I like this new format. I like that you are writing about what you want to write about. I am hoping to hear some stories about your days as a magicians assistant or any damn thing you would like to share with us. I am positive that not only are you a gold mine of interesting experiences but your journey and your perception of the world is unique and important.
I like the title, Eye of the Storm. It is a phrase I am well familiar with and the imagery and meaning are clearly in my mind as my late husband’s first book of photographs is titled exactly that. He too stood in that quiet place observing, recording and stopping time so the viewer can pause to consider the world through a different lense and perhaps take away something meaningful.
It is exquisitely beautifully perfect that you have chosen this phrase to represent the place you stand. ♥️ Elizabeth
Well that was an education for me. I've always hated manipulation, I've almost always seen through it. I guess I'm doing it wrong which explains a lot. If you want me to help you with something just ask, same for every thing else. I am far more likely to do something or give something if asked directly, than if you try that game playing stuff. It always makes me feel like you don't think I'm smart enough to see what you're doing, so my reaction is to feel insulted and not do it . But that's just me, maybe I should play, as much as I hate to, it may be helpful. Hmmm.
Fantastic. I agree with you, beside from the point of emotional manipulation vs greed:
simply because my resources seldom are such that I can enrichen someone.
If I can, I chose that path. Otherwise, it's emotional manipulation over a long time. And before I begin I check my i's and cross my t's to make sure the person will not find out, which means; they won't notice they've been played, and should they against my careful planning notice what's going on, I already have someone that the breadcrumbs lead to - and it's not Sweet Sarah down the block.
I mean, I do agree that greed is a safer card, but emotional can work very well if planned.
I still find that the easiest way though, with 98% of people I've encountered, is inflating their ego. I'm yet to meet someone who doesn't get a kick out of feeling smart.
You've given a whole new perspective on fallout and greed, something that I've never even considered before. It's almost like being enlightened.
"Thus closing off many other possible valuable interactions." Focusing more on the long term goal and lifetime value rather than just taking advantage of someone once and dipping.
If I'm after finding a sexual partner that will also clean my house, cook etc. Wouldn't offering something material make it sound like I see her as a whore? I see how trying to 'conquer' her isn't really my style because it's too much emotional investment and while I like her to be honest it could be any other woman that has a decent personality and is attractive.
I have frequently been able to see WHEN someone is trying to manipulate me but never been good with the WHY. I don't understand what people gain. I am obviously easily taken advantage of. I feel if people were just blunt and asked for what they wanted then life would be a lot easier for everyone. In previous relationships I have learnt to remind them that when they need something to ask directly, for example attention and emotional needs like hugs.
You said in the first part that for a good exchange you would need to want what they have to give. Can you please give me some examples of what you would want? Not including possessions like money or power like status. What could you possibly want?
Out of curiosity, how do you ‘manipulate’ people? I can see how emotional manipulation works, say someone gets sad, and the other person tries do do something about it. But I just can’t see how it works without the emotional side of it. Could you give some real examples?
Nice post Athena. Just in case you didn't notice it already and given that I know you used to appreciate the suggested edits feature in Quora, I'll point out that you probably made a slight mistake in the fifth paragraph when you said "will" instead of "with" in the phrase "If they are manipulating you will affection, affection will work".
As an unrelated question, have you read Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? If so, what do you think of it?
This is very interesting. It covers both defense and offense positions. It's hard to remove the emotional attachment since that's how we see everything. Removing emotions clears up space for critical thinking.
I've read all your posts on Quora which are always on point.
Excellent post! So many thought to process. I'll have to reread it several times to absorb it (Spaced repetition?). Thank you very much for so much valuable information!
Thank you Athena, I needed to hear this.
I like this new format. I like that you are writing about what you want to write about. I am hoping to hear some stories about your days as a magicians assistant or any damn thing you would like to share with us. I am positive that not only are you a gold mine of interesting experiences but your journey and your perception of the world is unique and important.
I like the title, Eye of the Storm. It is a phrase I am well familiar with and the imagery and meaning are clearly in my mind as my late husband’s first book of photographs is titled exactly that. He too stood in that quiet place observing, recording and stopping time so the viewer can pause to consider the world through a different lense and perhaps take away something meaningful.
It is exquisitely beautifully perfect that you have chosen this phrase to represent the place you stand. ♥️ Elizabeth
Well that was an education for me. I've always hated manipulation, I've almost always seen through it. I guess I'm doing it wrong which explains a lot. If you want me to help you with something just ask, same for every thing else. I am far more likely to do something or give something if asked directly, than if you try that game playing stuff. It always makes me feel like you don't think I'm smart enough to see what you're doing, so my reaction is to feel insulted and not do it . But that's just me, maybe I should play, as much as I hate to, it may be helpful. Hmmm.
All the above, of course
And, have an insight as to how to leverage your talent stack to make easy money, legally and quasi ethically.
Regarding “Keep your emotions at bay, and watch it like you would watch someone making a move on a chess board”
This is how I, with non Methylated oxytocin receiptors do it.
Realize that no one actually experiences you directly, they only experience a model of you in there minds
The literally, objectively cannot have an opinion of you, only the lossy compression model.
They cannot love or hate you, only the model in their minds.
The map is not the territory, don’t eat the menu.
Fantastic. I agree with you, beside from the point of emotional manipulation vs greed:
simply because my resources seldom are such that I can enrichen someone.
If I can, I chose that path. Otherwise, it's emotional manipulation over a long time. And before I begin I check my i's and cross my t's to make sure the person will not find out, which means; they won't notice they've been played, and should they against my careful planning notice what's going on, I already have someone that the breadcrumbs lead to - and it's not Sweet Sarah down the block.
I mean, I do agree that greed is a safer card, but emotional can work very well if planned.
I still find that the easiest way though, with 98% of people I've encountered, is inflating their ego. I'm yet to meet someone who doesn't get a kick out of feeling smart.
And it's really easy to dumb down.
You've given a whole new perspective on fallout and greed, something that I've never even considered before. It's almost like being enlightened.
"Thus closing off many other possible valuable interactions." Focusing more on the long term goal and lifetime value rather than just taking advantage of someone once and dipping.
By greed do you mean things money can buy?
If I'm after finding a sexual partner that will also clean my house, cook etc. Wouldn't offering something material make it sound like I see her as a whore? I see how trying to 'conquer' her isn't really my style because it's too much emotional investment and while I like her to be honest it could be any other woman that has a decent personality and is attractive.
I have frequently been able to see WHEN someone is trying to manipulate me but never been good with the WHY. I don't understand what people gain. I am obviously easily taken advantage of. I feel if people were just blunt and asked for what they wanted then life would be a lot easier for everyone. In previous relationships I have learnt to remind them that when they need something to ask directly, for example attention and emotional needs like hugs.
You said in the first part that for a good exchange you would need to want what they have to give. Can you please give me some examples of what you would want? Not including possessions like money or power like status. What could you possibly want?
How would you handle things if you met a mentally unstable untrustworthy potentially dangerous person who made it obvious sex was their currency?
When you say"stuff" are you taking about material things?
Out of curiosity, how do you ‘manipulate’ people? I can see how emotional manipulation works, say someone gets sad, and the other person tries do do something about it. But I just can’t see how it works without the emotional side of it. Could you give some real examples?
By the way, great blog!
Nice post Athena. Just in case you didn't notice it already and given that I know you used to appreciate the suggested edits feature in Quora, I'll point out that you probably made a slight mistake in the fifth paragraph when you said "will" instead of "with" in the phrase "If they are manipulating you will affection, affection will work".
As an unrelated question, have you read Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? If so, what do you think of it?
This is very interesting. It covers both defense and offense positions. It's hard to remove the emotional attachment since that's how we see everything. Removing emotions clears up space for critical thinking.
I've read all your posts on Quora which are always on point.
Excellent post! So many thought to process. I'll have to reread it several times to absorb it (Spaced repetition?). Thank you very much for so much valuable information!
This is phrased perfectly. I like how you sectioned out the information.