I’m just putting this comment here because it’s the newest one, but it’s really got nothing to do with this particular post.
I just wanted to thank you for writing these posts with such depth, care, and insight! I’ve been reading through everything you have for the past hour, and I can’t get enough. I started looking into psychopathy and ASPD thanks to a small writing thing, but most of what I was able to find were neurotypicals talking about the experiences and thought processes of psychopaths, which didn’t sit right with me. I mean, we wouldn’t (or shouldn’t, at least) listen to a white person talk about the experiences of people of color, or listen to a person who’s never been depressed talk about what it’s like being depressed. And thankfully, I found your blog. It’s been eye-opening and gotten me to wonder about things I’ve never really had to think about before, especially regarding empathy and morals. But that’s the beauty of listening to people so different from you. You see things in a new light, and learn new things. So seriously, thank you.
On a side note, I’d love to hear your thoughts on morals and right vs wrong, if that’s something you’re interested in talking about — unless that’s the subject of one of the few posts I still haven’t read, in which case I’ll get to it sometime later today. Since in most people, morals and our sense of right and wrong dictate how we act… I guess I’m just wondering if psychopaths have a moral compass they believe in, and how it/the lack of it affects them and their decisions and actions. I’ve always had strong morals myself, but ones I try to base off logical reasoning as much as possible — I want to be able to understand all sides of the argument and to back mine up with logic, because as long as everyone is different, emotions should never rule the world. Science, facts, and logic take no sides. Yet, the more I think about it, the more I realize how deeply emotional our morals, ethics, and human rights are, and from there, the societal rules we follow. So how does it work for someone that doesn’t feel, or feels very little, emotions such as empathy and fear? Is there a deeper sense/belief of right and wrong, or is it more like ”this is what people expect of me and this is what I’ll get in trouble for”? Why follow the moral and societal rules if we don’t believe in or care about said rules? Or is caring really not that important because logical thinking exists?
And I hope it’s clear, but unless it isn’t, I’m simply curious — no judging from my part.
Thank you for the kind words. Writing a post on morals is certainly something that I can do. I have added your suggestion to a list that I keep from my subscribers, in order to be sure to address their questions, so you will get your answers in an upcoming post, if that is all right with you. I like to take time to be able to give the best responses that I can, that go beyond just answering the basics, and delving into the thought process more completely.
Maybe they'll just be kinda loopy and chilled and Zen. Irresponsible and untouchable, but largely harmless. Or not, who knows, we have bigger troubles.....
I'm almost certain that some of the motivation for wanting to declare children to be psychopathic is the potential to prescribe various psychoactive chemicals
You and I both know that but it wouldn't stop they people who are motivated to promoting a bland, uniform society from coming up with some noxious cocktail to poison children. I'd go so far as to say that given the opportunity some would label any child who wasn't on some other drug as being a psychopath just so they could exercise control
Well written. I'm wondering if identifying psycopathy early in life may have some advantage in raising a child. Like the whole reward system verses punishment, and perhaps give parents better tools. Your parents had them naturally but a lot of people just aren't that bright, and some, well many parents have no clue how to raise a child, let alone a psychopathic one. People sometimes need this extra help.
For instance we know more about autism and how to better help these kids. Wouldn't the same apply to children with psychopathy, provided of course we get past the stigmatism?
Until the overall thinking towards psychopathy changes to a more neutral way of perceiving it, identifying it in children will just cause problems. Even a different term for it, because once it touches the notion of psychopathy, like conduct disorder does with ASPD, there is no way to remove the preconceptions about it which are almost entirely negative.
Also, it seems sort of pointless to look for it in children, since it is not all that common. Instead woking on parenting aspects that are beneficial to all children regardless of brain types. Children should be taught responsibility, delay of gratification, consequences of their actions, and cognitive empathy, not just psychopaths.
Agreed, they should, however I think most parents are not equipped to do this, as is evident by how many people are so messed up. I believe parents that need help should have somewhere to turn for help, instead of removing children from there homes. Parents shouldn't be afraid to ask for help with parenting skills likes most are now. Because they are afraid of losing their kids. That should be a last resort. In many cases though , they take the kids 1st and sometimes offer help after the kids are already in the system, which from what I've seen is mostly messed up and it's the kids that suffer for it .
So people with special needs kids, tend to get the help they need, that was my thinking, to help insure that psychopathic kids would get that. The truth is that in a perfect world all kids would have parents that do the right things, but there are tons of parents out there who just don't know what the right things are. Probably because of their own upbringing. So what should happen, very often just doesn't. Not because parents don't want to do it right, but because they don't know what that looks like and don't have anyone they trust to turn to .
Parents really aren't equipped. Even the most well intentioned ones. My own parents had absolutely no idea about what was developmentally appropriate for children. They took the view that once you can understand and produce coherent sentences (age 2-3), your behaviour would therefore follow parental instructions and be under complete control as if you were an adult. Oh my. That does not go well.....confusion, bewilderment, terror are the results.
I am optimistic that at some very distant point in the future, what you say about identifying and working with psychopathic children may happen, but we have so many steps to get through beforehand. I agree with Athena that general good parenting will meanwhile work well across the board.
Indeed, now we just have to convince parents to not give their children screens the moment that they come out of the womb. It changes how the brain works.
Hm, a good question, but I suppose I don't really think about them much, so I don't think I would say that I have more cognitive empathy towards them, more of a shrugging of my shoulders, because usually whatever they did is probably far less concerning that anything I did.
I think that they are ill educated, and that leads to both. There are a lot of conflicting issues that people aren't understanding. They don't know about the brain development stages. although that is changing some, they likely don't remember what being a teenager is actually like, and there has been a lot of permissive parents recently, so they aren't learning boundaries, and structure. There is also a society of entitlement which is a serious problem. Entitlement leads to scarcity.
I wish you luck in accepting who you were in your teenage years. Almost all of us have some cringe, and some more than that, but whatever, you had your reasons at the time, and now you are YOU NOW. If you habe the capacity to introspect now and act accordingly, all good.
Why be ashamed of who you were when you were trying to figure out the world. It isn't fair to expect to be confident and comfortable in your own skin straight out of the gate.
I’m just putting this comment here because it’s the newest one, but it’s really got nothing to do with this particular post.
I just wanted to thank you for writing these posts with such depth, care, and insight! I’ve been reading through everything you have for the past hour, and I can’t get enough. I started looking into psychopathy and ASPD thanks to a small writing thing, but most of what I was able to find were neurotypicals talking about the experiences and thought processes of psychopaths, which didn’t sit right with me. I mean, we wouldn’t (or shouldn’t, at least) listen to a white person talk about the experiences of people of color, or listen to a person who’s never been depressed talk about what it’s like being depressed. And thankfully, I found your blog. It’s been eye-opening and gotten me to wonder about things I’ve never really had to think about before, especially regarding empathy and morals. But that’s the beauty of listening to people so different from you. You see things in a new light, and learn new things. So seriously, thank you.
On a side note, I’d love to hear your thoughts on morals and right vs wrong, if that’s something you’re interested in talking about — unless that’s the subject of one of the few posts I still haven’t read, in which case I’ll get to it sometime later today. Since in most people, morals and our sense of right and wrong dictate how we act… I guess I’m just wondering if psychopaths have a moral compass they believe in, and how it/the lack of it affects them and their decisions and actions. I’ve always had strong morals myself, but ones I try to base off logical reasoning as much as possible — I want to be able to understand all sides of the argument and to back mine up with logic, because as long as everyone is different, emotions should never rule the world. Science, facts, and logic take no sides. Yet, the more I think about it, the more I realize how deeply emotional our morals, ethics, and human rights are, and from there, the societal rules we follow. So how does it work for someone that doesn’t feel, or feels very little, emotions such as empathy and fear? Is there a deeper sense/belief of right and wrong, or is it more like ”this is what people expect of me and this is what I’ll get in trouble for”? Why follow the moral and societal rules if we don’t believe in or care about said rules? Or is caring really not that important because logical thinking exists?
And I hope it’s clear, but unless it isn’t, I’m simply curious — no judging from my part.
Fiia
Welcome Fiia,
Thank you for the kind words. Writing a post on morals is certainly something that I can do. I have added your suggestion to a list that I keep from my subscribers, in order to be sure to address their questions, so you will get your answers in an upcoming post, if that is all right with you. I like to take time to be able to give the best responses that I can, that go beyond just answering the basics, and delving into the thought process more completely.
Indeed they are, and it is important to understand that uniqueness should be a source of strength.
"Whatever kindness that they develop will be unique to them, and in the beginning, a stark contrast to who they are in their first months of life."
Well thought, wonderfully said.
Thank you, Jen
“I can’t imagine what the psychopaths of this generation are going to be like.”
Oh me neither...can’t wait...can’t wait
It will likely be very interesting.
Maybe they'll just be kinda loopy and chilled and Zen. Irresponsible and untouchable, but largely harmless. Or not, who knows, we have bigger troubles.....
Being loopy, chilled, and zen like would be a good outcome, I agree.
I'm almost certain that some of the motivation for wanting to declare children to be psychopathic is the potential to prescribe various psychoactive chemicals
I would agree with that, but there aren't any that work on psychopathy.
You and I both know that but it wouldn't stop they people who are motivated to promoting a bland, uniform society from coming up with some noxious cocktail to poison children. I'd go so far as to say that given the opportunity some would label any child who wasn't on some other drug as being a psychopath just so they could exercise control
Yes, that is quite true
This delayed fear thing is something I would never have imagined, so thanks for the story.
Well written. I'm wondering if identifying psycopathy early in life may have some advantage in raising a child. Like the whole reward system verses punishment, and perhaps give parents better tools. Your parents had them naturally but a lot of people just aren't that bright, and some, well many parents have no clue how to raise a child, let alone a psychopathic one. People sometimes need this extra help.
For instance we know more about autism and how to better help these kids. Wouldn't the same apply to children with psychopathy, provided of course we get past the stigmatism?
Perhaps rename it in children.
What are your thoughts?
Until the overall thinking towards psychopathy changes to a more neutral way of perceiving it, identifying it in children will just cause problems. Even a different term for it, because once it touches the notion of psychopathy, like conduct disorder does with ASPD, there is no way to remove the preconceptions about it which are almost entirely negative.
Also, it seems sort of pointless to look for it in children, since it is not all that common. Instead woking on parenting aspects that are beneficial to all children regardless of brain types. Children should be taught responsibility, delay of gratification, consequences of their actions, and cognitive empathy, not just psychopaths.
Agreed, they should, however I think most parents are not equipped to do this, as is evident by how many people are so messed up. I believe parents that need help should have somewhere to turn for help, instead of removing children from there homes. Parents shouldn't be afraid to ask for help with parenting skills likes most are now. Because they are afraid of losing their kids. That should be a last resort. In many cases though , they take the kids 1st and sometimes offer help after the kids are already in the system, which from what I've seen is mostly messed up and it's the kids that suffer for it .
So people with special needs kids, tend to get the help they need, that was my thinking, to help insure that psychopathic kids would get that. The truth is that in a perfect world all kids would have parents that do the right things, but there are tons of parents out there who just don't know what the right things are. Probably because of their own upbringing. So what should happen, very often just doesn't. Not because parents don't want to do it right, but because they don't know what that looks like and don't have anyone they trust to turn to .
All of that I agree with.
Parents really aren't equipped. Even the most well intentioned ones. My own parents had absolutely no idea about what was developmentally appropriate for children. They took the view that once you can understand and produce coherent sentences (age 2-3), your behaviour would therefore follow parental instructions and be under complete control as if you were an adult. Oh my. That does not go well.....confusion, bewilderment, terror are the results.
I am optimistic that at some very distant point in the future, what you say about identifying and working with psychopathic children may happen, but we have so many steps to get through beforehand. I agree with Athena that general good parenting will meanwhile work well across the board.
Indeed, now we just have to convince parents to not give their children screens the moment that they come out of the womb. It changes how the brain works.
Hm, a good question, but I suppose I don't really think about them much, so I don't think I would say that I have more cognitive empathy towards them, more of a shrugging of my shoulders, because usually whatever they did is probably far less concerning that anything I did.
I think that they are ill educated, and that leads to both. There are a lot of conflicting issues that people aren't understanding. They don't know about the brain development stages. although that is changing some, they likely don't remember what being a teenager is actually like, and there has been a lot of permissive parents recently, so they aren't learning boundaries, and structure. There is also a society of entitlement which is a serious problem. Entitlement leads to scarcity.
I wish you luck in accepting who you were in your teenage years. Almost all of us have some cringe, and some more than that, but whatever, you had your reasons at the time, and now you are YOU NOW. If you habe the capacity to introspect now and act accordingly, all good.
Why be ashamed of who you were when you were trying to figure out the world. It isn't fair to expect to be confident and comfortable in your own skin straight out of the gate.
It's just wonderfully liberating when you stop caring what random strangers think. That's the point at which you can begin to truly live.
Indeed true
Excellent