I've noticed that it's not just that people don't like ambiguity but they also vigorously attempt to fit things into an existing theory. It is like someone who is trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle and if they find an odd piece rather than toss it they whittle it into a shape that fits an existing space and will paint it if necessary.
I think there are a few points being discussed here, rolled into one. The first is the importance of leaving room for ambiguity which I absolutely agree with. Saying we're 80% sure rather than 100% leaves room for learning.
As far as things being unknowable, some things we'll never know. But those are the outliers. A lot of times we invest time and attention and figure out a likely tentative pattern. "Does God exist" is hard to know. "Is prayer the most effective response to the problems in my life" is more testable. We may focus on our failures, but we have a lot of successes, too. And maybe people have trouble judging what is important. Our tribal brains easily confuse some crime that happened 100 years ago in England with something that happened down the street. Maybe this is because, in the past, if we heard a story then it was relevant to our lives. i.e. The Availabilty Heuristic. If we can recall something, then we tend to believe that it's relevant. Airplane travel is safer than driving. But crashed airplanes make the news. They're potentially more memorable. So some people are more nervous about flying than driving.
Also, there's the human tendency to bias our pattern recognition towards recognizing ambiguous patterns as 'people' rather than things. And this makes some sense. We're more likely to be helped or hurt by people than by things, so we get a little boost of attention when a pattern comes close to being a face. And people talk about 'The man in the Moon.' We see faces everywhere. This is a face;
I think it might be also the fact, that aiplane accidents seem like a more certain death, whereeas car crash seems easier to survive. And exposure could play into it too. I think that people drive more regularly than they fly and I think that those that fly often are less worried about crashes than those that don't fly often. But I do agree that memorabilty of things plays big role.
few days ago I dreamed a toddler was hugging my legs, and when I looked down, I realised it was dead. It's skin was blue and veins in the forehead were visible. I was scared by it and when the toddler reached out for another hug I shouted "get away from me!". After screaming, it sat down and started to cry.
I will never know what caused this dream. Was it a spirit? Just my imagination? I was so disturbed by it I couldn't stop thinking, them I finally realised I will never know, and it didn't hurt me, so it's better to just forget about it. No need to be scared of sleeping.
Perhaps it wanted to find its family. His crying face resembled an adult's face crying, not a toddler's. Like it's been a long time since the last affection.
Have you ever lost a child? Due to natural or artificial means? Sounds like a subconscious manifestation of a suppressed or forgotten memory. I might be wrong.
Interesting to know that you can find comfort in not knowing and that doesn't instill fear. Maybe, my brain is wired differently. I fear things even before they happen and I always assume the worst outcomes. Maybe, it's got to do with my anxiety. I want to be able to calm my brain and let the thought not take over my body and mind. This happens in daily instances like - what if I am not able to do well in my new job? What will happen then? What if I travel solo to another city and the worst thing happens to me? It's because of these thoughts that I have left behind so many things in my life that I wanted to pursue. Athena, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your writing. As a neurotypical, I find your perspectives on life very interesting and inspiring. Thanks once again
This was another interesting read. And I think I agree, especially since most mysteries are only fun for as long as they remain mysteries. If we had an answer for everything, how boring would life be? The unknown is what makes life exciting, so I think people who need an answer for literally everything are… well, not living life to the fullest, lol. Each to their own, of course. It just seems so boring to know literally everything. And sure, no one can do that, but it’s like you said, life will be more interesting without a constant drive for answers.
At the same time, though, I get why that is. When you’re curious about something, you need to know the truth, and people are wired to be curious about literally everything. It’s the biggest thing I like about humanity, that curiosity towards everything, which births all these cool branches of science from geology to psychology and astrology and whatever else. Plus, I do love facts and research. I hope to be a psychology researcher myself one day, hopefully to find out the answers to some questions I have.
But I also think that the journey to finding answers is the most rewarding part of a mystery, not the answer. It’s the imaginative part where all options are open and your curiosity gets going. And I love a good question anyway. Now, I don’t mean questions about murders and disappearances (I personally think that a lot people use those types of cases as entertainment and to get views on the expense of real victims, which is slightly iffy to me. Also I just don’t care about who kidnapped someone or who killed someone else). Rather, I mean questions like, do aliens exist? What kind of things live in the deepest depths of oceans? Are there actually many universes, and if so, what are they like and how do they work? What will humanity be like in a million years, given we survive until then?
Those kinds of ”mysteries” interest me. Maybe because I’m a writer who is constantly looking for a way to escape reality into fiction, lol, or maybe because those are rather unanswerable questions that let me go wild with speculation, feeding into my writer brain. These questions would lose their excitement the second we could say for sure that ”yes, aliens exist and this is what they look like,” or ”well here’s a photo album of every single species in the ocean, since we’ve mapped out 100% of it.” If we knew the answers, it’d be like ”Huh. Well, that’s it, then.” The magic of possibilities and imagination is over. I don’t want that.
So I think I agree with you. Just for slightly different reasons, maybe?
Don't worry, if we discover for sure aliens exist and what they look like, the excitement would not be lost. It would just lead to more questions, like "how does their biology work?" That alone would spawn whole new branches of science. I totally relate, though. I'm excited by that type of unknown, not afraid.
(The type of unknown I'm afraid of is the social one, because my stupid neurotypical brain is influenced by stupid neurotypical painful emotions when interactions go badly. Unknown = might go badly.)
I use to get into fights (sometimes literally) for answers from the people in my life who supposedly should've "had the answers." Parents, teachers, pastors, bosses, etc. I asked, "why?" a lot as a kid. I just wanted these things I was being told to be made understandable to me. Explained, verified, proven.
"How would I know if god was speaking to me? What does he sound like?"
"Why is it okay when that person does it but not me?"
"Is this task vital for this process or is this just for show?"
"Why did you push my cat off the stairwell?"
"Why didn't anyone step in to stop them?"
"When can I bring this topic up, if not now?"
It didn't work. They didn't know, so how could they tell me? The mental tidiness I was craving isn't possible. Life is messy and people often have no clue why something is the way it is, and often get angry when you point it out. Sometimes the lack of answers would get me panicky as kid. "Geesh, if even the grown-ups don't know, then what..."
This little self-destructive crusade was such a priority of mine for years (and also the cause of much unnecessary turmoil, as you explain.) But thankfully, somewhere along the way, and especially in recent years, something clicked. I realized that no one on this planet, including myself, has the actual complete, perfect answers to anything. We're all just guessing. And if you think you have the "right" guess, you're probably wrong! (Or maybe I'm wrong? Eh, who knows.) Some guesses are more educated than others, maybe, but it's all suppositions and smokescreens.
I'll never have all the answers, and now, I really don't need 'em. (At least not chronically like I used to; I still relish them when they do come.)
This chaotic unknowingness it's actually kind of fun and really sort of beautiful. Sure, maybe sometimes terrifying, but only as much as you entertain that emotion.
Once I realized this void that we're all pretending doesn't exist, exists, I felt quite free. It wasn't a giving up, it was a letting go. "I don't know. but also, you don't know." Okay, so now what? Keep living and doing your thing with that knowledge and see what happens and what you see (like you say.) It's surprisingly simple, but I guess maybe hard for most to make happen.
p.s. - A lot of chronic crime/serial killer/murder media consumption has to be just cortisol/adrenaline addiction. Humans are curiosity fueled beings but also get addicted to "spicy" brain chemicals and hormones quite a lot.
Perhaps I am just un-interested in other people enough to give a thought to "why" they act or think as they do. I invest zero time in considering even large actions including those done directly to benefit me. Perhaps I simply lack gratitude in any form.
Marie Antoinette, Vlad the Impaler and Moses, while interesting in a certain way, never rise to my consideration of their motives.
Radio waves and electricity are big pluses for humans, as is medical treatments of disease. I care how things work and am interested to learn more about history, distance galaxies, the human body, plants and nature.
Everything that I see or learn about seem to me to evidence, design, purpose and intent. Anyone living in Western countries has encountered Evangelicals informing us that "God loves us" while they simultaneously organize to defeat God's kindness to us.
Their God is heartless and distant and a control freak. Why else would they pray (to God) for their political enemies to be killed? Or their NFL team to 'win' and give thanks for the 'score'. And Chant his name on their sidelines! hehehe.
Outside of that, apart from religious context, on three separate occasions, I encountered what I conclude is "God". It is so highly personal that I don't try to convince others: Perhaps I have "faith".
The Christians appear to have scant connection to the True God (as presented in the official Holy Bible).
If they did, they would be amazed beyond words. They won't be able to express it. And not "summarize" for sure. (hahaha)
The Bible God claims, He (in English "he", in Hebrew some plural 'he' that encompasses all feminine forms of being-the Breasted One) to have spoken galaxies into existence- by his own spoken word.
My brain can't fit that inside to examine it: I can't fit it in. I don't have the "RAM" or big enough brain.
Galaxies spin on themselves, within the universe: and a being that does NOT require a biosphere did that? LOL. Sure thing. Let me put that in my brain.
If the Bible God is real, he is all encompassing, perhaps on a cellular level that no one has ever spoken of to this day.
He claims to know the thoughts and intent of our hearts. Oh, yeah? For 7 Billion people? At the same time, every second?
No Christian can answer: "How does he do that?" My brain can't fit the premise for me to even consider the question. I try but my mind can't hold it inside.
This makes "The Four Spiritual Laws" the dumbest, not funniest, fiction ever postulated- as if Man's understanding can constraint limitless God. It makes me laugh but at the absurdity.
That God, inventor of our bodies in all its complexity, presenter of his hand of friendship, must be the easiest to approach than any other god imagined.
Brings to mind a film we watched in Philosophy of Religion class..."Life After Life."
Apparently, a man who died and whose spirit flew around the countryside (he was a first-time traveler there) passed thru a local pub. There he saw ghosts stacked thick at the bar, grabbing for the drinks and smokes of the living.
Then his spirit flew back to his body in the emergency room as he was resuscitated.
There is a lesson here, I think.
Something like..."addiction is forever," or "always ask for a lid on your drinks."
Yes, a documentary. Likely Dr. Raymond Moody. He still has a website, lifeafterlife.com... he is still making media but the current crop of offerings seems to have replaced the film I saw in about 1989. Seems a tad charlatan-y.
Well I'm a puzzle person, love them. I would love to know who was sitting next to me, and why and how they got there. Is there a parallel universe?
Scientists search for answers all the time, without this curiosity would we know what we know? Probably not.
I don't see needing answers as a bad thing. I do think that just filling in the blanks without proof to be kinda foolish though. I think people do this because it somehow makes them feel better or maybe smarter, could be an ego thing.
When I was as young as 11, I wanted to be an Anthropologist, so I could study cultures to try and find out why people are like they are. I read also interested in fossils and life that no longer exists.
All me why, people,, because I never really understood why they do the things they do and yet I had to coexist with them and doing so had me a bit bewildered and uncomfortable.
However my curiosity about fossils and life before humans.... I have no idea why I found so intriguing.
Oh I could go on about my wonderings for days.
The day to days off my life took a different turn and the distress of pains not caused by my own doing took over my brain for so long, that I never realized my dream or rather my desire for answers.
I did manage to study psychology for a while, and still have an interest in all the why's, and how's and what ifs. However I remain open minded, I search for answers but I have to often accept the findings that others provide.
I find Athena to be very interesting and I love the first hand account of what it's like for her to be different then I . I love that she has put in the research that she shares with us to answer the many questions that stream through my brain.
Again I love puzzles, but I would never cut a piece to fit, even if it was the last one and it didn't fit, because that's not really finding the answer, and that puzzle is incomplete? Then so be it. I have to accept that and go the next one.
There isn't an issue with wanting answers, the problem arises when the answers cannot be known, but the question is obsessed over with there being no possible positive outcome.
As for the person next to you on the couch, they may well have the same questions regarding you, but are in the same position of not having an answer. Or, perhaps they do know. Perhaps they have already died, didn't think that they would be seen, and just wanted to binge that show with you because they are hooked.
The answer to the person on the couch may lay somewhere in quantum physics, but I think there is an answer, however I am no scientist so I'm not qualified to answer those questions.
See, I think every question can be answered, in time. However not everyone is capable of finding those answers, or sometimes humans just aren't advanced enough 'yet' to do so.
I also agree that the average person should refrain from trying to answers questions that are beyond their limitations.
Still waiting for that Oooo, creepy vibe ....... wait... oh? ..... nope false alarm. Interesting histories.
If there is a ghost or a spirit anywhere near me I would definitely hear it or see it. I did see a condensation looking cloud float by me once in my old kitchen, thought it might have been one of the cats that had died. I’ll never know. Don’t really care.
Haven’t ever seen a ghost, ufo, or anything that ever shocked me. Probably saw to much craziness as a kid. No joke.
Fear of the unknown, while not always logical in it's application does make sense from an evolutionary perspective. Sure that rustling in the trees could be a deer, or it could be a person from a rival tribe wanting to kidnap/murder you. Those new berries no one has ever seen before? They could be a potential new food source or they could be poisonous. News of an entire family being murdered is more likely than not something you have to worry about since you live in a tight nit community of around 50 to 150 individuals and you could be next.
The problem with modern society is that with the internet, news travels across the globe instantly so news of an entire family being murdered in Hong Kong while you live in Brazil will reach you and you will still react as if that murderer can reach you.
Humans, with our large brains compared to most other animals, have wild imaginations and will assign intent to situations that don't have intent, supernatural explanations when we can't think of natural ones, and generally fill in the gaps when we can't explain something.
If I were to meander a guess as to why we do this it would have to be because usually to solve a problem we have to first understand the problem, and when we can't understand, we create an explanation so we feel like we have control of the situation, because what we don't know can and will hurt us.
On a separate note: The Fear of Death. Is usually a misnomer. We usually mean the worry and anxiety of Death. But I want to talk about actual Fear, when death is staring you in the face.
I'd been toying with the idea that this primal fear of death is the main thing that keeps people alive. But then I read this and turn my mind to psychopaths and the obvious question arises: What keeps you alive in this situation, Athena? Is there some survival instinct that kicks in, separate from the emotion of fear? Or is it purely by luck or rational thinking that you've managed to not die when dangerous situations arise?
Cuz definitely luck for me. Not that I don't feel fear; it just often doesn't kick in until the last moment when its too late. I've heard you talk about cognitive fear, but that is rarely effective for me. No way can it stand up against excitement or fascination.
I think there is definitely something to it being one of major ir the major component of us staying alive.
I thought I do not fear death and then I got up close, I was certain and I saw it coming and there was plenty of dread, my heartbeat went up.
Fear of pain, of other risks beside actual death, of possible unpleasant after, but surprisingly strongly of the very blinking out into nothing despite liking it in theory. In theory, in fantasy the subject observing it actually doesn't disappear, but the it viscerally hit me there would be that and somehow it shook me. Interestingly after my narrow escape there was this small chance that I might succumb to the aftermath, at least that's how I understood the situation, but there wasn't fear anymore. And not sure if larger role was painkillers, the previous tangle of other fears which preceded the event passing (nothing left to botch anymore), or some physiological reaction to severe injury, but I was less afraid after the injury and before passing out on surgical table than before the injury.
Interestingly some time later thinking back to the reality of dying - the if I were to die now - could give this physical tension that my body and kinda mind too pretty much wanted to escape. Now actuality of it has become distant again.
And it is not traumatic in nature. I am not bothered by the memory, I am not bothered by going to the place of the event, I did not grieve (I grieved in past some other complication abd this new one didn't feel like much changed), I adapted to the physical consequence pretty easily. Which I think is helped by deliberateness of it all. There is no sense of injustice and helplessness. It did not happen to me. I did what I did.
Other times something was over before I could react and so I skipped getting afraid. Or there was stuff that merely intrigued me.
I can also report experiencing slight chill as I saw that photo of a person next to a person on a screen. Horror movies kicked in the moment of being revealed is the moment after which attack comes. Which is a trope, jumpscare, but the concept exists and yeah... Plus the whole evolutionary caution around other alive things and sudden movement in close vicinity.
We are machines engineered by millions of years of evolution to survive. One way we survive is with knowledge. Knowledge is power, or more specifically, control. Likewise, humans survived by planning ahead for threats. But when we have insufficient knowledge, our brains may try to plan for every possible outcome. But there are simply too many. So now, instead of being prepared for one fear, your dealing with thousands of fears inside your own mind.
If you can't put it under a microscope or inside a test tube it doesn't exist. That may or may not be true, but if you can't tell whether something exists or not, it might as well not exist. If you notice yourself worrying, take a step back and think about whether your planning is actually possible with your current knowledge and the number of possible scenarios.
I say all this, but I rarely plan ahead anyway, so this comes from only a handful of experiences I can remember worrying.
"It's fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that-it's all illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it's unknown and it's plain sailing. Everything is unknown-then you're ahead of the game. That's what it is. Right?" -John Lennon
I've experienced similar things to the knocking on the walls, and the voice saying Meow.
I was living in Spain when the knocking happened. The property was a small finca which was fenced and walled off. It happened immediately after a little mental exercise I do in all my new houses. First I put my art on the walls. Then I visualize golden energy from the crown flowing out and filling the house. It's my way of putting my own stamp on a house and claiming it as my current home. It doesn't usually result in knocking but on that occasion it did. There were three large blows on three of the walls in quick succession. To make that sound it would have taken a human with a large concrete mallet and superspeed to wizz around the house. We ran outside, but there was no-one there. I put it down to a case of accidental exorcism, but I don't really know what happened.
The voice - I was actually making a recording when that happened, and I uploaded it to Youtube:
I was staying at a farm with my grandparents, and the farmers had separated the mothers from their lambs, and they were bleating all night. So, I was recording this sad cacophony in my bedroom and reflecting on the way humans dismiss the bond between animals and their young, when it sounded like one of the sheep said "My Love."
I do accept the weirdness of life and you're right. It totally makes things more interesting. :-)
It is more because of self preservation than anything else. Like you said, everyone in the farm was bludgeoned to death. It is not a pleasant experience, so it makes sense that people will try to avoid that particular fate anyhow. That is why if I find a solid stick sitting next to me when I am otherwise alone, it would make sense to me if I absolutely freak out, because what are the chances that it is not a malevolent entity looking to harm me?
As for being afraid of death, I think it's because people are afraid of where they will be sorted after ( heaven or hell) . Most people fall in the grey area between good and evil, so they have no idea if they have enough good deeds for a blissful afterlife. It's scary that no amount of money, influence or excuses will help them. This is why people want to avoid Judgement Day for as long as possible.
Kind of like a test you have not studied for , and it is too late to do anything about it. You would try to avoid taking it in the first place , and be afraid of the results too.
I've noticed that it's not just that people don't like ambiguity but they also vigorously attempt to fit things into an existing theory. It is like someone who is trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle and if they find an odd piece rather than toss it they whittle it into a shape that fits an existing space and will paint it if necessary.
I think there are a few points being discussed here, rolled into one. The first is the importance of leaving room for ambiguity which I absolutely agree with. Saying we're 80% sure rather than 100% leaves room for learning.
As far as things being unknowable, some things we'll never know. But those are the outliers. A lot of times we invest time and attention and figure out a likely tentative pattern. "Does God exist" is hard to know. "Is prayer the most effective response to the problems in my life" is more testable. We may focus on our failures, but we have a lot of successes, too. And maybe people have trouble judging what is important. Our tribal brains easily confuse some crime that happened 100 years ago in England with something that happened down the street. Maybe this is because, in the past, if we heard a story then it was relevant to our lives. i.e. The Availabilty Heuristic. If we can recall something, then we tend to believe that it's relevant. Airplane travel is safer than driving. But crashed airplanes make the news. They're potentially more memorable. So some people are more nervous about flying than driving.
Also, there's the human tendency to bias our pattern recognition towards recognizing ambiguous patterns as 'people' rather than things. And this makes some sense. We're more likely to be helped or hurt by people than by things, so we get a little boost of attention when a pattern comes close to being a face. And people talk about 'The man in the Moon.' We see faces everywhere. This is a face;
:-)
Two dots and two lines, that's all it takes.
I think it might be also the fact, that aiplane accidents seem like a more certain death, whereeas car crash seems easier to survive. And exposure could play into it too. I think that people drive more regularly than they fly and I think that those that fly often are less worried about crashes than those that don't fly often. But I do agree that memorabilty of things plays big role.
few days ago I dreamed a toddler was hugging my legs, and when I looked down, I realised it was dead. It's skin was blue and veins in the forehead were visible. I was scared by it and when the toddler reached out for another hug I shouted "get away from me!". After screaming, it sat down and started to cry.
I will never know what caused this dream. Was it a spirit? Just my imagination? I was so disturbed by it I couldn't stop thinking, them I finally realised I will never know, and it didn't hurt me, so it's better to just forget about it. No need to be scared of sleeping.
I would be so intrigued as to what it was and what it wanted.
Perhaps it wanted to find its family. His crying face resembled an adult's face crying, not a toddler's. Like it's been a long time since the last affection.
Well, hopefully it found resolution
Have you ever lost a child? Due to natural or artificial means? Sounds like a subconscious manifestation of a suppressed or forgotten memory. I might be wrong.
That's the first thing I look at but no, I have never gotten pregnant neither had any children. Very intriguing, isn't it?
Interesting to know that you can find comfort in not knowing and that doesn't instill fear. Maybe, my brain is wired differently. I fear things even before they happen and I always assume the worst outcomes. Maybe, it's got to do with my anxiety. I want to be able to calm my brain and let the thought not take over my body and mind. This happens in daily instances like - what if I am not able to do well in my new job? What will happen then? What if I travel solo to another city and the worst thing happens to me? It's because of these thoughts that I have left behind so many things in my life that I wanted to pursue. Athena, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your writing. As a neurotypical, I find your perspectives on life very interesting and inspiring. Thanks once again
That's very kind of you, I'm glad you enjoy it.
True. Anxiety makes us scared of things that didn't even happen.
This was another interesting read. And I think I agree, especially since most mysteries are only fun for as long as they remain mysteries. If we had an answer for everything, how boring would life be? The unknown is what makes life exciting, so I think people who need an answer for literally everything are… well, not living life to the fullest, lol. Each to their own, of course. It just seems so boring to know literally everything. And sure, no one can do that, but it’s like you said, life will be more interesting without a constant drive for answers.
At the same time, though, I get why that is. When you’re curious about something, you need to know the truth, and people are wired to be curious about literally everything. It’s the biggest thing I like about humanity, that curiosity towards everything, which births all these cool branches of science from geology to psychology and astrology and whatever else. Plus, I do love facts and research. I hope to be a psychology researcher myself one day, hopefully to find out the answers to some questions I have.
But I also think that the journey to finding answers is the most rewarding part of a mystery, not the answer. It’s the imaginative part where all options are open and your curiosity gets going. And I love a good question anyway. Now, I don’t mean questions about murders and disappearances (I personally think that a lot people use those types of cases as entertainment and to get views on the expense of real victims, which is slightly iffy to me. Also I just don’t care about who kidnapped someone or who killed someone else). Rather, I mean questions like, do aliens exist? What kind of things live in the deepest depths of oceans? Are there actually many universes, and if so, what are they like and how do they work? What will humanity be like in a million years, given we survive until then?
Those kinds of ”mysteries” interest me. Maybe because I’m a writer who is constantly looking for a way to escape reality into fiction, lol, or maybe because those are rather unanswerable questions that let me go wild with speculation, feeding into my writer brain. These questions would lose their excitement the second we could say for sure that ”yes, aliens exist and this is what they look like,” or ”well here’s a photo album of every single species in the ocean, since we’ve mapped out 100% of it.” If we knew the answers, it’d be like ”Huh. Well, that’s it, then.” The magic of possibilities and imagination is over. I don’t want that.
So I think I agree with you. Just for slightly different reasons, maybe?
Don't worry, if we discover for sure aliens exist and what they look like, the excitement would not be lost. It would just lead to more questions, like "how does their biology work?" That alone would spawn whole new branches of science. I totally relate, though. I'm excited by that type of unknown, not afraid.
(The type of unknown I'm afraid of is the social one, because my stupid neurotypical brain is influenced by stupid neurotypical painful emotions when interactions go badly. Unknown = might go badly.)
Fair enough
I use to get into fights (sometimes literally) for answers from the people in my life who supposedly should've "had the answers." Parents, teachers, pastors, bosses, etc. I asked, "why?" a lot as a kid. I just wanted these things I was being told to be made understandable to me. Explained, verified, proven.
"How would I know if god was speaking to me? What does he sound like?"
"Why is it okay when that person does it but not me?"
"Is this task vital for this process or is this just for show?"
"Why did you push my cat off the stairwell?"
"Why didn't anyone step in to stop them?"
"When can I bring this topic up, if not now?"
It didn't work. They didn't know, so how could they tell me? The mental tidiness I was craving isn't possible. Life is messy and people often have no clue why something is the way it is, and often get angry when you point it out. Sometimes the lack of answers would get me panicky as kid. "Geesh, if even the grown-ups don't know, then what..."
This little self-destructive crusade was such a priority of mine for years (and also the cause of much unnecessary turmoil, as you explain.) But thankfully, somewhere along the way, and especially in recent years, something clicked. I realized that no one on this planet, including myself, has the actual complete, perfect answers to anything. We're all just guessing. And if you think you have the "right" guess, you're probably wrong! (Or maybe I'm wrong? Eh, who knows.) Some guesses are more educated than others, maybe, but it's all suppositions and smokescreens.
I'll never have all the answers, and now, I really don't need 'em. (At least not chronically like I used to; I still relish them when they do come.)
This chaotic unknowingness it's actually kind of fun and really sort of beautiful. Sure, maybe sometimes terrifying, but only as much as you entertain that emotion.
Once I realized this void that we're all pretending doesn't exist, exists, I felt quite free. It wasn't a giving up, it was a letting go. "I don't know. but also, you don't know." Okay, so now what? Keep living and doing your thing with that knowledge and see what happens and what you see (like you say.) It's surprisingly simple, but I guess maybe hard for most to make happen.
p.s. - A lot of chronic crime/serial killer/murder media consumption has to be just cortisol/adrenaline addiction. Humans are curiosity fueled beings but also get addicted to "spicy" brain chemicals and hormones quite a lot.
Spicy brain chemicals. That is quite an interesting description.
Perhaps I am just un-interested in other people enough to give a thought to "why" they act or think as they do. I invest zero time in considering even large actions including those done directly to benefit me. Perhaps I simply lack gratitude in any form.
Marie Antoinette, Vlad the Impaler and Moses, while interesting in a certain way, never rise to my consideration of their motives.
Radio waves and electricity are big pluses for humans, as is medical treatments of disease. I care how things work and am interested to learn more about history, distance galaxies, the human body, plants and nature.
Everything that I see or learn about seem to me to evidence, design, purpose and intent. Anyone living in Western countries has encountered Evangelicals informing us that "God loves us" while they simultaneously organize to defeat God's kindness to us.
Their God is heartless and distant and a control freak. Why else would they pray (to God) for their political enemies to be killed? Or their NFL team to 'win' and give thanks for the 'score'. And Chant his name on their sidelines! hehehe.
Outside of that, apart from religious context, on three separate occasions, I encountered what I conclude is "God". It is so highly personal that I don't try to convince others: Perhaps I have "faith".
The Christians appear to have scant connection to the True God (as presented in the official Holy Bible).
If they did, they would be amazed beyond words. They won't be able to express it. And not "summarize" for sure. (hahaha)
The Bible God claims, He (in English "he", in Hebrew some plural 'he' that encompasses all feminine forms of being-the Breasted One) to have spoken galaxies into existence- by his own spoken word.
My brain can't fit that inside to examine it: I can't fit it in. I don't have the "RAM" or big enough brain.
Galaxies spin on themselves, within the universe: and a being that does NOT require a biosphere did that? LOL. Sure thing. Let me put that in my brain.
If the Bible God is real, he is all encompassing, perhaps on a cellular level that no one has ever spoken of to this day.
He claims to know the thoughts and intent of our hearts. Oh, yeah? For 7 Billion people? At the same time, every second?
No Christian can answer: "How does he do that?" My brain can't fit the premise for me to even consider the question. I try but my mind can't hold it inside.
This makes "The Four Spiritual Laws" the dumbest, not funniest, fiction ever postulated- as if Man's understanding can constraint limitless God. It makes me laugh but at the absurdity.
That God, inventor of our bodies in all its complexity, presenter of his hand of friendship, must be the easiest to approach than any other god imagined.
"Chances are, it just wants to watch TV."
😆
Brings to mind a film we watched in Philosophy of Religion class..."Life After Life."
Apparently, a man who died and whose spirit flew around the countryside (he was a first-time traveler there) passed thru a local pub. There he saw ghosts stacked thick at the bar, grabbing for the drinks and smokes of the living.
Then his spirit flew back to his body in the emergency room as he was resuscitated.
There is a lesson here, I think.
Something like..."addiction is forever," or "always ask for a lid on your drinks."
That is a fascinating story. Was it a documentary? If so, I am probably going to have to find it.
Yes, a documentary. Likely Dr. Raymond Moody. He still has a website, lifeafterlife.com... he is still making media but the current crop of offerings seems to have replaced the film I saw in about 1989. Seems a tad charlatan-y.
There are a lot of people like that it seems.
Well I'm a puzzle person, love them. I would love to know who was sitting next to me, and why and how they got there. Is there a parallel universe?
Scientists search for answers all the time, without this curiosity would we know what we know? Probably not.
I don't see needing answers as a bad thing. I do think that just filling in the blanks without proof to be kinda foolish though. I think people do this because it somehow makes them feel better or maybe smarter, could be an ego thing.
When I was as young as 11, I wanted to be an Anthropologist, so I could study cultures to try and find out why people are like they are. I read also interested in fossils and life that no longer exists.
All me why, people,, because I never really understood why they do the things they do and yet I had to coexist with them and doing so had me a bit bewildered and uncomfortable.
However my curiosity about fossils and life before humans.... I have no idea why I found so intriguing.
Oh I could go on about my wonderings for days.
The day to days off my life took a different turn and the distress of pains not caused by my own doing took over my brain for so long, that I never realized my dream or rather my desire for answers.
I did manage to study psychology for a while, and still have an interest in all the why's, and how's and what ifs. However I remain open minded, I search for answers but I have to often accept the findings that others provide.
I find Athena to be very interesting and I love the first hand account of what it's like for her to be different then I . I love that she has put in the research that she shares with us to answer the many questions that stream through my brain.
Again I love puzzles, but I would never cut a piece to fit, even if it was the last one and it didn't fit, because that's not really finding the answer, and that puzzle is incomplete? Then so be it. I have to accept that and go the next one.
There isn't an issue with wanting answers, the problem arises when the answers cannot be known, but the question is obsessed over with there being no possible positive outcome.
As for the person next to you on the couch, they may well have the same questions regarding you, but are in the same position of not having an answer. Or, perhaps they do know. Perhaps they have already died, didn't think that they would be seen, and just wanted to binge that show with you because they are hooked.
The answer to the person on the couch may lay somewhere in quantum physics, but I think there is an answer, however I am no scientist so I'm not qualified to answer those questions.
See, I think every question can be answered, in time. However not everyone is capable of finding those answers, or sometimes humans just aren't advanced enough 'yet' to do so.
I also agree that the average person should refrain from trying to answers questions that are beyond their limitations.
Sorry about the typos, I hit post b4 proof reading, lol
Still waiting for that Oooo, creepy vibe ....... wait... oh? ..... nope false alarm. Interesting histories.
If there is a ghost or a spirit anywhere near me I would definitely hear it or see it. I did see a condensation looking cloud float by me once in my old kitchen, thought it might have been one of the cats that had died. I’ll never know. Don’t really care.
Haven’t ever seen a ghost, ufo, or anything that ever shocked me. Probably saw to much craziness as a kid. No joke.
Thanks for the read 👍🏻
Fear of the unknown, while not always logical in it's application does make sense from an evolutionary perspective. Sure that rustling in the trees could be a deer, or it could be a person from a rival tribe wanting to kidnap/murder you. Those new berries no one has ever seen before? They could be a potential new food source or they could be poisonous. News of an entire family being murdered is more likely than not something you have to worry about since you live in a tight nit community of around 50 to 150 individuals and you could be next.
The problem with modern society is that with the internet, news travels across the globe instantly so news of an entire family being murdered in Hong Kong while you live in Brazil will reach you and you will still react as if that murderer can reach you.
Humans, with our large brains compared to most other animals, have wild imaginations and will assign intent to situations that don't have intent, supernatural explanations when we can't think of natural ones, and generally fill in the gaps when we can't explain something.
If I were to meander a guess as to why we do this it would have to be because usually to solve a problem we have to first understand the problem, and when we can't understand, we create an explanation so we feel like we have control of the situation, because what we don't know can and will hurt us.
On a separate note: The Fear of Death. Is usually a misnomer. We usually mean the worry and anxiety of Death. But I want to talk about actual Fear, when death is staring you in the face.
I'd been toying with the idea that this primal fear of death is the main thing that keeps people alive. But then I read this and turn my mind to psychopaths and the obvious question arises: What keeps you alive in this situation, Athena? Is there some survival instinct that kicks in, separate from the emotion of fear? Or is it purely by luck or rational thinking that you've managed to not die when dangerous situations arise?
Cuz definitely luck for me. Not that I don't feel fear; it just often doesn't kick in until the last moment when its too late. I've heard you talk about cognitive fear, but that is rarely effective for me. No way can it stand up against excitement or fascination.
I think there is definitely something to it being one of major ir the major component of us staying alive.
I thought I do not fear death and then I got up close, I was certain and I saw it coming and there was plenty of dread, my heartbeat went up.
Fear of pain, of other risks beside actual death, of possible unpleasant after, but surprisingly strongly of the very blinking out into nothing despite liking it in theory. In theory, in fantasy the subject observing it actually doesn't disappear, but the it viscerally hit me there would be that and somehow it shook me. Interestingly after my narrow escape there was this small chance that I might succumb to the aftermath, at least that's how I understood the situation, but there wasn't fear anymore. And not sure if larger role was painkillers, the previous tangle of other fears which preceded the event passing (nothing left to botch anymore), or some physiological reaction to severe injury, but I was less afraid after the injury and before passing out on surgical table than before the injury.
Interestingly some time later thinking back to the reality of dying - the if I were to die now - could give this physical tension that my body and kinda mind too pretty much wanted to escape. Now actuality of it has become distant again.
And it is not traumatic in nature. I am not bothered by the memory, I am not bothered by going to the place of the event, I did not grieve (I grieved in past some other complication abd this new one didn't feel like much changed), I adapted to the physical consequence pretty easily. Which I think is helped by deliberateness of it all. There is no sense of injustice and helplessness. It did not happen to me. I did what I did.
Other times something was over before I could react and so I skipped getting afraid. Or there was stuff that merely intrigued me.
I can also report experiencing slight chill as I saw that photo of a person next to a person on a screen. Horror movies kicked in the moment of being revealed is the moment after which attack comes. Which is a trope, jumpscare, but the concept exists and yeah... Plus the whole evolutionary caution around other alive things and sudden movement in close vicinity.
I totally understand that
We are machines engineered by millions of years of evolution to survive. One way we survive is with knowledge. Knowledge is power, or more specifically, control. Likewise, humans survived by planning ahead for threats. But when we have insufficient knowledge, our brains may try to plan for every possible outcome. But there are simply too many. So now, instead of being prepared for one fear, your dealing with thousands of fears inside your own mind.
If you can't put it under a microscope or inside a test tube it doesn't exist. That may or may not be true, but if you can't tell whether something exists or not, it might as well not exist. If you notice yourself worrying, take a step back and think about whether your planning is actually possible with your current knowledge and the number of possible scenarios.
I say all this, but I rarely plan ahead anyway, so this comes from only a handful of experiences I can remember worrying.
"It's fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that-it's all illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it's unknown and it's plain sailing. Everything is unknown-then you're ahead of the game. That's what it is. Right?" -John Lennon
I've experienced similar things to the knocking on the walls, and the voice saying Meow.
I was living in Spain when the knocking happened. The property was a small finca which was fenced and walled off. It happened immediately after a little mental exercise I do in all my new houses. First I put my art on the walls. Then I visualize golden energy from the crown flowing out and filling the house. It's my way of putting my own stamp on a house and claiming it as my current home. It doesn't usually result in knocking but on that occasion it did. There were three large blows on three of the walls in quick succession. To make that sound it would have taken a human with a large concrete mallet and superspeed to wizz around the house. We ran outside, but there was no-one there. I put it down to a case of accidental exorcism, but I don't really know what happened.
The voice - I was actually making a recording when that happened, and I uploaded it to Youtube:
https://youtu.be/xV2jfDmBUFY
I was staying at a farm with my grandparents, and the farmers had separated the mothers from their lambs, and they were bleating all night. So, I was recording this sad cacophony in my bedroom and reflecting on the way humans dismiss the bond between animals and their young, when it sounded like one of the sheep said "My Love."
I do accept the weirdness of life and you're right. It totally makes things more interesting. :-)
It is more because of self preservation than anything else. Like you said, everyone in the farm was bludgeoned to death. It is not a pleasant experience, so it makes sense that people will try to avoid that particular fate anyhow. That is why if I find a solid stick sitting next to me when I am otherwise alone, it would make sense to me if I absolutely freak out, because what are the chances that it is not a malevolent entity looking to harm me?
As for being afraid of death, I think it's because people are afraid of where they will be sorted after ( heaven or hell) . Most people fall in the grey area between good and evil, so they have no idea if they have enough good deeds for a blissful afterlife. It's scary that no amount of money, influence or excuses will help them. This is why people want to avoid Judgement Day for as long as possible.
Kind of like a test you have not studied for , and it is too late to do anything about it. You would try to avoid taking it in the first place , and be afraid of the results too.
I would just take the test and not care about the result.
Of course, your mindset is different.