28 Comments
Sep 21, 2021Liked by Athena Walker

I was studying for a PhD in Education (I was working full-time as a literacy/arts teacher in elementary school at the time) with a toddler and a baby. I was also a concert pianist (dream of becoming a conductor stopped when I went to teachers’ college, but student loans needed paying, and so I taught it to keen young musicians on the side.

This was my excellent life. One day I fell, and couldn’t get back up. Lost the use of my legs (and of course, hands…no playing for me). Turned out I have Multiple Sclerosis.

Had to “retire” from my job in my early 30’s. No PhD. Am back playing a bit, but I have nowhere near the strength or coordination to play at a level that was commonplace for me, so playing doesn’t give me too much joy, but at least my left hand works a bit now.

Not dead! :) Mourned my life for a while, and now I do what I can, when I can. Learned a lot about being brave, accepting what you can, fighting for what may be worth it, letting go what you must. Appreciate the smaller things so much more. Mindfulness helps, gratitude, too.

Exactly as you say - if you are alive, you are doing well (generally speaking). Every event can be an opportunity for positive growth, and I mean even the most horrible. :)

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Sep 21, 2021Liked by Athena Walker

Great advice.

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"No deeply felt love and no deeply felt loss". Yes. And even amongst neurotypicals, the degree of love and loss and emotional investment varies a lot. For the least resilient, setbacks are experienced either as losing the possibility of an intense and profound and rare pleasure, or else as the prospect of having to endure severe pain, or both, and the resulting storm in the head and the heart and soul can destroy people, and no sensible advice to go with the flow makes any difference at all.

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Oct 21, 2021Liked by Athena Walker

I can easily see that you were not passionate about ballet. I'm curious, though, about something else that the term "passion" might apply to in your life. Namely, your level of commitment to explaining to NT's and the world at large what psychopathy really is, and what it's like to be one.

I mean, would you say you are passionate about doing this? Or if not, what word would you use?

That is, I realize that your commitment is probably not especially emotional even though it appears to be quite strong. Or maybe it is somewhat emotional?

And clearly you do feel -- or possibly experience is a better term -- what one might call the intellectual emotions: curiosity, surprise, awe at landscape beauty, disgust at "ugliness" eg disinformation, Spock's "fascinating". What about emotions like annoyance? Irritation? And you've mentioned that boredom is a biggie.

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Sep 25, 2021Liked by Athena Walker

Emotions can make you and they can brake you. For some each day is a struggle. Picking yourself up and moving on, is not always a choice. Sometimes just making it through the day can be a challenge, a loss can be so great that it changes everything.

You're fortunate not to be hindered by this. Yet somewhat unfortunate not to feel the great love and joy that this comes from . That is the flip side.

Having children runs that spectrum and losing one can be so painful that some people never recover from it . I think that the amount of love or joy one feels for someone or something dictates how much pain comes from the loss of said, simply put, and sometimes emotional pain is just too much to bare. Not something you can really understand. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

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No matter what my goals are or how I plan to reach them, they're all really just a way to reach this point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6yCmdIkw_E

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It's always inspiring to read your articles

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Definitely agree that with plans it’s definitely a good idea not to put all your eggs in one basket and have a plan b (even a c if possible) and change course if plan A gets totally messed up!

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