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May 25, 2022·edited May 25, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Given your descriptions of the ways your and other psychopathic minds work - including the lack of bonding, empathy and other oxytocin responses that you posted on Quora- I would have thought that all Ps were asexual. Clearly I’m wrong about that, but It would seem that sexual attraction of any kind would involve some level of oxytocin’s influence. And from a biological/evolutionary perspective, humans could take the hit of only 1% not participating in the propagation and perpetuation of our species. It would be interesting to actually know what sex is really like for Ps, devoid of all the NT trappings. The NT ‘Soul mate/truly-caring-beyond-chemistry lovemaking’ (apologies for the syntax) really can be transcendent. But only if the sex is secondary to the caring. I consider myself to be a ‘spiritual’ person. When I say that, I hope it has no ego attached. I believe life has a function: for us to evolve into the best versions of ourselves, with perfection being the ultimate goal (nirvana, etc.). I know that has little meaning for Ps - if any - but it really is a thing for many NTs. I guess I’ll find out in the end. But it’s a slippery slope when you’re learning your way around other people, and whom to trust.

Thanks for taking the time to address this issue, Plenty of food for thought.

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May 25, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am still confused about this topic. Psychopaths don't experience chemical love, but isn't lust chemical love too? And cuddling... Well, I love cuddling but it's a purely physical sensation for me. I love the feeling on my skin. I think it's called skin hunger. I am asocial and I always suspected that sex drive was what pushed me to find a romantic partner. I also don't cheat and demand loyalty, but after 2 years in a relationship there is no sexual attraction left and I am willing to end the relationship for someone new. Also, sex is purely physical for me. No mental or emotional component other than the physical sensation. A couple of years ago I lost my sex drive (probably due to menopause) and I no longer have any interest in a romantic relationship. I'm completely happy alone with my special interests. People tried to tell me it's because of phobias or anxiety that I only had a romantic partner in my life and no friends. But I think I was right to believe that it was just sex drive that pushed me to find a romantic partner. And I don't have any phobias or social anxiety. I simply have no interest in people. I'm curious about your perspective on this.

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Jun 17, 2022·edited Jun 17, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

I don’t get it. Why make monogamy a requirement if you’re emotionally inoffensible, don’t require intimacy, and are likely unable to fully meet most people’s sexual needs? Seems like a massive bargaining chip you’re knocking off the table. Isn’t there a more efficient way to get whatever value monogamy is intended to achieve, especially when you understand that intimacy has virtually opposite value to your partner than it does to you? If a neurotypical understands that reciprocal intimacy with a psychopath is just a mirage but chooses to be with one anyway, the option of having sex with whoever, whenever is a lottery winner. What trade off is worth that million dollar ticket that both of you are willing to trash it? Why does monogamy need to be a two-way street when it has completely different meaning and value to the two of you?

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May 26, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

This is all very interesting, and I think less difficult to understand than perhaps other aspects of psycopathy. I was waiting for the asexuals to pipe up, since their experience is comparable.

One thing I still do not understand though is why fidelity matters to you at all. Honesty and trust, yes, but I cannot get my head around why an open and declared outside encounter would matter to you in any way, since sexuality is not part of your bonding. Perhaps it is me being blinkered by being NT, but I can only see emotional components leading to pain from that sort of event, and emotional horrors as a result for people who weren't prepared, so I wonder what makes it so important to you? Wanting to avoid having a third person complicating your life long term, sure. But there is a long history of NT people being grudgingly accepting of infidelity as long as it doesn't impact on their relationship. If they are cared for, if not much time is taken out, if they are not socially embarrassed or whatever, if the primary personal and practical committment is there, it's not necessarily a big deal. This pragmatism seems to me very like your natural state. If you can deal with a partner playing tennis on Thursday, how is a brief encounter really different if you have no emotions involved? Complications? Well, a shoulder strain from tennis may impact on an imminent active vacation, it's just one of those things. I have long wondered about this since your posts on Quora. Yes, you are an individual with your own personality and don't speak for all psychopaths, but the importance you attach to this is something I still struggle to understand.

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May 25, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Finding words for the inner workings of our minds can be quite helpful when it comes to navigating relationships in this world. In recent years I realized that the terms “sex-neutral asexual” were closest to how I feel about this subject. That would be the short version. The long version would be, well, this post.

Quite fascinating and really, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore that there are many overlaps between my ND brain and other’s (like yourself.) Especially this: “It’s just something that is [occasionally] enjoyable, but not necessary.” Exactly.

To add perspective, I’m AFAB but almost two years on testosterone, and feel exactly the same about this as before HRT. Physical drive changed briefly but cognitive drive remained the same (impassive; much like hunger vs. appetite, etc.)

Sex can be nice, but I really don’t think I feel the same way about it or place as much importance on it as my past NT partners have.

I almost skipped reading this one, because it’s been such a fraught subject in my experience over the years, but I’m glad I didn’t. Thanks, Athena.

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

So compare the propensity to lie, cheat with sociopaths, and people with NPD to psychopathy.

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Sep 12, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

I wonder if two psychopaths would be a good match for a relationship? What would they look like together? Maybe some other factors would make it also difficult... In principle, I wonder which other personality type or mental profile would make a good relationship with a psychopath.... if any

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Jun 10, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

As a male psychopath I can agree with your outlook on intimate relations, so much so as my wife had me go and get my hormone levels tested which of course they were all fine I tried to explain it to her and I'm more mental I'm not mentally invested at the moment then I'm not interested hard for me to keep Forefront of my mind unlike her I even have to have a prescription for Viagra and have to make the conscious effort to keep in mind how much that interaction means to my wife I mean honestly it's a job I would rather have a wet dream than masturbate before perform sex because at least that's exciting and different.

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Jun 5, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Athena, General statement here. You highlighted that your experiences are from a female P's perspective. I think that the masculine P's perspective is likely much different. The issue with oxytocin and requirements for high stimulus to provoke an erection could be a problem for many. And it's unlikely they would settle for 'take it or leave it,' but be more vulnerable to pushing the envelop sexually for the thrill necessary for erections to occur and more importantly, to be maintained.

A base requirement for any psychopath is dominance in partnerships. The psychopath may claim they are only demanding equal footing, but if he or she reflects on this more carefully, she/he will find that having a bit of an edge is essential to their sense of well being.

And I suppose a P could argue that its not so much wanting the upper hand, as simplifying and streamlining a life that requires multiple masks for multiple people and occasions.

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I get that cheating is a betrayal, but why bother requiring your partner to have sex with only you in the first place, though? For neurotypicals things that produce this behavior are: jealousy, insecurity, wanting to feel "special", or tradition. I don't think you can feel any of those emotions, nor are psychopaths bound by tradition, so I wonder what the reason is.

There is no jealousy because that requires an insecurity, but perhaps there is something like greed, or dominance-desire? Or is it for more practical reasons. e.g. to avoid STDs or ensure your partner's loyalty does not shift.

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May 28, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

True, but I'm always looking for familiar comparisons anyway.

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May 26, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Biological and emotional.

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May 26, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

As always injoy your thought an how you operate, an think😊

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May 25, 2022Liked by Athena Walker

Thanks for the article..and your time! My question is how often you are the one to initiate sex if at all?

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As a male psychopath I was always against cheating and never cheated however due to my emotional unavailability I was often cheated on however. It didn't bother me not one bit in 1 case. I don't want to get into publicly. I stayed the person I had to understand why they cheated. What is their motivation behind the act? What was the motivation behind a desire? It's a Is reaction to trauma. Is this going to be repetitive behavior and it became this Uncontrollable monster is in this Particular female I made it one of my missions it was interesting so I wanted to know what led her to be this sweet Conservative County girl sexually and politically. into into the deepest. Depravityes one can have as s quote on quote "Normal person" i'm talking to the Point of gang bangs glory holes et where I remained with this person however. I can no longer engage in sexual activity for my overall concern of myself. And rightfully so. I always was putting myself through the self control exercises. It became a personal mission to know like a Handle. thing that came my way. And not olny react negatively especially in a violent way. If I know I can easily win the computation or fight physical fight even with a male if I know I could just dominate? Them. I have 0 interest in it. It does not stimulate me even in the slightest. I need to be very clear here I did not introject any ideas. I would only be the person she could tell anything tdo with Absolutely 0 repercussions. Or judgment I essentially help her with her so called sexual awakening. I have very strict rules for myself not to engage in depraved behavif you're in anyemanuel sexually sexually and most importantly with violence I. Think the biggest mistake a psychopath can make. Is to integrate sex and violence? I think it's a community we need to communicate and clear misconceptions but also at the same time. Make people there are some of us that can do unspeakable things to you. I also belithe group of male and female psychopaths should get together and create 1A way to spot it 2. A little self defense 3. What should you do in that situation in 4 if you're in that situation? And I hope nobody finds themselves there. What's statistically the data tells us it will happen again begin. But but I think psychopass construct how to behave in the situations to one tdisassociate. From what's being done to your physical body? Try to gain the trust of the Up to predator and to buy time and number one escape and get out alive cause. There's the number of events in me some these unfortunate scenarios. Where? It's going to be intuitive that you know when this person is going to kill me. I am a psychopath but 1st I was crooned molested molested and then brutally raped over years. I think there's a Lotus that have this incredibly unique perspective instead of being ostracized it should be studied. We shouldn't be afraid. Publicly leave that literally someone will come and try to kill us and they'll think they're doing a good thing. Oh I just killed Ted Bondy unfortunately. These narrow minded indivjewels they've never had a complex thought in their life and they exist on such a low level of society but Suddenly they think they have a purpose and possibly save someone well. I think that is as dangerous if not more than us. I'm willing to propose that that would happen more than 10 months and I guarantee you. One of them will say they were doing God's work.

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