I'm reading this and it's like I wrote it, I do this all the time whether it's wait staff or support for my cable service and about anything else I do.
This post is fantastic and validates my findings as well. I am not always able to carry it off, but find having a kinder and friendlier attitude provides for a more amicable and helpful exchange. We both, then have a "win/win" experience. You have put into words the way I aim to treat others. It is always good to read or hear when others agree about human nature and how to navigate with a positive environment being the goal! ! ! ! ! 🙏 🙏🙏
You create the world in which you want to live. Many people fail to learn that lessen, so they create a world that is full of strife for themselves and others.
Thank you for writing this; it makes sense to me, largely I feel it's in the realm of what I've learned for "masking". (That's what most social stuff is for me!)
I think I might tend to avoid people who don't treat me well, or be otherwise "nonpresent" if I cannot completely avoid them; this strategy choice might be related to what worked best for me in the past, as well as sometimes not having the sense that I totally understand why someone might be being a jerk. In the rare instances of a jerk being totally "in my face", the emotional techniques I learned in martial arts classes help me. (I'm no black belt but learned a lot of other stuff about humans there.)
I found much of this useful. I've got some work experience in customer service, so have been on both sides of the fence. Will bear in mind and thank you for sharing.
No worries Athena. I know definitely need to at least do better with using this advice at least more often than I do (whether in the context of doing a job well or as a service/company customer). Good to have the reminder!
Yes, this is absolutely the way everyone should live, and it makes sense both from a personal gratification point of view AND a general moral sense. However, it needs to be noted that earnest, well-meaning people differ greatly in their levels of physical beauty and personal charm/charisma. A highly moral plain old awkward person is unlikley to get these whizz bang rewards. Not disagreeing with what you're saying, just pointing this out. People, do this anyway, but reset your expectations.
It occurred to me that I have a real life example of this system working. Over years of travel I have had many dozens of roommates and remote-adventure tentmates. People would ask me, how do you cope? They would HATE to have roommates and worry about getting along with them or ending up with someone dreadful when you have to live so closely and often depend on them practically and psychologically. I can only say that they have been an absolute joy to me. With some roommates we'd be up late giggling hysterically and chatting like teenagers. Others were impressive people from whom I learnt so much or took inspiration. Some were people vastly different from myself with whom I nevertheless established a great connection. Several have become long term friends. All this is priceless and means the world to me. One, just one, was someone who seemed to have an edge to them, and so I was cautious, but we had no actual issues and even a few laughs. That's the worst of my experience! I always, just naturally, went into it thinking, YAY!, who will they be, what nationality, what will they be like, what will they tell me, how exciting! I do not underestimate the element of luck in my experience, and I do also realise that these people were a bit different from the random population given the trips we were on, but still, in retrospect I think there was definitely an element of making ones world/getting back what you put out going on here. I saw these relationships as opportunities and priveleges rather than burdens.
They have finished their business at the restaurant but stay at the table for hours talking and hanging out. The restaurant and servers make money on turning that table. People who sit there taking up space without any benefit to the establishment are table campers.
Thanks for the great post! This is definitely my favorite post of yours (close tied with "Tip the scales in your favour"). I always find the advice you give to be very applicable to my own life.
Actually in that sentence it is meant to be an illustration of one of the few times I will send a food back. Moldy fruit I will send back, but I was certain to make sure that the waiter didn't feel badly for it. They are not in charge of the kitchen's walkin.
Outside of something like that, if I order something, and it is not to my personal taste, then sending it back it not an option. In that case, I can ask for a box to see if anyone else would like it, simply not eat it, and if they ask why I can say it wasn't to my taste, but insist on paying, or take the box and throw it away myself.
I'm reading this and it's like I wrote it, I do this all the time whether it's wait staff or support for my cable service and about anything else I do.
Works, doesn't it
This post is fantastic and validates my findings as well. I am not always able to carry it off, but find having a kinder and friendlier attitude provides for a more amicable and helpful exchange. We both, then have a "win/win" experience. You have put into words the way I aim to treat others. It is always good to read or hear when others agree about human nature and how to navigate with a positive environment being the goal! ! ! ! ! 🙏 🙏🙏
You create the world in which you want to live. Many people fail to learn that lessen, so they create a world that is full of strife for themselves and others.
This eloquence is perfection. Lessons useful to all under any circumstance. Thank you for a lovely inspiring break from a day of toil.
That's very kind of you, Elizabeth. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this; it makes sense to me, largely I feel it's in the realm of what I've learned for "masking". (That's what most social stuff is for me!)
I think I might tend to avoid people who don't treat me well, or be otherwise "nonpresent" if I cannot completely avoid them; this strategy choice might be related to what worked best for me in the past, as well as sometimes not having the sense that I totally understand why someone might be being a jerk. In the rare instances of a jerk being totally "in my face", the emotional techniques I learned in martial arts classes help me. (I'm no black belt but learned a lot of other stuff about humans there.)
I can see how that would be very helpful.
I found much of this useful. I've got some work experience in customer service, so have been on both sides of the fence. Will bear in mind and thank you for sharing.
As always, thank you for reading, Emma. I am glad that it was of use to you.
No worries Athena. I know definitely need to at least do better with using this advice at least more often than I do (whether in the context of doing a job well or as a service/company customer). Good to have the reminder!
Yes, this is absolutely the way everyone should live, and it makes sense both from a personal gratification point of view AND a general moral sense. However, it needs to be noted that earnest, well-meaning people differ greatly in their levels of physical beauty and personal charm/charisma. A highly moral plain old awkward person is unlikley to get these whizz bang rewards. Not disagreeing with what you're saying, just pointing this out. People, do this anyway, but reset your expectations.
That is a fair point.
It occurred to me that I have a real life example of this system working. Over years of travel I have had many dozens of roommates and remote-adventure tentmates. People would ask me, how do you cope? They would HATE to have roommates and worry about getting along with them or ending up with someone dreadful when you have to live so closely and often depend on them practically and psychologically. I can only say that they have been an absolute joy to me. With some roommates we'd be up late giggling hysterically and chatting like teenagers. Others were impressive people from whom I learnt so much or took inspiration. Some were people vastly different from myself with whom I nevertheless established a great connection. Several have become long term friends. All this is priceless and means the world to me. One, just one, was someone who seemed to have an edge to them, and so I was cautious, but we had no actual issues and even a few laughs. That's the worst of my experience! I always, just naturally, went into it thinking, YAY!, who will they be, what nationality, what will they be like, what will they tell me, how exciting! I do not underestimate the element of luck in my experience, and I do also realise that these people were a bit different from the random population given the trips we were on, but still, in retrospect I think there was definitely an element of making ones world/getting back what you put out going on here. I saw these relationships as opportunities and priveleges rather than burdens.
The way you handle things has worked out very well for you. That's awesome. Let people tell you who they are, and they invariably will.
What do you mean by ‘table camp?’
They have finished their business at the restaurant but stay at the table for hours talking and hanging out. The restaurant and servers make money on turning that table. People who sit there taking up space without any benefit to the establishment are table campers.
Oh…
Thanks.
Thanks for the great post! This is definitely my favorite post of yours (close tied with "Tip the scales in your favour"). I always find the advice you give to be very applicable to my own life.
I'm glad you enjoy them
Athena, is there any chance that you would engage on a (paid) consultation to have your perspective regarding a matter?
Actually in that sentence it is meant to be an illustration of one of the few times I will send a food back. Moldy fruit I will send back, but I was certain to make sure that the waiter didn't feel badly for it. They are not in charge of the kitchen's walkin.
Outside of something like that, if I order something, and it is not to my personal taste, then sending it back it not an option. In that case, I can ask for a box to see if anyone else would like it, simply not eat it, and if they ask why I can say it wasn't to my taste, but insist on paying, or take the box and throw it away myself.
What comment?