrity. Doing the right thing solely because it's the right thing to do.

Loyalty. This is self-explanatory. 

Attention to detail. As an example, she cooks everything from scratch. She does not take the shortcut or easy way out. She takes great care in what she creates, and a lot goes into her food preparations. Mainly it's for her, LOL. She prefers quality, and really puts so much into it. On a side note, we need to get her a much bigger kitchen. 

She doesn't really talk about how she feels about any one person. Instead, she shows it through her actions. 

When it comes to specific topics, she will never speak on subject matter that she doesn't know. She will tell you from the onset that that is not her field of expertise or knowledge base. When it comes to doing the deep dives, she invests time listening and learning from many different perspectives, including those which may not coincide with her own. She digs deep to get to the truth, and often calls others out when their perspectives are solely based on emotions or feelings rather than truth, studies, trials, or legit facts. Some studies and trials are rigged from the get-go in order to receive the desired outcome by the author or OP. There is so much misinformation out there regarding psychopathy. 

She's far more capable of introspection than I think she gives herself credit for, which shows to me just how much she's grown since I first met her. I admire that about her, as many NTs are incapable of being truthful with themselves. How can we possibly be honest and truthful with others if we cannot be with ourselves? 

What do I value most about my friendship with Athena?

Just about everything. I appreciate and value her honesty, even when she's being brutally honest. I have learned that if she doesn't feel there is any point, or it would be considered a waste of her time, she would prefer not to. Why should she waste precious time and energy on someone that doesn't want to listen or hear? I value her opinions on subjects I know nothing about, and she will always point me in the direction of truth. I value the time we spend together, sharing things we both enjoy.

For the most part, she's understanding and patient when I exhibit emotions that she is unable to express. We can talk all night on a variety of subjects. We may even begin to watch a show together and the next thing we know, we've paused for 2 hours, and would rather continue to engage in conversation that we both find interesting or educational. I like that we are both ok with being alone. Neither of us require constant interaction or the company of others to be happy. Independently, we are quite content when we have our alone time to enjoy. 

We did have a recent disagreement. Not really a disagreement, more like we were both tired and not feeling very well. Mask partially down, she said something to me that I really didn't appreciate. It wasn't what she said. It was how she said it. Shit happens.

A couple of days later, when I went upstairs to deliver something that had arrived for her. She immediately responded with, “You're still mad? Yeah, you're still mad” which caused me to respond with irritation at the comment and a bit of anger. I said a couple of unkind things that I really hadn't been intending on saying, but I was hoping to make a point. That point was immediately lost in translation.

About 15 minutes passed, and I thought how ridiculous I must have sounded and how stupid the whole argument was. I went back upstairs and said something to the effect of "Can we just start over and wipe the slate clean?" to which she agreed, and we went about as always. I like that about her, too. Her ability to determine that silly shit happens between friends, and what is most important. I educated her on the best way to approach me in the future, or as she put it "how to manipulate me better" LOL. I explained how just making one simple change would have been preferable to me. 

These are the thoughts I had about the questions posed to me. Please let me know if there is anything else you would like to know that I didn't cover. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have or elaborate further. I really appreciate the questions and opportunity to share with you.