The Arrogance Of Others

The need to be right...

How many times have you had someone inform you that you are incorrect about you? It’s a weirdly common practice that many people undertake in the ever-engaging pursuit of being better than everyone else around them.

Recently I read an answer on Quora about a guy who set his mind to weight loss and took about eight months to drop one hundred and twelve pounds. He posted before and after photographs and detailed his journey. He was very open in the comments section and answered whatever questions the readers had of him. However, there were a few questions or comments that were repeated so often that he added an amendment to his answer in order to address them. One of these comments came from someone claiming that they had run the photos through facial recognition software, and they, in fact, were not the same person.

This was a bit bothersome to the fellow, as he had done a lot of work to get to where he was, or at least that is what the answer stated. I am not here to argue the validity of the facial recognition software, as I do not know the limitations of that technology. What I will say is this, if it is really him in the photos, and frankly, I really don’t think that there is a reason to doubt him, I can understand how annoying it is when arrogant people tell him he is wrong about him. He lived the journey that he documented only to have some person with too much time on their hands declaring him to be lying. The evidence? They supposedly have facial recognition software that says so…

That is not evidence, that is conjecture. This person has decided that the individual in question is clearly lying. Their reasoning for this proclamation?

“Trust me, bro.”

This is a common thing that I deal with as well when it comes to psychopathy, but it isn’t the only place that I see it. I see people speak about their health conditions and be met with skepticism by absolute strangers whose entire argument is a five-minute Google search of whatever condition that person is dealing with. It amazes me that people truly think that they are able to discount a person’s situation, sometimes their entire life, based on their cursory judgment call, but it is a frequent thing.

Granted, people lie, and I have said again and again, never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, but there is a vast distance between never giving the benefit of the doubt, and just declaring from on high that the person is clearly lying, and the reasoning for this conclusion comes from a weak argument that comes down to, “because I say so.”

Google is not a nuanced place unless you are willing to very deeply dive into the subject that you are searching for information about. Relying on the first page of anything Google hands back as search results tend to be extremely biased, to say the least, and often are not presenting factual information, but rather the most popular beliefs surrounding something. Google doesn’t give you a deep dive, they give you an algorithm that is slanted to the benefit of advertisers, narratives that they are paid to promote, or what has been decided that people should think.

There is something called the Gell Mann Amnesia effect. If you are unfamiliar, do let me explain. You know when you are reading articles at an online site, and you come across one that is completely wrong. You happen to know that it is a trash article, because you are a structural engineer, and the article claims that the South Korean shopping mall that collapsed several years ago did so because there weren’t enough bunnies in the foundation, and you’re like… just what? That is not how anything works, anywhere in the world. I mean, maybe bodies in the foundations in Vegas, but that’s not the same thing.

Anyway, you know the article is trash because you are the expert. You have the education in that subject, you did research on the shopping mall collapse in graduate school, you find the whole thing ridiculous… then you go to the next page.

“Certified Nurses’ Assistant performs triple bypass on father with a butter knife on the dining room table during Christmas dinner”

and you’re like, “That’s amazing!” Meanwhile, all medical professionals are screaming at their computer screens that this is a bunch of BS!!! That’s the Gell Mann Amnesia effect. You KNEW that they were full of it with the bunny article, but then you turned the page and totally bought into the CNA being a heart surgeon. You forgot that these people are full of it, and on crack when it comes to what they write that quickly.

This is basically Google in a nutshell. You can search for something that you know about and find the results to be laughably bad, but in another search, you will buy into what the results say hook, line, and sinker. So why bring this up?

I bring it up because people have a habit of wanting to be the informed one without questioning whether or not they have any idea what they are talking about. They then inform someone else, someone with far more experience with whatever that subject matter is, that they are wrong because they have “done their research”. I get a slew of these people all the time informing me about me. Because I don’t fit into the mythical world that has been created regarding psychopathy, I am making it up for attention.

If that were the case, that I so desperately want attention for being psychopathic, I wouldn’t bother trying to speak about psychopathy in a truthful way, I would lean into the myths. You can see this all the time with people who want to be psychopathic because they crave the attention and notoriety that they see the myths of psychopathy providing. For instance:

Im 16. I have never felt real empathy and never cared to, same as grief. I used to pretend to feel it as a kid when I didn't feel shit. Had raging emotions with puberty and my chaotic arguments with people but grief was never there. Only focused on myself and my side of things. I had sexual expierience with my grandpa, not a intercourse, when I was seven, from there I got into sexual things and materials. Never understood people and why they treated me the way they did, because I just didn't understand them. Had none to wery short relationships. Seeked understanding, which I never felt I had from anyone, and seeked my “perfect” friend. Mom always said that I wanted to control everybody, and if they didn't do what I thought to be right I dropped them immediately, which I did. My folks think I have changed when really my psychopathic traits are just showing how they do for more mature people, not chaotic children in a very toxic enviroment which I had. I think of myself as weak, when thinking about the past. With the symptoms you said I also don't feel love, attachment and sexual desires because I find humans very boring and their weakness disgusting and annoying. I feel nothing for them. I fantasise a lot only with particular people I find attractive, but get bored quickly once I see their “humanity” and “get inside of them” when I was younger I developed a foolish relationship which was more like an internet relationship. I did met him once or two but refused to meet him because I was too shy so we just texted. In my head I had feelings towards him which were actually just some sexual fantasies. When we finally went out I got an ick from him doing human things like eating or smelling. Yes, he was just a fantasy object for me, and it got harder to picture greater fantasies with him so I just dropped him. My “feelings” were based on how good he looked in my head, and when he didn't I said my feelings have changed and Im scared that I want to leave him. I fucked with his mind a lot by not being able to make up my mind about whether to stay or not. Keep in mind, yes I started to develop more symptoms and coldness, now I really am much more different, but all of that was in me already. I am aware now, to an extended limit because my loud parents pictured it out very much calling me a sociopathic and psychopatic. The only things I feel is disgustment, rage that fades away and frustration which I am able to supress when wearing my mask. Now, tell me on what disorder im leaning more just so I can be aware =)

I always made myself as victim in the part just because that was how I saw myself. Keep in mind, that my goal really isn't to be called a psychopath, my goal is to always get what I want in this life but personally, I see myself as psychopath when I try to think rationally. Keep in mind, female psychopaths esspecially in puberty are different, like I was from what I am now.

None of that has anything to do with being psychopathic, and the person is too young to even consider it from the get-go. I informed them of this:

At sixteen, you cannot consider psychopathy.

The brain forms back to front. The back of the brain matures first; the front finishes around the time you hit that magic number that also allows you to rent a car, twenty-five. Until the front of the brain finishes growing, you can see narcissistic, psychopathic, and callous behavior. None of it means anything at that age.

The last aspect to develop is also the part of the brain that deals with consequences of your actions. Without that in place, people can behave in very impulsive ways. That, as well as behavior laced with several aspects of narcissism, is just part of being young. These traits can easily be mistaken for ASPD or psychopathic traits.

and their response was rather predictable:

Well well well. Im not telling you all the “bad” things I do now. I did accidentally kill two animals and never felt guilty for that, my parents did call me a monster for not crying. Probably did squeeze one or two tears because I felt I needed to. Im only sixteen, that is indeed true, but im gonna develop in so much worse person when this side unlocked in me. It was meant to be.

Don't you call me an edgelord, Im researching everything about psychopathy currently as now im giving time to understand myself before I get used to it and never even think about my psychopathy again.

Well, if you are saying psychopathy is born, why do you think teenagers can't have it? My moms dad was schizophrenic. I guess it came from that dude.

Im so detached from people that I don't see them as real

The defensiveness is high in this one and I certainly never called him an edgelord, though he certainly seemed to have many of the hallmarks of one, so I simply replied with:

Psychopaths don’t see people that way

He did not prefer that response:

Boo boo, they do, and they definitely don't sit by their computers all day and reply to those miserable neurotypicals like you do. Psychopaths don't have SO because they are not to be bonded with people. Every psychopath thinks different because every individual is different. Don't bullshit me bitch =) If that was all, you're useless to me and clearly are in conflict with the shit you're saying baby.

You are not the only psychopath even tho you clearly aren't one. Probably another american dumbass. Psychopathy can be in different ages. Just making you smarter, now bye boo.

Now, why am I sharing with you yet another example of this sort of arrogance? Because if you see it in one form, I guarantee you that it is around you in many others, and from different sides of the conversation. On the other side of the conversation about psychopathy, not the side of people like this kid who wants to be one so they are leaning as hard as they can into the myths that are constructed around it, you get the other side that is doing the opposite. Instead of seeing those myths as defining character traits of the badass they want to be in their own lives, they have decided that psychopathy is something that it isn’t so they have the consummate scapegoat of evil.

On the post that I put up about self-manipulation, I got this comment:

The self manipulation doesnt make sense… you can make the pasta without needing to vaccuum at all. I would say the self manipulation is a weakness and something that actually goes against psychopathy.

…Based on what? They have also decided that their perception is the only one that has merit. They have decided that using methods to get things done is a weakness, which it certainly isn’t, and because they have decided this, and have also decided for unclear reasons that this, “actually goes against psychopathy”, therefore is simply not true.

It would be one thing if that was where to comments stopped. I can engage with a person and try to figure out where they are coming from, or why they think as they do. I can provide resources that back up my claims, and answer questions should they arise. However, this same person commented again:

Thats wrong again… nobody is really “immune” to everything… psychopaths or just strong willed people who think logically, could be resistant to for example drug or alcohol addiction… but when it comes to something else like collecting cars… spending money on certain things.. they are likely the same as anyone else. Of course how you define addiction varies person to person. If youre blowing thousands a month on shopping or collecting something or traveling it may be seen as addiction yet to some people theu would only consider an addiction to be like a drug addiction that leads yoi to stop making your house payments etc

Psychopaths are immune to addiction, and there isn’t any ambiguity in what addiction is. It is a chemical or emotional dependency on substances or emotional payoffs that the person relies on to function in their lives. The chemical process doesn’t fire in psychopaths, and the emotional aspect is impossible for us as well. Again, I would have engaged with this, and provided evidence to support it. However, they were not yet done:

Athena you may not be a psychopath. Its hard to say based off your profile etc. you may just be imitating one for internet attention and recognition. Generally a psychopath would not openly brag or seek validation simply for being a psychopath

All of these comments were on the same post, meaning that they had not bothered to read anything other than that post. Had they, they would have responded to each post and the information contained within it. Instead, they stayed on the singular post and arrived at their proclamation based on their own assumptions and their dictations on how psychopaths think or what they do.

Psychopathy is not something that changes based on someone else’s belief in its presence, but fortunately, psychopaths don’t care what people think. I included both of these examples to point out the prevalence of this sort of thinking, and what sort of damage it can do when dealing with other circumstances.

In my lifetime I have known several people who dealt with invisible problems. Some health-related, but many having to do with abuse. I have mentioned that a friend of mine works with people who have experienced severe abuse in their lives and the aftermath of that abuse. Some of them are very scarred. The abuse left behind very clear indelible marks that they will never escape from. It is difficult to call a person a liar when they have deep-abiding scars where they were restrained for years on end. However, some don’t have marks like that. It doesn’t change what they went through.

One of the most difficult things that these people deal with is trying to find a way to function in a world that they have never been introduced to. This is a long drawn-out process that can have many failures and setbacks. These setbacks can be emotional, and many are, but they can also be physical. Not being able to see the damage done to a person doesn’t erase it from their bodies. External scars can be covered in clothing, tattoos, or even under hair, but internal damage can cause problems years after the abuse has ended.

One of these people was a young man that unless you knew what he went through, you would think he was just a fairly short, good-looking guy, that was a bit shy. Years have passed since he was rescued and he has done a good job of masking the external physical effects of his childhood. However, he was starved for many years, and severely so. His organs have had long-term damage from this. On an occasion when he was dealing with some of the effects, he had to visit a doctor that wasn’t one that was familiar with his history. The doctor told him that he was making it up, and that starvation doesn’t cause those issues. How did the doctor know? Did he deal with people who had been starved for long periods of time so he knows that they don’t show these sorts of problems?

No.

The crux of his argument? It just didn’t make sense to him. Sure, he could have looked up what happens to someone who has been anorexic for many years and that they can still suffer from the effects of that even after recovery, but no. He didn’t want to do that. He simply wanted to accuse this guy of lying, because “it didn’t make sense to him”.

Fortunately, he was able to leave that doctor’s care and return to someone who knew his medical history, but he did try to reason with the doctor. The response? He must be an addict, and that’s what caused all his problems. The doctor looked at his appearance and came to that conclusion without any further consideration.

Arrogance is shockingly common, and when people are arrogant, they can do a lot of harm in the world. With the two examples of arrogance regarding psychopathy above you are seeing the cycle of the ouroboros.

On one side you have someone that wants to be a psychopath leaning into the myths, and on the other you have the person that believes psychopaths are something that they are not, and reaffirming nonsense myths because it suits their narrative. One draws from the other, and both are wildly incorrect about what psychopathy is. Is there a point in reasoning with them? I tried with the one, but he wasn’t having it. The other decided that they knew me better than I know myself, so I see no point in trying to give them better information. My time is more valuable than that, and I do enough to challenge those myths as it currently stands. There is only so much of my time that I am willing to give up. It’s not a hill worth dying on.

However, that young man who needed medical help, or the guy who is trying to give an account of his weight loss journey, those situations and stories have an effect on the world that can be very positive. In the case of the abuse victim, the doctor should have consulted a specialist. In the case of the guy who lost weight, the need to prove that story wrong by making the claim that the guy wasn’t even the same in the before and after is a reflection of that person’s overall mentality. Perhaps they too are struggling with weight issues, but it is easier to tear down someone that shows that success is possible than it is to accept that maybe the problem is something that they can do something about.

Whenever someone takes the route of deciding that they know better than the individual that they are interacting with, regardless of that individual’s actual evidence, it is done as a reflection of the self. That self-arrogance is very toxic, and so are those who have decided that they know best over everyone else.