That probably seems like a weird friend requirement, but hear me out. Do you have any idea how often people who know I am a psychopath and know what matters to me and what doesn’t will still apologize for things that would matter to an NT but has little to no interest of mine?
So true. I am always amazed by the superficial requirements people have of their circle. I favour integrity and an overlap of values and interests. Yet people will say, "Oh, Gary, yeah, he's a great guy", and I'm thinking, "No he's not, he's an arse, you just find him amusing".
You know, from what you’ve written, you seen like a very valuable friend to have. I wish I had a friend who could see things through your lens. Everyone should have such a foil. :)
Neurotypical judgements rely closely on what they feel about things that you're doing and less on whether they're right or wrong. We need some more factual judges out there. Keeps everyone honest.
"Get yourself a friend that judges you like a psychopath. That neutral ground can really be freeing, or so I’m told." Athena, In my experience, I found this statement to be very true. It was one of the reasons I was attracted to the friend who judged me like a psychopath. It also gave me confidence in that he would reign me in if I became overly emotionally or concerned about things I should not. I was reminded of his perspective.
I don't have close friends. I have acquaintances, whom I appreciate and who come in handy, but not close friends. I haven't for years. I was a kid when I realized just how terrible that sounded to other people, as if I was committing some huge faux pas. They were constantly telling me to make friends, that it would be "good" for me.
I just didn't care. I like my own company, and my thoughts. I like the freedom of not having to consider other people all the time. And I don't understand how someone could prefer to spend their time with people who make them uncomfortable rather than just spending it alone.
I can relate to your perspective and view people in the same way- even being an empath. People cannot grasp it when someone doesn’t judge like they do. I have often been told I am insensitive because of my logical and non-emotional thoughts or reactionary words (I struggle to not be brutally honest and with impulses sometimes). I explain that I am not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings (usually I am unaware in the moment that I am) and it wouldn’t hurt mine if it was said to me in the same tone. I guess, I treat others how I would like to be treated. It just sucks how dishonest most people are because 1 - they are concerned about feelings, 2 - they are non-committed to their truth and are unwilling to back up what they think logically, 3 - worried about how they will be viewed…
I fell madly in love with a woman that I could be myself around at all times, and quickly came to the conclusion (aclinical guess) that she was a primary psychopath. I love (present tense) how driven, smart, tactical and free she is, but was gutted by how quickly she severed the relationship when my feelings became unmanageable to me. I still find these traits admirable though especially when used constructively. Very glad to understand the nature of your being and maybe hers.
Heres my question....in order to have a psycopath as a friend, (which would be great) im wondering how a person like me who is driven by emotion would become a psycopaths friend? I imagine id drive you crazy! Trust wouldn't be the issue because I know my take on loyalty and honesty but my relentless need for answers and my curiosity about damn near everything would drive a wedge in the friendship I would imagine. Unless psycopaths are extremely patient, and tolerate my need to be expressive, I dont think id stand a chance.
So true. I am always amazed by the superficial requirements people have of their circle. I favour integrity and an overlap of values and interests. Yet people will say, "Oh, Gary, yeah, he's a great guy", and I'm thinking, "No he's not, he's an arse, you just find him amusing".
You know, from what you’ve written, you seen like a very valuable friend to have. I wish I had a friend who could see things through your lens. Everyone should have such a foil. :)
Neurotypical judgements rely closely on what they feel about things that you're doing and less on whether they're right or wrong. We need some more factual judges out there. Keeps everyone honest.
"Get yourself a friend that judges you like a psychopath. That neutral ground can really be freeing, or so I’m told." Athena, In my experience, I found this statement to be very true. It was one of the reasons I was attracted to the friend who judged me like a psychopath. It also gave me confidence in that he would reign me in if I became overly emotionally or concerned about things I should not. I was reminded of his perspective.
I don't have close friends. I have acquaintances, whom I appreciate and who come in handy, but not close friends. I haven't for years. I was a kid when I realized just how terrible that sounded to other people, as if I was committing some huge faux pas. They were constantly telling me to make friends, that it would be "good" for me.
I just didn't care. I like my own company, and my thoughts. I like the freedom of not having to consider other people all the time. And I don't understand how someone could prefer to spend their time with people who make them uncomfortable rather than just spending it alone.
I’m a NT and I hate shallow connections. Such a waste of time.
Well you wanna be friends? Lol, but will a high functioning sociopath due? Wink.
I can relate to your perspective and view people in the same way- even being an empath. People cannot grasp it when someone doesn’t judge like they do. I have often been told I am insensitive because of my logical and non-emotional thoughts or reactionary words (I struggle to not be brutally honest and with impulses sometimes). I explain that I am not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings (usually I am unaware in the moment that I am) and it wouldn’t hurt mine if it was said to me in the same tone. I guess, I treat others how I would like to be treated. It just sucks how dishonest most people are because 1 - they are concerned about feelings, 2 - they are non-committed to their truth and are unwilling to back up what they think logically, 3 - worried about how they will be viewed…
Easier said than done lol
Spoken as a friend.
This is really good, liked it a lot
I fell madly in love with a woman that I could be myself around at all times, and quickly came to the conclusion (aclinical guess) that she was a primary psychopath. I love (present tense) how driven, smart, tactical and free she is, but was gutted by how quickly she severed the relationship when my feelings became unmanageable to me. I still find these traits admirable though especially when used constructively. Very glad to understand the nature of your being and maybe hers.
A gay psycopath guy. Probably the best friend in the world to have! Lol
Heres my question....in order to have a psycopath as a friend, (which would be great) im wondering how a person like me who is driven by emotion would become a psycopaths friend? I imagine id drive you crazy! Trust wouldn't be the issue because I know my take on loyalty and honesty but my relentless need for answers and my curiosity about damn near everything would drive a wedge in the friendship I would imagine. Unless psycopaths are extremely patient, and tolerate my need to be expressive, I dont think id stand a chance.
Explains my past. Been told “ I keep you around because you are brutally honest “
Objectivity is gold! Someone in your life has to tell you the blunt truth.