The picture says it all. Yet again, Lily Hale will grace our screens and I will be debunking yet more of her claims. Just when you think that they can’t get any worse, we find this lovely page of misinformation.
Oh good lord, this quote that the article starts with:
“The psychopath despises the person who holds on to an illusion that he is good; unconsciously he knows that it is a rejection of an important part of him. Because the psychopath unconsciously hates the person who has an illusion about him, he will always give a strong clue about the hidden side of his character.” — Neville Symington
I feel like I should repeat the image above. This is definitely a *head on desk* quote.
This guy is an actual psychologist. I know… truly shocking. You would think he would know ONE THING about psychopaths, but clearly not. Also, he’s dead. Why is he dead? Because he was five thousand years old. All right, that is hyperbolic, but he was eighty-two and he was a Catholic Priest before becoming a psychoanalyst.
To give you an idea of his thinking, Symington was perhaps best known for his work on narcissism, which he considered to be the central psychopathology underlying all others.
Sooo… sociopathy, caused by severe abuse, neglect, and or prolonged trauma… is caused by narcissism… did I get that right? Seriously dude? I can just imagine a patient sitting across from you tearfully recalling how her father had raped her for fifteen years of her life and you leaning over and saying: “Well, if you weren’t so self-centered, that would never have happened”.
So glad to know that all the child abuse victims should just get over it. After all, it’s their own fault because they are narcissistic. I wonder if he also thought that lobotomies were a great mental health treatment as they were in the same time frame. Anyone that thinks that way should not be a considered an expert in anything. Especially not regarding people’s mental health. What a dick.
Where does this woman find her experts and why are they all from an era where putting people in comas was considered psychological “care”.
Anyway, onto the article.
They are prone to taking things personally
Psychopaths have personalizing, intentionalizing and hostile attribution biases. When something happens, they are likely to perceive it as something done personally against them with mal intention.
For instance, let’s say your boss was horrible to you and you were crying about it. If a psychopath happened to see this, they might bring it up and ask what the problem was. Yet you might find this too personal to talk about, so you deny that you were crying at all. Or another scenario is they ran into you crying, and you went out of your way to try to cover it up and insist it didn’t happen. In both situations, the psychopath may take these as a personal attack — an attempt to gaslight them, without realizing it was just that this was a sensitive topic for you or was not something you were comfortable discussing.
Yes, our heads will collectively be dwelling on our desks for this one. This woman…
I have no idea who you think you are talking about, but it isn’t psychopaths. Psychopaths notoriously have an “I do not care” attitude. I don’t think people have malintent towards me because that would require two things.
I would first have to care about them to consider them in the first place. No psychopath does.
I would have to be a crazy person. I am starting to smell a bit of projection here.
Let me be clear. If you are crying in a corner, the only reason I would ask you what’s up is if I have to not look like a bitch. It is an entirely self-interested action. If you tell me you don’t want to talk about it, bully for me! I don’t have to look like I give a damn about your problems, and I don’t think about you or your problems for the rest of my life. Sorry to tell you Lily, your problems with your boss, and your tantrum at work do not concern me in the slightest. No psychopath cares about you at all, nor if you try to hide you are crying. That is a boon for us. Not something that hurts our feelings. See projection note above.
They lack insight
Psychopaths lack empathy, so they cannot relate to people well. In many cases, they cannot relate to people at all. For example, let’s assume the psychopath you’re with just showed up where you were uninvited and started an argument because they were offended by something you said or they took something personally. You felt attacked, so you just walked off. The psychopath may interpret this as an attempt to punish them to get them to change their behaviour. Although, in reality, you are just angry or irritated or even exhausted with the situation. You feel like your personal space was invaded, and there is a severe lack of communication, so you need distance. Psychopaths often cannot see a human dimension in others, which means they are likely to interpret such situations as manipulation attempts instead of recognising other people can have emotional reactions.
Alternatively, they are likely to have an impaired perspective and may have no sense of what is socially appropriate or any capacity to recognise if something is too tasteless. For example, let’s say you have a criminal record from your teenage years, and you don’t like talking about it because you feel a lot of guilt and shame. The psychopath may casually mention this without even thinking about what it may make you feel because they cannot understand why someone would feel anything about that particular behaviour. Even if they believe there is a possibility it might be uncomfortable for you, they might fail to grasp the extent of it and relate to what that might feel like from your perspective.
Oh my good lord, stop making up imaginary psychopaths. No psychopath is showing up at your house uninvited to pick a fight with you. You seriously have not a clue about psychopaths. It’s quite unfortunate that you are wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are.
Psychopaths are immune to punishment, Whatever little games you want to try and play to get us to “feel” something or other, we don’t. We see it as amusing. We don’t think you’re trying to punish us because we aren’t at your door picking imaginary fights to begin with. I don’t know who you are hanging out with that does this sort of thing, but they are: A. not a psychopath, and: B: not someone to base articles of nonsense on. I have no idea what their deal is, but psychopathy ain’t it.
Now for the gossip thing. Nope, sorry, that’s a neurotypical thing. Psychopaths don’t give a dinkus damn about your past and they aren’t going to gossip about you. Why? Because psychopaths are not drama merchants. This is attention-seeking behavior. Psychopaths don’t bother with this because we do not need to. Attention is never an issue for a psychopath, to the point, that it's an annoyance. Check your own side of the fence for this one. Nice try, but no. Moving on.
They have an external locus of control
Psychopaths believe external factors are controlling them. They often think people are trying to tell them what to do or influence their behaviour. They also think most people are trying to manipulate them. In many ways, they are constantly at war with other people because they see them as enemies trying to invade their personal space and push them into doing things they don’t want to do.
In reality, people have control and choice over what they do in most cases. For example, suppose someone is being manipulative, breaching boundaries or doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. In that case, you can speak up about it, set boundaries, call out the behaviour you don’t like instead of just feeling like a victim and believing other people are attempting to control you without ever saying a word about it. And if someone is genuinely trying to control you or you’ve simply had enough, you can also choose to walk away from that situation. Yet psychopaths often feel powerless, and because of this, they attempt to resolve things through aggression and hostility.
Wow, you must be afraid of psychopaths. That is getting increasingly obvious. You are trying to remove the teeth of psychopaths because they terrify you. Interesting. In every single thing, you are not only incorrect, but you try to be disparaging.
First of all, psychopaths are not psychotic. We have an internal locus of control and never think that anyone is controlling us. I hope your future psych professors don’t pursue your work here.
Second of all, psychopaths never feel out of control. That idea in and of itself is laughable to anyone that knows literally anything about psychopaths. It makes sense, however, that you would make up such things if psychopaths were scary to you. At first, it would come across that you are just terribly misinformed. Then a couple of articles in, it becomes glaringly apparent that you dislike us to the point of hatred, but in this article, it becomes obvious that it is actual fear that is driving your writings.
Considering that you have so much misinformation, you are worried about a monster that you created in your own mind. If you read my writings you would know that the scary shadow you are concerned with doesn’t exist.
They are lacking in self-identity. In a way, they are actors
Psychopaths lack the emotional capacity of ordinary humans. They don’t have an internal sense of how to behave in most situations, especially those that require prosocial emotions like empathy. From a young age, when they are faced with a problem, they start to learn what to do through trial and error. For instance, if someone tells them their father passed away, psychopaths don’t know what to do in this situation. The first time may be even awkward for them as they are unsure what reaction to give. Over time, the more they face these situations, the more they get good at acting. Eventually, when people tell them bad news, they learn to simply arrange their face and vocal tone in a manner that mimics a genuine empathic reaction. If you observe one closely, you will notice either a delay in their emotional responses or that something feels off about it. It may be too exaggerated or too obviously faked.
They also often act out a particular type of persona of their choosing in general since they don’t really have an identity. In other words, if they want to be seen as scary or dangerous, they would simply mimic the conversation style, choice of words, body language and mannerisms of someone they believe comes across as intimidating and threatening.
I found an interesting example of this below. If you watch the interview, you can see how the woman changes entirely at the end. First, she sounds cold-blooded and chilling, yet as soon as the interview is over, she starts laughing, and her personality turns mischievous and child-like. It’s like during the interview she was purposefully exaggerating her callousness and unfeeling presence by putting on a show.
See, this just demonstrates what I already know about you. That you know nothing about us. We are actors, but we know exactly who we are beneath the mask. I get it, you don’t and that scares you. Well, nuts to you because it is due to the neurotypical world that we live in that the mask is necessary. Anyone that has actually met a psychopath and knows them beneath the mask will tell you that our identity is very solid. Just because you see the mask doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone very real beneath it. We don’t show it to you because of exactly articles like this. You have created such a ridiculous monster in your head about us, it doesn’t benefit us at all to try and reason with people that think about us as you do. Those that see us mask off are those that have demonstrated that they are worthy of cognitive trust. You will never get that from a psychopath so you will never know one of our personalities.
I imagine that you consider yourself quite insightful writing this sort of thing. Unfortunately for you, it isn’t remotely accurate. I also get that you value emotional empathy. I don’t. It's a broken cheat code that has no value outside someone that you personally cannot relate to. If you would like a very clear example of that, your empathy is dreadful. How do I know? I have read your articles. You don’t understand psychopaths, so you feel the need to demonize us with a creative writing project. That is your wonderful emotional empathy that you hold in such high regard. Thank you for showing us that it has little value without strong cognitive empathy as well.
The woman that you listed as a video reference I have previously debunked. She is not a psychopath. She is not only an addict, she has been in and out of psychiatric facilities since she was ten for unstable emotional problems. She is by definition, not a psychopath. Again, more misinformation. Stop demonizing what you do not understand. It will never benefit you in life. It benefits me, however. You have given me plenty of things to debunk. So thanks for that.