This one inspired me to book my colonoscopy, which my doctor has been hassling me for a year to do.
I just really hate the prep and starving for a day!!
I also have no symptoms that worry me, but due to IBS, they told me I'd not notice if I did, which is why they recommend it done regardless.
It's easy for me to think there's no point, but your post is right - I'd be so mad at myself if something was wrong that would have been picked up early.
Worthwhile to notice that not all procrastination is necessarily bad. While often it's indeed sourced by lazyness, other times it could be backed by valid instincts. A little discernm3emt might be well applied, here.
My current tactic when I catch myself procrastinating it to check closely what feelings are causing it, and run them through my logic filter.
If they turn out to unreasonable feelings, I'll come to terms with the fact and just do the thing already.
But if there's validity to the feelings - such as needing more time to research something in more depth, or realizing a given task in fact detrimental, unproductive, or just comparatively less useful, then I'll procastinate away while figuring out how to get the pointless thing off my plate and/or keep it from looming over my head.
But yeah - unless this vital step is taken, problems are indeed bound to arise.
What I'm trying to point out here: negotiating with ourselves to find a way over whatever shortcomings or obstacles are causing us grief - tends to yield better results than just chastizing and berating ourselves. Especially so for the emotional types.
Thank you for another wonderful and insightful post. Some of your work, makes me laugh because I see myself right away! This one, I didn't laugh, and I needed a few minutes to see myself:
Despite my material success (evidenced by my several alimonies and child supports) it appears, it is me: "a nonstop cascade of bad decisions, avoidance of responsibility, and allowing things to take on a life of their own instead of addressing them when they arise."
"(I never find my) own fault with the place their lives have ended up". Uh, oh.
In fact, I act as if this is a feature, not a bug. It must truly be tiresome indeed to deal with me. However, I seem to truly enjoy myself. I certainly appear happier than anyone I know.
Yet, I spend little or no effort to build strong relationships: If everything goes to sh*t, I know I will be standing on my feet. Somewhere else, surrounded by new people, but on my feet.
Thanks again Athena. I really enjoy your posts. Thanks for allowing me to write back.
Thank you. I learned this lesson but a different way. I was studying the habits of successful people to try and learn some insight into how they maintained success. "If you don't like it fix it. Get up right then and spend 5 to 10 minutes fixing it now. Otherwise your going to lose time being upset and therefore unproductive." Honestly, when the lesson hit home was when I spent all weekend being mad about having to do all the dishes. Sunday night I said, "Im going to light a cigerate and wash till ita gone. When it's done I'll quit." Well, the dishes were done before I finished my smoke... It hit me like a ton of bricks that i lost roughly 48 hours time over something that took less than 5 minutes to do. This is one of the best pieces of advice in the world. Extremely well written as always. This was well timed in my life and reminds me how important it is to maintain my due diligence. Thank you again. I hope you have an awesome day.
Aug 18, 2022·edited Aug 18, 2022Liked by Athena Walker
I really procrastinate when someone has a behavior that is bothering me. As a result, years of drama built up to intrusive thoughts. Everyday while I am doing my daily routine my brain keeps bringing up unresolved confrontations: the woman who kept talking loud in the library, people who screamed at me, moments my work colleagues accused me of doing something I didn't do... it is as tiring as it sounds.
It's not my fault those things happened to me, but it was my responsibility to deal with it. Now I am doing tons of therapy to find out how to stop having these thoughts.
On the other hand, when I choose to solve the problem, things can go surprisingly well. My neighbor recently installed a house alarm which she turned it on when she left to work. But something went wrong and the alarm was going off all the time, which was hard to do anything in my house. I struggled for days until I couldn't bear it anymore and I knocked on her door. We had a 20 second conversation and she shut off her alarm. It was that simple!
This is a fantastic post! I agree-- totally-- with all of it. Unfortunately though, I am in a situation that I would like to address, but the other person would rather avoid it; and it might be an un-winable situation. I hope not! I might try sharing this post with them to see if reading it would encourage communication ?🤞 🤷♀️
Procrastination is an ongoing issue. This morning as I was about to leave for work I looked around at my kitchen and wondered aloud what could have happened in there. So it's getting a cleaning.
I have some other things that have been back burner due to a lack of funds and I know that I need to make an effort to see that I get the money to deal with those problems.
BTW the story of the children and CPS must be nearly ubiquitous in the US of A
Nice read, however sometimes there is a reason, when a person has mental illness, but for a normal person, is day you're right there's no reason to put things off. In either case it always blows up eventually.
Yes, such an easy trap. I don't know if it would be useful for others, but what helped me was categorising the procrastinated tasks. Very bad eg. difficult and possibly life changing conversation. Bad eg. big college assignment. A bit unpleasant eg. serious housework, safe but unpleasant medical procedure. Neutral eg. dishes, phoning for a harmless appointment, taking the garbage out, showering (yes, showering can sometimes be too much).
When severely depressed, even the 'neutral' category can seem just all too hard. What helped dig me out of such holes was to formally categorise the neutral tasks as actually neutral, and then just do any such task as it came to mind. Not 'I'll have to do the dishes later', just do them NOW, automatically, it's not actually that unpleasant. See sometching else that needs doing? Leap on it. This can create a helpful positive feedback loop, and lead to being productive and then taking on the less pleasant tasks to keep things moving along. Momentum.
I have made this suggestion to non-depressed people in my life and they have found it helpful. Is there any reason not to phone now, it will only take 2 minutes? Stunned silence. Well then do it right now, why put it on list? And put that dirty washing through. Procrastination can become just a default habit where EVERYTHING gets put off. But do a bunch of neutral tasks first and you might just find you have the wherewithal to do the more dreaded ones.
Athena, your statement of 'Why do I need to feel like doing this in order to do it?' makes perfect sense. It is good practice to often do things one doesn't like (as long as they are beneficial), just because.
I totally enjoyed this article and your writing. When I see you have a new article out, I usually read it right away, a nice break from my work and useful procrastination! This time could not but was still looking forward to it. I really started laughing about success with cancer through procrastination. Hysterical! Keep your articles coming, you are educating us all, light heartedly.
I thought that people with ASPD didn't procrastinate. If my memory serves me well I think Kevin Dutton wrote something about psychopaths not procastating in his book. Thank your for your daily enlightment
Another great post, Athena. Thank you.
This one inspired me to book my colonoscopy, which my doctor has been hassling me for a year to do.
I just really hate the prep and starving for a day!!
I also have no symptoms that worry me, but due to IBS, they told me I'd not notice if I did, which is why they recommend it done regardless.
It's easy for me to think there's no point, but your post is right - I'd be so mad at myself if something was wrong that would have been picked up early.
Worthwhile to notice that not all procrastination is necessarily bad. While often it's indeed sourced by lazyness, other times it could be backed by valid instincts. A little discernm3emt might be well applied, here.
My current tactic when I catch myself procrastinating it to check closely what feelings are causing it, and run them through my logic filter.
If they turn out to unreasonable feelings, I'll come to terms with the fact and just do the thing already.
But if there's validity to the feelings - such as needing more time to research something in more depth, or realizing a given task in fact detrimental, unproductive, or just comparatively less useful, then I'll procastinate away while figuring out how to get the pointless thing off my plate and/or keep it from looming over my head.
But yeah - unless this vital step is taken, problems are indeed bound to arise.
What I'm trying to point out here: negotiating with ourselves to find a way over whatever shortcomings or obstacles are causing us grief - tends to yield better results than just chastizing and berating ourselves. Especially so for the emotional types.
Thank you for another wonderful and insightful post. Some of your work, makes me laugh because I see myself right away! This one, I didn't laugh, and I needed a few minutes to see myself:
Despite my material success (evidenced by my several alimonies and child supports) it appears, it is me: "a nonstop cascade of bad decisions, avoidance of responsibility, and allowing things to take on a life of their own instead of addressing them when they arise."
"(I never find my) own fault with the place their lives have ended up". Uh, oh.
In fact, I act as if this is a feature, not a bug. It must truly be tiresome indeed to deal with me. However, I seem to truly enjoy myself. I certainly appear happier than anyone I know.
Yet, I spend little or no effort to build strong relationships: If everything goes to sh*t, I know I will be standing on my feet. Somewhere else, surrounded by new people, but on my feet.
Thanks again Athena. I really enjoy your posts. Thanks for allowing me to write back.
Thank you. I learned this lesson but a different way. I was studying the habits of successful people to try and learn some insight into how they maintained success. "If you don't like it fix it. Get up right then and spend 5 to 10 minutes fixing it now. Otherwise your going to lose time being upset and therefore unproductive." Honestly, when the lesson hit home was when I spent all weekend being mad about having to do all the dishes. Sunday night I said, "Im going to light a cigerate and wash till ita gone. When it's done I'll quit." Well, the dishes were done before I finished my smoke... It hit me like a ton of bricks that i lost roughly 48 hours time over something that took less than 5 minutes to do. This is one of the best pieces of advice in the world. Extremely well written as always. This was well timed in my life and reminds me how important it is to maintain my due diligence. Thank you again. I hope you have an awesome day.
I'm amazed how you lack empathy yet your writing passes so much emotion.
I really procrastinate when someone has a behavior that is bothering me. As a result, years of drama built up to intrusive thoughts. Everyday while I am doing my daily routine my brain keeps bringing up unresolved confrontations: the woman who kept talking loud in the library, people who screamed at me, moments my work colleagues accused me of doing something I didn't do... it is as tiring as it sounds.
It's not my fault those things happened to me, but it was my responsibility to deal with it. Now I am doing tons of therapy to find out how to stop having these thoughts.
On the other hand, when I choose to solve the problem, things can go surprisingly well. My neighbor recently installed a house alarm which she turned it on when she left to work. But something went wrong and the alarm was going off all the time, which was hard to do anything in my house. I struggled for days until I couldn't bear it anymore and I knocked on her door. We had a 20 second conversation and she shut off her alarm. It was that simple!
Some people are they’re own worst problem.
This is a fantastic post! I agree-- totally-- with all of it. Unfortunately though, I am in a situation that I would like to address, but the other person would rather avoid it; and it might be an un-winable situation. I hope not! I might try sharing this post with them to see if reading it would encourage communication ?🤞 🤷♀️
This looks like an interesting article. I'm gonna bookmark it real quick and read it a bit later... 😁
Procrastination is an ongoing issue. This morning as I was about to leave for work I looked around at my kitchen and wondered aloud what could have happened in there. So it's getting a cleaning.
I have some other things that have been back burner due to a lack of funds and I know that I need to make an effort to see that I get the money to deal with those problems.
BTW the story of the children and CPS must be nearly ubiquitous in the US of A
Nice read, however sometimes there is a reason, when a person has mental illness, but for a normal person, is day you're right there's no reason to put things off. In either case it always blows up eventually.
You have very profound lessons in each of your post that I apply. Surprised this info is free!
Yes, such an easy trap. I don't know if it would be useful for others, but what helped me was categorising the procrastinated tasks. Very bad eg. difficult and possibly life changing conversation. Bad eg. big college assignment. A bit unpleasant eg. serious housework, safe but unpleasant medical procedure. Neutral eg. dishes, phoning for a harmless appointment, taking the garbage out, showering (yes, showering can sometimes be too much).
When severely depressed, even the 'neutral' category can seem just all too hard. What helped dig me out of such holes was to formally categorise the neutral tasks as actually neutral, and then just do any such task as it came to mind. Not 'I'll have to do the dishes later', just do them NOW, automatically, it's not actually that unpleasant. See sometching else that needs doing? Leap on it. This can create a helpful positive feedback loop, and lead to being productive and then taking on the less pleasant tasks to keep things moving along. Momentum.
I have made this suggestion to non-depressed people in my life and they have found it helpful. Is there any reason not to phone now, it will only take 2 minutes? Stunned silence. Well then do it right now, why put it on list? And put that dirty washing through. Procrastination can become just a default habit where EVERYTHING gets put off. But do a bunch of neutral tasks first and you might just find you have the wherewithal to do the more dreaded ones.
Athena, your statement of 'Why do I need to feel like doing this in order to do it?' makes perfect sense. It is good practice to often do things one doesn't like (as long as they are beneficial), just because.
I totally enjoyed this article and your writing. When I see you have a new article out, I usually read it right away, a nice break from my work and useful procrastination! This time could not but was still looking forward to it. I really started laughing about success with cancer through procrastination. Hysterical! Keep your articles coming, you are educating us all, light heartedly.
I thought that people with ASPD didn't procrastinate. If my memory serves me well I think Kevin Dutton wrote something about psychopaths not procastating in his book. Thank your for your daily enlightment
I would prefer to pay Athena to talk to then my psychiatrist Lol