The Illusion Of Safety

and the harm that it brings...

Humans tend to be simultaneously preoccupied with the notion of being safe, while at the same time taking their safety for granted and expecting the world to be a perfectly safe place to do whatever they want in.

It is reasonable, to some degree, to expect safety in certain circumstances. In your locked home at night with a dog and your family for instance. What isn’t reasonable is to think that safety is in any way owed to you. That mentality is dangerous, and places people in very bad situations. I have noticed this mentality growing as well, and that will not end well.

Most humans want the same thing that you do. They want to live their lives without having to be preoccupied with something terrible happening to them. That’s fine and reasonable. However, for this to be the case, you have to be aware of your surroundings, and listen to your instincts. This is happening less and less it seems and I believe it has to do with people making assumptions that they should not.

The world is not a safe place. It is not your oyster, and it is not there to take care of you. It is an untamed creature that you happen to walk through mostly unimpeded because of where you happen to live. For whatever reason, people have a habit of assuming that everywhere and everyone is good, kind, and wants the best for you.

No, no they do not. They do not have any obligation to you to be anything other than a stranger that might be reasonable to deal with, but you have no reason to expect it from them. I have had a number of conversations with people that believe, because apparently they don’t know what Google is, and have never watched the news, that every single country on earth is like the one that they came from. Even down to the criminal justice system. For instance, a conversation that I had a while ago where a person was planning on taking their recreational herb with them to visit a country very well known for having extreme laws about doing just that.

“What’s the worst that can happen? No one cares about a little weed. Right?”

“…They will put you in prison for life.”

“What? No, they won’t. Everyone smokes. Besides, if I get caught, it’s just minor possession. They’ll probably just not let me come back for a while.”

“They assume any drugs that you have you intend to sell, you have to prove that not to be the case, and if you can’t they have a variety of punishments. They might beat you, or they might murder you. Is your recreation really worth that?”

“No way, prove it.”

Sends Wiki page.

“…Dude… what? I already got my ticket.”

“Not a dude, and… what?”

“What do I do though?”

“Leave your weed at home dumbass. What is wrong with you? Why is this so difficult for you to understand, and do you not have the internet?”

“Like… why do they care so much?”

“I don’t know, I’m not from there. But guess what? You have a ticket to go there, so go and ask them. Let’s see how that goes, shall we?”

“You don’t have to be mean about it…”

“and you could have firing brain cells… So there’s that…”

People make these assumptions all the time. How about the mental giants that decided to quit their jobs in DC and bike ride across the Middle East to prove that humans are inherently kind? What happened to them? They were killed by ISIS. Everyone and their dog knew that was coming, and yet, they believed that their special shiny awesomeness was going to protect them. It didn’t, and them believing that it would was hubris.

How about the guy that decided that he was going to live off the land and ventured into the backcountry of Alaska only to starve to death because reading a book about “The Call of the Wild” is not the same thing as actual backcountry training?

People make dumb decisions about the world all the time because they are under the illusion that they are owed safety. You aren’t. No one owes you anything. This belief that the world should be akin to being covered in bubble wrap has got to stop. if you keep acting like you have a protective shield like Booker in Bioshock Infinite, you are going to find yourself in nasty situations that will prove to you that you don’t. You are on your own, and people should be teaching their children that outside of the house that they are used to, they need to have their wits about them.

Ever listen to true story narrations about bad things that happen to people? I do, and often, because I like interesting stories. Let me tell you, the number that starts with the disclaimer that they know they were stupid to put themselves into whatever situation that they barely escaped is about ninety-nine percent. Why? Because they took the world for granted, and then found out it has teeth. Not to mention absolutely crazy people that have a very deep interest in doing them harm.

Why? No reason. Just cuz. Just cuz you’re there, and available to them. And guess what? You thinking that you should be safe no matter where you are or what you are doing does not mean one damn thing to that person.

Also, ladies, and I cannot stress this enough, you have to STOP WORRYING ABOUT BEING RUDE. You do not have to be nice to strangers that are imposing on you, or intruding on your space. Learn to tell them to bugger off and mean it. Don’t entertain some jackaninny that obviously isn’t too keen on leaving you alone. Engage the help of others around you, leave the area, call the police, stay in a public area, and good lord, if they engaged you and you have a weird encounter with them, and then decide to walk the ten blocks through the dead of night because them being out of sight apparently to you means that they are actually gone, stop that.

Also, also, what is the deal with people not calling the police when they see someone outside their house, have threatened to come over, are throwing rocks at the window, are banging on the door, are crashing their party, and seem extremely sketchy, when they hear a noise in the basement, the garage, the shed, or find their door unlocked or open when they know that they have locked it and have no explanation for why it is now unlocked? Seriously… it’s unreal the number of people who seem to think that someone who intends to do them harm will just go away. Are you six? Do you also think that hiding under the blankets will make the monster go away? Call the police. You should have called them five minutes ago.

Why is this something I am talking to you about? Because, and I cannot believe that this is so common, I consistently have people telling me about their plans, or things that they did that were dumb as f*ck. Not to mention the number of people that go missing because they had some notion that they thought was going to work out for them. Do you know how many models will agree to meet with a photographer that they do not know, at night, alone, at a place of the photographer’s choosing, because they think that the photographer is keen on helping them? It’s a lot. A surprising number really.

In my life, I have known a lot of different performers, and that includes strippers that did private shows. A private show means that they go to the person’s house or hotel room and dance for them, or go to a bachelor or birthday party. The girls that I knew didn’t do sexual favors, and a lot of them didn’t travel with a roadie. A roadie’s job is to stand outside the door ready to bust in there to help her should she run into trouble. Guess what happens when you don’t have a roadie? Here’s a story that should stick with you from one of these dancers that did travel with a roadie to every single show without exception.

It was very late at night and the agency was going to close within the next twenty minutes, at two AM, when a call came in for a show. This particular dancer was dropping off the agency’s cut of her last show. Because she was there when this call came in the show was offered to her. She and the roadie figured, why not? More money right? The show was half an hour away so they headed out.

When they arrived the scene in front of the was off. This show was at a house, and when they pulled up she said that the grass looked overgrown to her. She also said that her roadie, a guy that knew his way around construction sites and the work involved there thought he heard a generator running. He also just didn’t like the looks of the work truck in the driveway. They both were already having that sense that something is off here.

They go up to the door and either ring the bell, or knock, and wait. It takes a minute or two, but the door finally opens. There is a guy standing there who looks at the dancer really quickly but focused on the roadie.

“Oh… I didn’t know you would come with someone…”

He said, still looking at the roadie. She tells him that she always travels with a roadie, all dancers do. That last part was a lie, but you will know why she said it soon enough.

He is still staring at the rather large roadie and quickly decided that he wants to cancel the show. He pulls a crumpled twenty out of his pocket and handed it to the roadie, and shut the door. The roadie and the dancer got back into the car and on the drive back compare notes. This is what they saw.

The front door opened into the living room of that house. Directly across from the door was a horseshoe-shaped kitchen, while the living room itself stretched off to the left, but it was devoid of all furniture save for one item:

A chair that the dancer described as a “Morticia Addams Chair”. In the kitchen, there was a broom that was leaned against the counter, but the counters were completely bare. Several cabinets were open, but there was nothing inside of them. The house had a very “empty” feel. The roadie was the one that pointed out that there was only one light in the entire house. A lamp against the back wall that seemed to lead out into the backyard, plugged into a cord that suspiciously went out the window. Remember when he said he heard what sounded like a small generator running?

They went down the list, and agreed in the end. Everything in that house could be moved in a matter of seconds. A wicker chair, a broom should he have an interest in taking it, and a lamp. Grab the generation from the backyard, and the man could be gone in less than five minutes.

This man did not live in this house. Perhaps it was for sale, or perhaps it was an empty home that he had done some work in, but he didn’t live there, and never had. It was because the house was empty that no one was caring for the lawn, and why it had gone weeks without being cut. This man called to book a show half an hour away from where the agency was located twenty minutes before they close. This would guarantee the dancer arriving after the agency was closed. This would buy him time before the dancer was reported missing. Neither of them know if the plan was to kidnap her, or just leave her body there in the house when he was done doing whatever he had planned.

The only reason that she survived that night was that she did not take her safety for granted, and always had a bodyguard. I choose this story because it was about a girl that was in a dangerous profession, but tried to mitigate that danger to herself. I could have told you the one about the dancer that didn’t, and all they found of her was her head.

Your safety is not guaranteed by anyone. Nor should it be. You have to be aware of the things that you decide to do, and how you will protect yourself from things going bad. If you go to a club and drink, do not ever set your drink down or have it out of your sight. This goes for men and women by the way, because I have heard some real horror stories of men being drugged. Your gender does not grant you a pass from criminals.

If yo

Pro-tip. It is never advisable to drive into the mountains, in the dead middle of winter, get out of your perfectly functioning and warm car, and decided to repeat that hike you took last summer because the falls were so pretty, and you want to see what they look like in the snow. That trail is under ten feet of snow, and you have no gear. Does that matter? Apparently not. Let’s get the kids involved as well. There is absolutely no way we are going to inconvenience the search and rescue people who will have to hike through that same ten feet of snow to find our dehydrated asses and then get us airlifted to the hospital on the brink of death and severe frostbite. That till never happen… except it does, every. single. time.

The world is not interested in your survival. You have to handle that part. Not to mention the world doesn’t own you anything, nor do strangers that might be very muderery. They are interested in what they want, and what they want might include your leg on their dinner plate. Do not assume that anything that you are going to do doesn’t require investment of thought. You have to consider things that you may not be aware of, so you will have to do research. Assume the worst, and prepare for it. That way you are covered when it goes okay, but you might survive if it goes awry.