The procrastination thing is a really big one. It's easy to get distracted with other things that need done right now and suddenly you've have something past the deadline.
My natural inclination is to always just get it done. In the environment I work in there is always someone with something that needs your attention (so they think). I will tell them that "multitasking" is bullshit and get back with me when I'm available. I can't always manage to avoid the attempts to pile it on but I do my best to keep the deck clear
I can’t tell you how helpful this post is - logical and well-written advice that applies to every single person alive. I took many screenshots, and will refer to them. Again, these are ideas I know inherently, but when one becomes overwhelmed with emotion (and possible disregulation) it’s easy to say, hard to do, and yet I think the more you PRACTICE these as part of a routine of thinking (like CBT), the easier they will become. I’m sending this to a few people who NEED this.
When we fear failure and rejection, that means our infatuation with our own subjective delusions is taking the precedent to objective reality.
It's all too common for us emotional types to do just that. It's also the very thing that we often break our hearts against. It's a case of our greatest strenghts sourcing our gravest weaknesses.
The workaround is indeed to start looking at all obstacles (including our delusions) as training opportunities. Solid article, right here.
One thing I keep being struck by is how often good psychopathic advice is perfectly in line with good biblical advice. I could go through this article and pull up biblical references for each and every point, but since I'm currently dealing with a career crisis (and also really itching to play Fallout 4), doing so would be procrastinating. I'll just do one quick one, though: Matt 6:27: "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
I enjoyed this piece over my morning coffee and breathed a big sigh of recognition afterwards. I’ve been implementing these habits without realizing it. You managed to put into words the various lessons, thoughts, and realizations that have been floating around in my head the last few months.
I finished three years of EMDR therapy two weeks ago and I’m a better version of myself. I fear less, obsess less, and ruminate less. And I’m that much happier and more engaged with my life and the present moment for it.
The gap between wanting or needing to accomplish things and me doing them has shortened to almost nil. I’m failing forwards and amazed at how much easier it is to just try. Just get moving and see what happens. Thanks again for another practical primer on living well.
One of those first split-second, instinct driven decisions that has paid off so well was subscribing to your newsletter back then.
I'm so fortunate that I happened to come across your blog. I think the world restructures itself around you as you move towards an aim, so does your understanding of it as the contrast between perceived threat and the actual threat is reduced. I am trying to raise an argument that the interpretation of realty is what describes and explains the behavior of an individual.
I struggle with procrastination for a long time but I'm optimistic that I will find a way around it. And this article I will reread throughout my life. Thanks Athena!
The procrastination thing is a really big one. It's easy to get distracted with other things that need done right now and suddenly you've have something past the deadline.
That is why I don't allow myself to do what I want until what must be done is completed. It keeps things on track for me.
I've tried that, but then I don't end up doing anything at all.
(No, it doesn't make any sense to me either.)
My natural inclination is to always just get it done. In the environment I work in there is always someone with something that needs your attention (so they think). I will tell them that "multitasking" is bullshit and get back with me when I'm available. I can't always manage to avoid the attempts to pile it on but I do my best to keep the deck clear
I can’t tell you how helpful this post is - logical and well-written advice that applies to every single person alive. I took many screenshots, and will refer to them. Again, these are ideas I know inherently, but when one becomes overwhelmed with emotion (and possible disregulation) it’s easy to say, hard to do, and yet I think the more you PRACTICE these as part of a routine of thinking (like CBT), the easier they will become. I’m sending this to a few people who NEED this.
When we fear failure and rejection, that means our infatuation with our own subjective delusions is taking the precedent to objective reality.
It's all too common for us emotional types to do just that. It's also the very thing that we often break our hearts against. It's a case of our greatest strenghts sourcing our gravest weaknesses.
The workaround is indeed to start looking at all obstacles (including our delusions) as training opportunities. Solid article, right here.
Yep, all this.
One thing I keep being struck by is how often good psychopathic advice is perfectly in line with good biblical advice. I could go through this article and pull up biblical references for each and every point, but since I'm currently dealing with a career crisis (and also really itching to play Fallout 4), doing so would be procrastinating. I'll just do one quick one, though: Matt 6:27: "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
Indeed, that is right in line with psychopathic thinking.
I enjoyed this piece over my morning coffee and breathed a big sigh of recognition afterwards. I’ve been implementing these habits without realizing it. You managed to put into words the various lessons, thoughts, and realizations that have been floating around in my head the last few months.
I finished three years of EMDR therapy two weeks ago and I’m a better version of myself. I fear less, obsess less, and ruminate less. And I’m that much happier and more engaged with my life and the present moment for it.
The gap between wanting or needing to accomplish things and me doing them has shortened to almost nil. I’m failing forwards and amazed at how much easier it is to just try. Just get moving and see what happens. Thanks again for another practical primer on living well.
One of those first split-second, instinct driven decisions that has paid off so well was subscribing to your newsletter back then.
It sounds to me like you are living very well
It's been a long road to get here, but yes, this feels good.
I will be re-reading this more than once.
Thank you
I have been following your blog specifically to get this advice.
I’ll create a hypnosis script to assist in installing these traits so they become more automatic
Very cool
I enjoy your writing immensely, and you knocked it out the park with this one! Thank you.
Thank you kindly, Suzanne.
Thank you.
Thank you for reading, Phillip.
“Unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday.
Why fret about it if today be sweet?”
- The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
I'm so fortunate that I happened to come across your blog. I think the world restructures itself around you as you move towards an aim, so does your understanding of it as the contrast between perceived threat and the actual threat is reduced. I am trying to raise an argument that the interpretation of realty is what describes and explains the behavior of an individual.
I struggle with procrastination for a long time but I'm optimistic that I will find a way around it. And this article I will reread throughout my life. Thanks Athena!
Thank you for reading, Aster. I am glad that this piece is helpful to you.
All of this is very good advice.
I love this! I have academic journal access and i found an article by Dutton titled, “The psychopath makeover” is that what you refer to?
it may well be the same text. I will have to look for it, but I imagine that the points will either be the same, or quite similar. Is this it?
https://archive.ph/19WJO
I know it looks weird when you get there, but it is the best way to view things without having to be subscribed to a site.
It’s the same article with a different name. 😃 let me know if you want a pdf or something else from behind the paywall
I appreciate it. I have ways around paywalls, but I will let you know if I run into obstacles.
Can the way different psychopaths view self interest be different, or do all of them think along the exact same lines?
Yes, it can be seen very differently. It will be based on what the individual values.
Thanks for putting this together, very interesting and lots to think about! Nailed it.
Thank you, Tom
Great article, as always
Thank you
👍