Emotional Psychopath

No, it is not a thing that exists...

Whenever I look for images for articles I almost always stumble across other articles that are just mind-blowingly dumb. This is a review of one of them that I found when researching the last debunking article I did, and when looking for an image for this one, I found one that claims Taylor Swift is a psychopath.

If you want me to cover that one, let me know. I am not a Taylor Swift fan, but I don’t know that I have seen anything to suggest she is psychopathic in the slightest. It’s totally bizarre to me that people so desperately want to diagnose celebrities with things when they don’t know them and do not have any basis to be making such claims. Anyway, for today’s serving of insanity, let’s dive in, shall we?

WHAT IS AN EMOTIONAL PSYCHOPATH, AND HOW CAN YOU AVOID THEM

First and foremost, this is from a site that is counseling center.

Fun, right? Their website states

We are the Premier Counseling Center in Lakewood Ranch, FL providing mental health services to Sarasota and Bradenton.

We are interested in learning about what has been going on, how we can be of assistance, and what you would like our time together to accomplish for you.

We have treatment options for individuals, couples, families and children.

Super fun. Let’s find out what an “emotional psychopath” is.

Psychopathy is more common than you may think.

When you hear the term, you may be imagining some kind of criminal mastermind – but the reality of psychopathy is far more mundane.

In this article, we’ll take a look at emotional psychopathy, discuss how you can recognize an emotional psychopath, and give you some tips to help you avoid forming relationships – or even romantic partnerships – with an emotional psychopath. Let’s get started.

The first sentence is total BS because they have no idea how common the person reading thinks psychopathy is. What if they think that everyone and their mother’s boyfriend’s mailman’s dog’s best friend’s uncle and whole family are psychopaths? Is it more common than they think? No, because they think everyone is a psychopath. What if they think that it’s between .75-1% of the total population? Is it more common than they think?

No, because they are exactly right about the current estimates of the population of psychopaths. They lead with this to put you in an emotional state when reading. Psychopathy is associated with fear in many people’s minds and this sentence brings that to mind right away. They do this on purpose because that makes you want to look for a solution to that fear.

“It’s more common than you think, and we know more about it than you do. We’re the experts and can help you, so read what we say and believe us.”

That’s what they are telling the reader. From here, we lead into their definition of this fictional term:

What Is An Emotional Psychopath?

Most emotional psychopaths are just normal, everyday people. The only difference is that they’re nearly incapable of understanding the emotions of others, and they are often willing to lie, manipulate others, and take other such actions for personal gain – or just for fun.

That doesn’t make any sense. You defined a term with the opposite of what it means. What they are saying is that “psychopathy” is defined by a person who doesn’t understand the emotions of others. That is not what psychopathy is. Psychopathy is a neurological hardwiring that is genetically coded. We do lack the ability to feel many emotions that neurotypicals do, and that makes those emotions difficult to understand, but that is the effect, not the cause. Psychopathy is the cause.

There are many types of people who do not understand the emotions of others. Willingness to lie, manipulate others, and take other such actions for personal gain is what humans do. All humans lie, manipulate, and are seeking self-gain. That’s just how life is. Lies can be small or huge. Manipulation is not a negative thing, it is human interaction. We are all seeking to get our wants and needs met, and to do so we manipulate everyone around us to meet that end. Self-gain is literally the human drive of living. It is self-gain to be loved, it is self-gain to be sheltered, to have food, water, and everything that you need to live physically, emotionally, and spiritually, is self-gain. People should recognize that everything that they do is for their self-gain on one level or another.

Emotional psychopathy refers to an abnormality where an individual is basically unable to understand how others feel. They do not have any real concerns about other people’s feelings, needs, or desires. The main purpose of an emotional psychopath is to get what they want, regardless of what happens to others.

Aside from the ridiculous term “emotional psychopath”, this paragraph is mostly true. Though most psychopaths do have a code of conduct that we follow. Most of us are not willing to mow down the world to get what we want. If for no other reason than it would be counterproductive to alienate everyone around us. We recognize that to exist in this world we have to function within it. What they are suggesting would not work well for longer than the immediate. Anyone with working brain cells will know this and not act an ass all the time.

Because of this, emotional psychopaths are often very charming, friendly, and charismatic. They’ll put up a front to get what they want – a new romantic partner for example – and change rapidly once they get it.

This sort of insinuates that a psychopath is seeking a romantic partner for emotional reasons, and that is definitely incorrect. That isn’t how it works for us. I have said it very frequently:

My preferred state is one of solitude. If someone comes along and improves upon that state I will make adjustments to accommodate them within it. If they leave, I return to my preferred state of solitude.

A psychopath might take this path to obtain sex from someone, and maybe they just didn’t want to say “sex” because it felt untoward to write in this article, but it would have been more accurate. Going forward, assume that every time the term “emotional psychopath” is used, I am shaming it, but I am not going to keep bothering, as I don’t want to repeat myself while missing the point of the article.

Recognizing An Emotional Psychopath

So, how can you recognize an emotional psychopath? What are the signs that you may know an emotional psychopath – or even be in a relationship with one? Here are a few ways you may be able to recognize emotional psychopathy in others.

Inability to admit fault or see your perspective – This is very common in relationships. If a person refuses to ever admit fault or see your perspective during an argument, discussion, or disagreement, this is a big red flag. An emotionally-normal person may not like admitting fault – but they are usually willing to see your perspective on an issue if you are in the right.

An emotional psychopath, on the other hand, won’t do this. They may even blame you for overreacting, and try to make it feel like the issue is your fault.

This is both false and true. As a psychopath, I have no problem admitting fault when I am wrong. Show me I’m wrong, and all right, whatever, thanks for the new information. Psychopaths are not invested emotionally in being right. That would require the ability to emotionally invest in something. I am actually going to write a whole post about how being wrong is a really good thing for people to admit and that the emotional attachment to avoiding it is counterproductive. It is an aspect of neurotypicals that baffles me. The other psychopath that I know also has no issue with it either. This is something that neither of us understand.

However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t think that we are right about something that we are uninformed about. An excellent example would be the next part of this paragraph where they are correct. Understanding neurotypical perspectives is often very difficult for us. We do not feel the way that you feel. The things that upset you have no effect on us. We genuinely cannot understand why they would be hurtful. If a psychopath has excellent cognitive empathy that simply means that we stumble less on this aspect of interaction, not that we never stumble at all. We will, and often. We are wired very differently.

Conversely, neurotypicals struggle to understand our perspectives as well, and frankly tend to not listen to us in general. We might have a very good reason for what we think or how we act, but our thoughts and behaviors are defined by the assumptions of others. Often when we do or say something it is heard through an emotional lens that we do not have. We are then accused of doing whatever that thing is for an emotional reason because that is the reason a neurotypical would do those things.

Also, this notion that most normally wired people are willing to see your perspective? That’s laughable. I have never met more stubborn individuals than neurotypicals who think they are right about something. The hubris it takes to be so convinced of their rightness in the face of hard evidence is something that is mind-bending to me.

Frankly, if you are having a disagreement with a partner, chances are, you are both wrong. Perhaps it is an occasion that one of you is totally in the wrong, but that’s rare. Usually, it is a three-sided issue. Your side, their side, and the truth. Also, chances are that you are both being stubborn as hell because neither of you wants to admit you’re wrong. That’s much more likely than you have an “emotional psychopath” for a partner.

Gaslighting – Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where you’re purposefully misled, in an attempt to control you and damage your sense of reality. You may be lied to, your partner may deny ever saying something, a friend may build you up – only to tear you down – and so on. They may even say that you’re crazy or unreliable if you try to bring up these issues.

Honestly, I am tired of this term. Yes, I know it is a real thing, but it is used so frequently now it has basically become synonymous with, I’m right and you’re wrong. There is no room for misremembering or mistakes. Nope, instead your partner is intentionally trying to make you feel crazy. Not that they disagree with your recollection of things and are trying to have a discussion. I have seen more people use this to shut down discussion than I have people actually being gaslit.

I don’t gaslight people. I can be mistaken, but I don’t sit there and try to convince them that the sky is in fact purple and that there was never a cake in the kitchen that is now missing. Psychopaths don’t gaslight people. Individuals do this. If an individual chooses this behavior, they chose that. It has nothing to do with psychopathy at all, and doesn’t relate to it either. Let’s hold individuals to account, shall we?

Always blames others for problems – Inability to accept any kind of blame is a common sign of emotional psychopathy. These individuals will blame others for all of their problems – they didn’t screw up at work, their boss is just a jerk. They aren’t at fault for a divorce – their partner is “crazy,” and so on. There is no sense of personal responsibility.

Nope. Not even a little. I don’t care if I mess up, or if I’m wrong, if I f*ck something up, I did that. It’s never been hard for me to admit that. The only reason I might lie about it is to escape the consequences of my actions. I may f*ck up and have no problem with f*cking up, but can also recognize that f*ck up might have consequences that are less than desirable for me. There isn’t an emotional reason to not admit fault, just practical ones. Granted, that was what I did when I was younger, but I was also a toxic little beastie back then. It might sound like a cute little nickname, but it’s an apt description.

None of my exes are crazy. I simply am not invested in them anymore. I could lie and say that I wish them the best, but in reality, I don’t think about them at all. There is nothing that connects me to them. I am not hoping for their downfall or their windfalls. I just don’t care. People who call their exes crazy don’t seem to be high on the psychopathic spectrum to me. That is far too much emotional investment in people that aren’t around anymore.

Personal responsibility is a choice, and really, it is a sign of maturity. People who aren’t twelve years old mentally are more likely to be personally responsible. I think it is one of the most crucial aspects of being a functional adult. I wish more people saw it that way.

Tears you or others down – Emotional psychopaths will often toy with your emotions, saying hurtful things to you and others, only to come back around and pretend they didn’t mean it – or phrase hurtful things carefully, in a way that makes you doubt whether or not they meant to hurt you.

No, this has nothing to do with psychopathy. That sounds more like sadism. They know what they are saying causes you emotional pain and enjoy causing that pain. Psychopaths don’t understand that you are in pain, which weirdly enough, they outright stated in a previous section of this article I believe. We do not understand your feelings. That was one thing that they got right, but suddenly when we get to this paragraph, we conveniently do understand your feelings and think of them as playthings.

This is the trouble when people have cognitive dissonance about what psychopathy is. They will contradict themselves in the same article because it suits a narrative, instead of being factual.

Isolates you from others – An emotional psychopath will often want to isolate their victim from others. By doing so, they can gain more control – and by limiting your contact with others, it’s harder for you to get advice about their behavior, or understand if it’s abnormal.

No, that’s just an abuser. A psychopath is far more likely to not care about your social life, your friends, or your family. They aren’t things that would interest us. Also, and this is super important so pay attention, a psychopath would want you to have those things so you will go away from time to time. Yes, yes, we are invested in you, but remember that preferred state of solitude bit? That doesn’t change. Psychopaths like being alone. In fact, we like it a lot. You not being around because you have friends? Yes! By all means go. Go away. Come back later… but call first. Seriously, call.

All of these signs could indicate that you know an emotional psychopath – and that you should be careful about developing a deep friendship, relationship, or even emotional partnership with this person.

None of these signs indicate an emotional psychopath. They indicate a crappy person.

Avoiding Emotional Psychopaths – Our Best Tips And Advice

Now that you’ve learned a bit about how to recognize emotional psychopaths, you may be wondering how you can avoid them. Here are a few helpful tips that are sure to help.

Never ignore red flags – As we mentioned, emotional psychopaths can be very charming – and this often means that we’re willing to ignore red flags when we’re first entering into a relationship or partnership with them.

Don’t do this. Don’t ever brush off bad behavior or warning signs – like those mentioned above – as a fluke, or an accident. You don’t have to overreact, but if you recognize multiple warning signs, you may want to reconsider your relationship with this person.

You should never ignore red flags in general. I think this is well-known. The problem is that people, once they are emotionally invested in another person, they are unlikely to want to pay attention to those red flags, which is why people get into abusive relationships. This has nothing to do with psychopathy, of course, rather, it’s just common sense.

Don’t let them manipulate you – Make sure that you can recognize the signs of emotional manipulation. Emotional psychopaths typically understand emotions quite well – they simply lack empathy. This means they can manipulate others freely, often without them recognizing it. Learn the signs, and don’t let yourself be manipulated.

Yeah… I mean… yeah, don’t your emotions speak louder than your logic. Sound advice, but again, nothing to do with psychopathy, just crappy people.

Never let yourself be isolated – If you feel like you are being emotionally abused, you need to make sure you can get an outside perspective. You may want to discuss your situation with a trusted friend or close family member.

You may even want to see a professional therapist, such as Dr. Quintal, to get a professional opinion about your situation. Being able to see a professional will provide you with a healthy way to vent and explain your situation, and help you discover the proper path forward.

Again, well, yeah, no one wants an abusive partner. Also again, this has nothing to do with psychopathy. This doctor doesn’t know a damn thing about psychopathy, and recommending that people seek out someone like him or her is not great advice. A person like this is like Martha Stout. She wrote, “The Sociopath Next Door”, and her work is garbage because she didn’t work with sociopaths, she worked with the so-called “victims” of sociopaths.

Meaning, that these people came into her office, complained about their partner, and she (Stout) decided that they were sociopaths with never meeting them and certainly no evaluation, and then wrote a book about that like she was an expert in anything other than her own ego. It was a pretty amazing display of arrogance, but as she is a disciple of Robert Hare, this comes as no surprise to me.

If you let yourself become isolated, it will be more and more difficult to take control of your situation – and recognize that you are being emotionally abused by an emotional psychopath.

No, it just means you’re being abused. The trouble with nonsense like this is that it is actually skirting personal responsibility, which is something that the article speaks about in terms of psychopaths. Nothing in this article is related to psychopathy. It very adeptly describes an abuser, but the problem arises when the doctor attempts to paint abusers as psychopaths, instead of normative people. Most abusers are normative people. It is important to recognize the evil of humans as it is so prevalent and not attempt to otherize it and place that blame onto others that have nothing to do with it.

If a psychopath is an abuser, they are an abuser who happens to be a psychopath. One does not equate the other. If a neurotypical is an abuser, they are an abuser that happens to be neurotypical. One does not equate the other. It is very annoying to see professionals make these arguments because they obfuscate the complicity they are lending to abusers as a whole. Abuse is a terrible thing, but hold abusers to account instead of trying to label them under something that has nothing to do with them. If you attempt to reframe abuse as a psychopathic behavior, you are removing the responsibility that the abuser has in that situation.

They are responsible. No one else and nothing else is responsible for their behavior. Hold them to account and call them what they are. Leave psychopathy out of it. You, doctor, clearly have no idea what it is.