Very true. Found this out first hand when I got to know a girl with an amazing body, lots of other girls were jealous of her but she had major issues around food that preoccupied her every waking moment and in truth, hated herself. If they knew that body was the product of an eating disorder they might reconsider just how 'better off' she was.
It's sad how modern society treats food. Throughout most of human history food was scarce and famine was common. In fact there are plenty of places like that in the world today. Food was seen as it was suppose to be seen as, something essential for survival, which is should be. Now that we live in a society of too much food, we are facing problems with both an obesity epidemic, and a rise in eating disorders.
I remember stopping at a shop after work and buying an ice-cream sandwich and a co-worker of mine saw me eating it and said, "caught ya!". She probably meant it in a joking matter, but still I was dumbfounded by the idea that I was "caught" eating ice-cream. I've also seen attitudes on many websites that talk about eating healthily and they assume that weight loss is the default.
While everyone makes their own decisions, I can definitely see the tendrils of diet culture influence mainstream thinking, to the point where degrading yourself about how 'fat' you are is considered normal, and unhealthy attitudes towards food is passed off as health advice.
The way you perceive things is so different. Your writings give me a fresh perspective and a realistic view on life. I have a question, maybe you may never feel like this from a neurotypical point of view but no harm in asking I guess. How does one not feel envy when one finds out that their boyfriend has been cheating behind their back when another woman gets all the attention that you first got? It's like you know how amazing beautiful your life would be if only you had his loyalty. You envy the warmth and affection that the other person now gets, it could have been you!
Because the thing that feels good, like nourishment and one realizes that there is more of it, but it is denied to them, I'd say. Realizing someone is a cheat taints it for you Athena and it might come to emotional coding of memory that seeing the taint now is all that matters. Good feeling that was does not exist for you, only present moment. For those for whom it still does in memory it might clash more with the current information. Here there is this care, here there is this potential of being cared for, could it please be directed all in the same direction? They look towards option of better securing the resource, rather then writing the resource of because of being poorly secured. Sparrow in hand vs pigeon on the roof might come into play too. This is their man, the shall hold onto before they go into trouble of finding new one. And it is trouble due to attatchment. Attuning away from the first one is a toil even without having to go to search for new mate. You might have built something together already and sorting out that is another toil, never mind starting anew with someone else. And... People look and people see a person could not keep their mate and that might reflect on them and make people wonder how worthwhile the person is if their mate was easily led away. Huh... Maybe that is why it is a big deal who dumps whom? Beside one's ability to deal with rejection. But that one is private. People telling other that they were the one doing the dumping is public. Of course, of course, other times judgment would be on the cheating mate, especially if he is know to cheat and chase skirts chronically.
Indeed, psychopathy is something you grow with, and learn to function within. It isn't something that I think could be dropped on someone and be successful.
I vaguely seem to remember that the protagonist in the TV show Dead Like Me was killed by something falling from a height -- maybe a piano. Or maybe a toilet. And yes, having psychopathy foisted onto an unsuspecting random neurotypical just wandering along the street -- by a falling heavy object. Yes, that would be funny. I'm almost tempted to try to write a short story... Almost.
People are essentially looking at what they don't have rather than what they do have.
Envy as an emotion can be healthy in moderation if it is used as motivator to set realistic goals, but definitely with our access to the internet and the public lives of people around the world, we're going to see people who have things that we will never have. It's best to appreciate what we do have in that situation.
Definitely. I think they also monitor in which direction is distribution moving - disparity increasing or decreasing, whether they see problems getting worse, remaining the same or improving, whether they suspect they are being leeched and not given their due, whether they perceive misconduct and disrespect among leadership.
Sometimes your logical and sensible advice is stuff that NTs will find extremely difficult or impossible, but the lessons of this post are achievable, and very necessary. Time and experience help.
Yes, I am aware of all of these things. I celebrate others. I am not jealous of anyone anymore. I want to be the best version of myself. It may be cliché. However, I own it.
I think people need to understand this reality. Society sets us up. We have no competition. It’s all about improving your own life.
Bits of it seemed to match things you've said about yourself, but this week has been too nutso for me to read anything carefully. I'd be interested in whatever you think about it.
Why is it difficult to see faults within the self? If it is a protection of ego, that can be addressed. If it is a blind spot, meaning you cannot see faults because you are too close to them, ask someone that you trust and do not let your ego forbid you from hearing the response.
Very true. Found this out first hand when I got to know a girl with an amazing body, lots of other girls were jealous of her but she had major issues around food that preoccupied her every waking moment and in truth, hated herself. If they knew that body was the product of an eating disorder they might reconsider just how 'better off' she was.
Yes, I knew many models like this.
Yes. I've been that girl. "Oh you're so lucky you're thin." It ain't luck. It's not even discipline, it's pathological.
It's sad how modern society treats food. Throughout most of human history food was scarce and famine was common. In fact there are plenty of places like that in the world today. Food was seen as it was suppose to be seen as, something essential for survival, which is should be. Now that we live in a society of too much food, we are facing problems with both an obesity epidemic, and a rise in eating disorders.
I remember stopping at a shop after work and buying an ice-cream sandwich and a co-worker of mine saw me eating it and said, "caught ya!". She probably meant it in a joking matter, but still I was dumbfounded by the idea that I was "caught" eating ice-cream. I've also seen attitudes on many websites that talk about eating healthily and they assume that weight loss is the default.
While everyone makes their own decisions, I can definitely see the tendrils of diet culture influence mainstream thinking, to the point where degrading yourself about how 'fat' you are is considered normal, and unhealthy attitudes towards food is passed off as health advice.
Yep, it's a bit of a messed up world where the word "wicked" has been diluted to the point where it can refer to, say, a chocolate dessert!
Yes, I agree
The way you perceive things is so different. Your writings give me a fresh perspective and a realistic view on life. I have a question, maybe you may never feel like this from a neurotypical point of view but no harm in asking I guess. How does one not feel envy when one finds out that their boyfriend has been cheating behind their back when another woman gets all the attention that you first got? It's like you know how amazing beautiful your life would be if only you had his loyalty. You envy the warmth and affection that the other person now gets, it could have been you!
Why would you ever envy the attention another woman gets from a waste of oxygen that cheats?
Because the thing that feels good, like nourishment and one realizes that there is more of it, but it is denied to them, I'd say. Realizing someone is a cheat taints it for you Athena and it might come to emotional coding of memory that seeing the taint now is all that matters. Good feeling that was does not exist for you, only present moment. For those for whom it still does in memory it might clash more with the current information. Here there is this care, here there is this potential of being cared for, could it please be directed all in the same direction? They look towards option of better securing the resource, rather then writing the resource of because of being poorly secured. Sparrow in hand vs pigeon on the roof might come into play too. This is their man, the shall hold onto before they go into trouble of finding new one. And it is trouble due to attatchment. Attuning away from the first one is a toil even without having to go to search for new mate. You might have built something together already and sorting out that is another toil, never mind starting anew with someone else. And... People look and people see a person could not keep their mate and that might reflect on them and make people wonder how worthwhile the person is if their mate was easily led away. Huh... Maybe that is why it is a big deal who dumps whom? Beside one's ability to deal with rejection. But that one is private. People telling other that they were the one doing the dumping is public. Of course, of course, other times judgment would be on the cheating mate, especially if he is know to cheat and chase skirts chronically.
But I might be wrong.
Pretending that there is value in a valueless mate makes no sense to me
Good article. Seems particularly apt for those who envy others with psychopathy.
Indeed, psychopathy is something you grow with, and learn to function within. It isn't something that I think could be dropped on someone and be successful.
LOL. I have an image of psychopathy dropping like a piano from a rooftop onto someone's head. Talk about unintended consequences. ;-)
Right?
That would be funny
I vaguely seem to remember that the protagonist in the TV show Dead Like Me was killed by something falling from a height -- maybe a piano. Or maybe a toilet. And yes, having psychopathy foisted onto an unsuspecting random neurotypical just wandering along the street -- by a falling heavy object. Yes, that would be funny. I'm almost tempted to try to write a short story... Almost.
It was a toilet seat.
Yes! Thank you.
Yes, and the show was quite funny.
Not feeling it as 'envy', but I'd take the psychopathy!
-SmileS- Insightful and timely work!!
Lessons for us all.
I'm reminded of the fact that in developed nations happiness is more determined by wealth distribution rather than absolute income. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02052/full
People are essentially looking at what they don't have rather than what they do have.
Envy as an emotion can be healthy in moderation if it is used as motivator to set realistic goals, but definitely with our access to the internet and the public lives of people around the world, we're going to see people who have things that we will never have. It's best to appreciate what we do have in that situation.
That is an excellent point, I agree.
Definitely. I think they also monitor in which direction is distribution moving - disparity increasing or decreasing, whether they see problems getting worse, remaining the same or improving, whether they suspect they are being leeched and not given their due, whether they perceive misconduct and disrespect among leadership.
❤️🙌🏼❤️ brilliant, with excellent advice.
Thank you
Bravo!! Magnific!!
I'm glad you liked it, Luiz
Sometimes your logical and sensible advice is stuff that NTs will find extremely difficult or impossible, but the lessons of this post are achievable, and very necessary. Time and experience help.
Spot on as usual.
Yes, I am aware of all of these things. I celebrate others. I am not jealous of anyone anymore. I want to be the best version of myself. It may be cliché. However, I own it.
I think people need to understand this reality. Society sets us up. We have no competition. It’s all about improving your own life.
Humans...
Putting this snippet here as I'm short on time and energy today...
...there is an article on women psychopaths here that you might like, in case you didn't see it yet Athena and others:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20221111-what-its-like-living-with-psychopathy
Good lord it's awful. Was your intention for me to write a post taking this apart? Because they made it very easy to do.
Bits of it seemed to match things you've said about yourself, but this week has been too nutso for me to read anything carefully. I'd be interested in whatever you think about it.
I will see about doing a pro and con post about it
How does one become objective about themselves? Like it is easier to find fault in others because we can be objective while evaluating them.
Why is it difficult to see faults within the self? If it is a protection of ego, that can be addressed. If it is a blind spot, meaning you cannot see faults because you are too close to them, ask someone that you trust and do not let your ego forbid you from hearing the response.
I see.
Every failure is a lesson that will come to aid you in the future
I have done it, and find no value in it.
Eating doesn't always occur to me in the first place. Hunger is something that I can easily ignore.