Its only by owning your actions that you have any chance of changing things. By denying your responsibility you deny your agency. An exception would be if I were intentionally hiding something, but if I were caught red-handed, I'd own it. Again, ironically, judging psychopaths as 'bad' because they have less emotional capacity is assuming that having emotional capacity always leads to 'good' choices—in my experience as an ND therapist (ADHD) with a close friend with psychopathy, it is easy to see how that is simply not true. Emotions can make us choose unwisely to avoid emotional discomfort.
I agree, and it is unfortunate that this is the case. Part of my writing is to examine human darkness in it's various forms, often addressing instances of large groups acting. My purpose in doing this is to disabuse people of the notion that their emotions are some sort of shield, when in reality they are often the sword fallen on.
Owning your own actions is actually a great deal of fun. I know that at one time I would try to avoid consequences, but it seems like such a hassle to try to keep your story straight. I found that looking them straight in the eye and admitting yes, I did that is quick and easy. However, people are not used to that and frequently want to argue with you at this point the consequences melt away as the person who should be holding you accountable is trying to figure out what you’re doing to try to avoid accountability. I’m not sure if that made any sense, but I found it to be highly amusing.
It makes perfect sense. It's discombobulating for them, and they might assume you are the type to throw yourself under the bus for the slightest misstep, so it makes them want to defer some of the perceived emotions that they are assuming you are feeling, such as guilt.
I agree, they are quite excellent. The Long Winter, especially, reminds us how good our lives are on a daily basis, and the difficulties that could be there instead.
LOVE little house on the prairie. grew up on those books and TV show.
responsibility has always come easily to me, because if i was wrong, why would i say i'm right? that's a breach of my own code - lying is.
it never occurred to me until my late twenties that other people do NOT operate this way and as a result, would often place responsibility on me because i was the only one willing to take it.
it is hard for me to understand people who don't take responsibility for faults, or even honest mistakes. they'll blame everyone but themselves. confusing.
my consequences were severe in childhood, yet i still understood the importance of responsibility despite the cost. perhaps that is black and white thinking, but i still can't connect how fear of the unknown is an excuse for lying. however, i also place a significant importance on honesty. it's interesting to hear another perspective.
You cannot create new energy and new matter. Only convert from one to the other. There is no 100% efficient system. There are losses. Heat, sound, friction, what have you. You pay the price to be able to do what you want.
Without external source, you stop. Earth has Sun, that plants use, that animals use, that carnivores use, that in the end plants recycle. When the Sun runs out of fuel, then...
It is predicted that most of the universe will be black holes once the stars run out. As in, total time of live Universe is maybe 1 to 5% (can't be bothered to look for this) and the rest of 95%? Black holes, no energy. If we harness gravitational energy of black holes then we may live to the end of the universe. But, entropy prevails so even with that...
So...
Even the Universe itself pays a price. Nothing is free, as You said.
Excellent piece. Are you familiar with The Little House on The Prairie tv series? There is a relatively new book out called The Enshittification and that is exactly what you are describing that the app is doing. The Ghost platform allows you to do way more things and doesn’t take a cut of your revenue, but there is a monthly fee based on size of subscriber base. Lastly, I think I found an EXCELLENT case to write about. Personally, I think the guy is a psychopath, but could be wrong. Your take on him would be fantastic! He is the guy who climbs crazy tall buildings and mountains. I saw him interviewed in this episode of Diary of a CEO (#2 podcast globally). https://youtu.be/ajgwabD4_HE?si=wfYKCf0sIkKqfHEH
The YouTube episode is called The World’s Greatest Climber.
They talk about his brain scans (to which he says, “I hate the brain stuff) and I know you will find a LOT to talk about. I believe he has the infamous “psychopath stare,” and people in the comments note his eyes. He also has a very slow blink rate. I think you could make great content about this man and this video!
I have seen that guy several times, and he outright states that he feels fear, and a good amount of it as well, he just manages it, so he cannot be psychopathic. He may be high in some traits, but he would be disqualified by the fact he does feal fear.
I paid very careful attention to exactly how he spoke about “feeling fear.” He hedges how he answers the question in ways that I think are purposeful because I think he knows he is a psychopath and what he should say to seem neurotypical. This is the only interview I have seen with him and it’s long and the host himself (not someone with extensive knowledge of neuro differences) seems suspicious of the “brain stuff” the guy brushed off.The climber, Alex, SAYS he was told he “isn’t normal” after the scans and apparently some sort of neuro work-up. He quickly says he is normal because he grew up in a middle class family, etc. He moved away from anything to do with his brain. He lied about what the nature of the fMRI test is like…I know this because I asked my father to tell me about it. He implied that he didn’t register fear bc they showed him some sort of scary heights and since he is used to climbing heights, he didn’t register fear. That test probably didn’t show him those kinds of pics. They probably showed him things like children burning up in flames in a school bus. (Per my father who took the test) I think you would take away a different impression from this specific in-depth interview. Do you think he wouldn’t know to say that he feels some sort of fear simply to appear “normal?”
Perhaps. When I watched Free Solo I thought that there was a chance he was psychopathic. It's difficult for me to give much of an opinion. I wonder if what he feels is the adrenaline aspect of stressors, but no actual fear, but doesn't know the difference. I have noticed that is pretty common with people high in psychopathic traits. I think it comes from a lack of cognitive empathy. They assume what they experience is what others do, and therefore they feel something akin to "fear", because fear is described with the physical, as well as the emotional responses to stimuli.
However, when further examined, they are only able to describe what is known as an adrenalin dump, but lacks all fear. It is also quite possible that this is why some researchers are confused as to what psychopaths can, and cannot feel.
I wonder what Alex Honnold actually feels, and how much he really understands about it. Interestingly, one of the aspects that might be supportive of him being psychopathic, also limits the ability to guess whether or not he is, and that is the lack of talking about oneself and an internal emotional life.
I think that could be it. As I mentioned, I paid very close attention to him answering questions about fear, and he seemed to me to be struggling to answer the question more than a neurotypical person would have. It felt like he was trying to find a way he could say he felt fear. A neurotypical person would not have taken the extra beats to answer whether they felt fear doing what he does. If you ever watch that interview, I hope you write about it.
It is a long one, so I would probably have to only address relevant things to what I write about. But that certainly could be interesting. Thank you for the link, Joni
You’re welcome. I hope you write about him. His eyes are the only ones I have ever seen that look like the guy in the photo you shared about the closest you have ever seen the “psychopathic stare” in a movie. I am curious what impression you will get of that as well. It’s funny - I just randomly saw a popular influencer on IG talking about him and how he doesn’t appear to care about how precarious his climbing stunts are for his children - she thought he was a selfish f**k for increasing the odds that they would have to grow up without him. I wasn’t thinking about that while watching, but her comments section was full of hundreds of people who expressed the same feelings she had.
I, when caught, and no way out, just out and say yes, I did X, I did is Y amount of times and so on. But in a way that minimizes the trouble for me. And I can conveniently not say the whole part of the truth in order to mininize the consequences.
That woman is from an old "village" morality. Trying to be fair. To feel good by admitting. It's almost as if she's hoping to be asked.
Oh and that style change? It may be like, OH, LOOK AT HOW IMPRESSIVE YOUR WRITING BECOMES IF ONLY YOU PAY. Also, the length limit. They HAVE to monetize the platform, SOMEHOW.
I agree. When you have your own style, why allow intruders to influence it?
I use the spellchecker and grammar function, but the rest of it I cannot be bothered with. I do not like things that rewrite my words. I said it how I meant it, and it's opinion on the matter does not interest me.
Its only by owning your actions that you have any chance of changing things. By denying your responsibility you deny your agency. An exception would be if I were intentionally hiding something, but if I were caught red-handed, I'd own it. Again, ironically, judging psychopaths as 'bad' because they have less emotional capacity is assuming that having emotional capacity always leads to 'good' choices—in my experience as an ND therapist (ADHD) with a close friend with psychopathy, it is easy to see how that is simply not true. Emotions can make us choose unwisely to avoid emotional discomfort.
What's an ND therapist?
Naughty 'n' Dirty.
What if you know but play a game: how long until I have to admit?
Then you become a Karma Houdini.
Do you though? Karma doesn't have a timeline that we as humans can perceive, if it does indeed exist.
Yes. As long as you have Karma Houdini Warranty :)
I think if you keep denying it in the face of evidence it makes you look stupid.
Not denying - trying to get away with it until yup, have to admit. The trick is, you fully know.
Apologies Neuro Divergent- I have ADHD
I agree, and it is unfortunate that this is the case. Part of my writing is to examine human darkness in it's various forms, often addressing instances of large groups acting. My purpose in doing this is to disabuse people of the notion that their emotions are some sort of shield, when in reality they are often the sword fallen on.
Owning your own actions is actually a great deal of fun. I know that at one time I would try to avoid consequences, but it seems like such a hassle to try to keep your story straight. I found that looking them straight in the eye and admitting yes, I did that is quick and easy. However, people are not used to that and frequently want to argue with you at this point the consequences melt away as the person who should be holding you accountable is trying to figure out what you’re doing to try to avoid accountability. I’m not sure if that made any sense, but I found it to be highly amusing.
It makes perfect sense. It's discombobulating for them, and they might assume you are the type to throw yourself under the bus for the slightest misstep, so it makes them want to defer some of the perceived emotions that they are assuming you are feeling, such as guilt.
I imagine this:
They are applying pressure. You resist. They apply more.
But you did not resist. You turned to mist and the pressure just... passed through.
They need to feel they are pressing against something.
It's like you trying to hit a ball full strength... and the person pulls back the ball and you hit empty air. Ouch!
That is an interesting description. It seems apt
Yeah I did it, and I'm gonna do it again 😈
Oooo yeah man! Go for it! :)
I grew reading the Little House books. They are a treasure trove of wisdom and advice. They should be required reading in school. Excellent topic!
I agree, they are quite excellent. The Long Winter, especially, reminds us how good our lives are on a daily basis, and the difficulties that could be there instead.
LOVE little house on the prairie. grew up on those books and TV show.
responsibility has always come easily to me, because if i was wrong, why would i say i'm right? that's a breach of my own code - lying is.
it never occurred to me until my late twenties that other people do NOT operate this way and as a result, would often place responsibility on me because i was the only one willing to take it.
it is hard for me to understand people who don't take responsibility for faults, or even honest mistakes. they'll blame everyone but themselves. confusing.
There is often a strong emotional resistance to doing so, it seems.
Well emotions perhaps are like leashes that guide you. Like a train on tracks.
Someone unbalances you. You do anything you can to get back on track.
Because leaving comfort zone = danger. So what do you do when in danger?
Fight! If you cannot fight, run away. If you cannot do that, hide! And hope you aren't seen.
i don't understand how responsibility is even remotely close to the equivalent of danger, i suppose.
Well you are afraid of consequences. Because you are not used to them.
Fear of the unknown.
We imagine the consequences are way worse than they are.
I guess that?
And then that becomes a habit.
Perhaps in childhood consequences were severe?
my consequences were severe in childhood, yet i still understood the importance of responsibility despite the cost. perhaps that is black and white thinking, but i still can't connect how fear of the unknown is an excuse for lying. however, i also place a significant importance on honesty. it's interesting to hear another perspective.
Different mindsets, different neural networks. Perhaps that was not your trigger that caused you to avoid it.
Or perhaps you get rewarded by avoiding consequences. So that too.
Ah.
Well maybe like this:
I am afraid. I am in danger.
Danger danger danger, says the command center of the meat-bone mech you pilot.
So we do what we can to escape the danger! That is, lie lie and lie. It's an old fight-flight-freeze reflex.
Just had an interesting thought:
We live in Feedom: Freedom... For A Price!
Everything has a price
Well yes.
Even in fundamental laws of physics.
Matter and energy are interchangeable.
You cannot create new energy and new matter. Only convert from one to the other. There is no 100% efficient system. There are losses. Heat, sound, friction, what have you. You pay the price to be able to do what you want.
Without external source, you stop. Earth has Sun, that plants use, that animals use, that carnivores use, that in the end plants recycle. When the Sun runs out of fuel, then...
It is predicted that most of the universe will be black holes once the stars run out. As in, total time of live Universe is maybe 1 to 5% (can't be bothered to look for this) and the rest of 95%? Black holes, no energy. If we harness gravitational energy of black holes then we may live to the end of the universe. But, entropy prevails so even with that...
So...
Even the Universe itself pays a price. Nothing is free, as You said.
Excellent piece. Are you familiar with The Little House on The Prairie tv series? There is a relatively new book out called The Enshittification and that is exactly what you are describing that the app is doing. The Ghost platform allows you to do way more things and doesn’t take a cut of your revenue, but there is a monthly fee based on size of subscriber base. Lastly, I think I found an EXCELLENT case to write about. Personally, I think the guy is a psychopath, but could be wrong. Your take on him would be fantastic! He is the guy who climbs crazy tall buildings and mountains. I saw him interviewed in this episode of Diary of a CEO (#2 podcast globally). https://youtu.be/ajgwabD4_HE?si=wfYKCf0sIkKqfHEH
The YouTube episode is called The World’s Greatest Climber.
They talk about his brain scans (to which he says, “I hate the brain stuff) and I know you will find a LOT to talk about. I believe he has the infamous “psychopath stare,” and people in the comments note his eyes. He also has a very slow blink rate. I think you could make great content about this man and this video!
I have seen that guy several times, and he outright states that he feels fear, and a good amount of it as well, he just manages it, so he cannot be psychopathic. He may be high in some traits, but he would be disqualified by the fact he does feal fear.
I paid very careful attention to exactly how he spoke about “feeling fear.” He hedges how he answers the question in ways that I think are purposeful because I think he knows he is a psychopath and what he should say to seem neurotypical. This is the only interview I have seen with him and it’s long and the host himself (not someone with extensive knowledge of neuro differences) seems suspicious of the “brain stuff” the guy brushed off.The climber, Alex, SAYS he was told he “isn’t normal” after the scans and apparently some sort of neuro work-up. He quickly says he is normal because he grew up in a middle class family, etc. He moved away from anything to do with his brain. He lied about what the nature of the fMRI test is like…I know this because I asked my father to tell me about it. He implied that he didn’t register fear bc they showed him some sort of scary heights and since he is used to climbing heights, he didn’t register fear. That test probably didn’t show him those kinds of pics. They probably showed him things like children burning up in flames in a school bus. (Per my father who took the test) I think you would take away a different impression from this specific in-depth interview. Do you think he wouldn’t know to say that he feels some sort of fear simply to appear “normal?”
Perhaps. When I watched Free Solo I thought that there was a chance he was psychopathic. It's difficult for me to give much of an opinion. I wonder if what he feels is the adrenaline aspect of stressors, but no actual fear, but doesn't know the difference. I have noticed that is pretty common with people high in psychopathic traits. I think it comes from a lack of cognitive empathy. They assume what they experience is what others do, and therefore they feel something akin to "fear", because fear is described with the physical, as well as the emotional responses to stimuli.
However, when further examined, they are only able to describe what is known as an adrenalin dump, but lacks all fear. It is also quite possible that this is why some researchers are confused as to what psychopaths can, and cannot feel.
I wonder what Alex Honnold actually feels, and how much he really understands about it. Interestingly, one of the aspects that might be supportive of him being psychopathic, also limits the ability to guess whether or not he is, and that is the lack of talking about oneself and an internal emotional life.
I think that could be it. As I mentioned, I paid very close attention to him answering questions about fear, and he seemed to me to be struggling to answer the question more than a neurotypical person would have. It felt like he was trying to find a way he could say he felt fear. A neurotypical person would not have taken the extra beats to answer whether they felt fear doing what he does. If you ever watch that interview, I hope you write about it.
It is a long one, so I would probably have to only address relevant things to what I write about. But that certainly could be interesting. Thank you for the link, Joni
You’re welcome. I hope you write about him. His eyes are the only ones I have ever seen that look like the guy in the photo you shared about the closest you have ever seen the “psychopathic stare” in a movie. I am curious what impression you will get of that as well. It’s funny - I just randomly saw a popular influencer on IG talking about him and how he doesn’t appear to care about how precarious his climbing stunts are for his children - she thought he was a selfish f**k for increasing the odds that they would have to grow up without him. I wasn’t thinking about that while watching, but her comments section was full of hundreds of people who expressed the same feelings she had.
Hmm, if he is like me he wouldn't really see how one thing has to do with the other. It's not like he intends to die, and doesn't assume he will.
Ah.
I, when caught, and no way out, just out and say yes, I did X, I did is Y amount of times and so on. But in a way that minimizes the trouble for me. And I can conveniently not say the whole part of the truth in order to mininize the consequences.
That woman is from an old "village" morality. Trying to be fair. To feel good by admitting. It's almost as if she's hoping to be asked.
Oh and that style change? It may be like, OH, LOOK AT HOW IMPRESSIVE YOUR WRITING BECOMES IF ONLY YOU PAY. Also, the length limit. They HAVE to monetize the platform, SOMEHOW.
I agree. When you have your own style, why allow intruders to influence it?
Sometimes, it is unavoidable if the author is seeking to get published.
Well. You analyze or feel or whatever gives you advantage?
Hey, why waste the tools? Or maybe not use them if you think it's more "authenthic".
I use the spellchecker and grammar function, but the rest of it I cannot be bothered with. I do not like things that rewrite my words. I said it how I meant it, and it's opinion on the matter does not interest me.
Ah. I see.
I use no tools at all. Except when I don't know something. But that is rare.
The less I depend on foreign skills, the more I use my mind.