Can A Psychopath Be Manipulated?

Let's find out...

I was asked some time ago whether or not psychopaths could be manipulated. I took some time to answer this one, because, I have to admit, it is very infrequent that this happens, but that isn’t to say that it never does. It’s complicated. To look to what manipulation really is, it is getting someone to do, say, or believe something for personal gain. Many of you already know that my position on manipulation is that it is the basis for all human interaction.

This assertion often causes some bristling in people that are very defensive about the idea of being manipulative. The fact of the matter is this. All human interaction is manipulation. You are trying to get your wants and needs met, and manipulate all you know in order to suit that end. Herein lies the difference, however. Most neurotypical manipulation is about emotional needs and wants. This is a circuit exchange with other likeminded, and like wired individuals. You don’t realize that you are manipulating one another, because you all have shared goals. The reason we psychopaths see it, is that we do not share those likeminded goals, but despite this, y’all treat us like we do.

Granted, this is because we mask who we are, so in neurotypical minds, we are exactly like them, but to us, we are just mimicking what is expected of us. The things that you do to one another to get your wants and needs met fall on deaf ears when it is tried on us, and frankly, it is super annoying. Take guilt tripping for instance, even the subtle stuff that the guilt tripper is unaware they are doing. That screams loudly to us because we have no guilt to be felt. A perfect example of this would be my lack of calling my family. My mother would like me to call more, and has said as much. This is not an unreasonable request, nor is it something that she is trying to guilt me into, but I have mentioned this to people I know when this subject has come up, and they feel guilty for me.

This is a totally unnecessary response, but they definitely side with my mother on the matter. Even with things that we should feel guilty about, we won’t. Not ever. Let alone the emotional desire by those around me to try to get some sort of emotional support response from me. Just because you guys share a similar makeup, so this sort of behavior is normal, and even welcome, we do not, and see it for what it is. Manipulation. What is interesting to me is the idea that because you basically all agree with the outcome, that the behavior is somehow different than what it is. It’s still straight up manipulation.

So, on to whether or not psychopaths can be manipulated. I say yes, we certainly can be, but more often than not, it really comes down to bribery. We very much approach life with a tit for tat, mentality. I described this in detail here:

Tit for Tat

If you are interested in reading it, but the summerization is this:

Treat me well, and I’ll treat you better.

Treat me poorly, and I’ll treat you worse

If you understand how a psychopath works, you can often get the outcome that you are seeking, assuming, of course, that you aren’t trying to get some kind of genuine emotional response. If someone wants me to do something, they offer me my currency, and likely, they are going to get what you want. However, the difference is, we are willingly participating in this exchange, regardless of whether of not the other person is aware of it. Sometimes it is a subconconsious understanding that this will be the outcome, and other times it it is very intentional. They understand how I function and willing partake in the exchange.

However, there are occasions that psychopaths can be manipulated. This usually falls into distinctive categories, however.

1. It is someone that has a fair amount of alloted trust from us. This could be a parent that is rearing us, and instilling into us certain ideals. However, we do tend to question things, so things such as religion tend to be questioned all on their own. Regardless of whether we have conflicting input from an outside source.
   
   This could also be a friend, that for whatever reason, has decided that it is a good idea to lie to us. If we have known them long enough we might overlook questions that we would ask if it were someone else involved. This would be a tresspass on the trust I have granted, and there is rarely a return from such actions once I am aware of them, but it can work for a time.

2. There simply isn’s access to differing information. For this, I would use the definition of, “psychopath”, but even add into, “sociopath”, for an example. When I was diagnosed, as I have mentioned, I was no more immune to the myths surrounding the word, and I believed what I had been told “psychopathy” was.
   
   Even after I did know, it took me some time to question other things. Sociopathy or narcissistic personality disorder certainly falls within that category. I understood psychopathy, but that didn’t mean that I immediately applied the nonsense opinions that I knew affected psychopathy beyond it. Now, as I have done more reading, research, and I have learned how the so-called “studies” are done, I am much more inclined to question everything, and assume what I am being told about such things are suspect.

These are good examples of manipulation that is effective on me. There are likely others, but offhand they don’t come to mind. One type that I seem to be particularly immune to is the, who you heard it from first, belief. This basically is the rule that when there is conflicting story, two people who have very different descriptions of an event, and may have a personal investment in the narrative shifting their direction, that people tend to believe the one that gets to them first with their version of events.

I have seen this one take on a life of its own, even when there may be irrefutable evidence that the first story teller is a total liar, there are people that will stand by them, simply because they invested in that version of events, and aren’t willing to consider new information.

I don’t tend to believe the person that gets to me first, espeically if they specifically sought me out to tell me their tale of woe. That is because I question their motivation in doing so. What are they seeking? Likely an ally, but I don’t dranm conclusions about anything without more information, and certainly without asking questions. I ask, and when it is for the purpose of allyship, it is amazing how poorly the Q&A goes for them. They want alliance based on emotions, and my goodness, did they pick the wrong person there. Numerous times the person has gotten defensive with me, and accused me of assuming that they are lying. No, I just want all the information. Not just the little bit you are willing to share in order to get me on your side.

Try harder, try again. Actually, don’t, because I find the whole idea tiresome. In the next post I am going to go through a story about manipulation, and why it specifically worked on the individual involved, and why manipulation such as it doesn’t work on us. It should be interesting.

Question asked of me, can psychopaths be manipulated. Yes, but lacking things like fundamental trust, and also, the need for others, makes this very difficult. Use story as an example of them mental workings of someone that is more likely to be manipulated, and why this would not work on a psychopath. It is the different brain function that makes this more likely. Psychopaths are even likely to question things without additional information, such as religion as I did as a child, and the type of manipulation that neurotypicals use is largely emotional, which will not work on a psychopath. It is likely to have the opposite effect on us, as we don’t have those emotions to play on, and the more someone tries, the less likely we are to go along with their story.